Ok heres the deal. We got married about 6 mos ago. He has yet to tell me he loves me. Yes he did say it before we were married. He likes to be the one in charge of everything. (he is a lot older than I am). The only people in the household that he is affectionate with are his two oldest children. (not in a sick sort of way) (we have a son who is 2). I am begining to be resentful and jealous of the oldest children. Which isn't even their fault I know. They are just children (ages 11 & 15) . Just because he is older than I am should not mean that he treats me like a child, and be the one in charge. I want to get a life with or without him. I am only 30. Do I really have to settle for this the rest of my life??? I have a hard time communicating with him about things that are important to me cause he always has some excuse. I would love to hear him say that he loves me at least once a wk or even month. I keep thinking if I die would he even bat an eye???? HELP
2006-12-29 02:33:50 · 9 answers · asked by Glo B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First try talking to him about the way he is with his kids versus yall's kids and the I love you thing. Depending on his response it could get better or not help at all. Life is too short to settle for the rest of your life, and be unhappy. Your unhappiness will end up reflecting on your 2 year old too, so don't suffer!
2006-12-29 02:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, you have a 2 year old with him. Your 30 and have been married for 6 months. Yes, sounds like he just deems you as one of the children. Instead of having 3, he now thinks he has 4. Tell him your feelings. If you truly feel, he wouldn't bat an eye if you die........that's sad. What happened in 6 months to make him stop saying the I love you's? How can he have an excuse for not saying he loves you? There is no excuse for that. Do you tell him and he just doesn't reply? Or, do you not tell him either. Not sure what else I can add here.
2006-12-29 02:41:33 · answer #2 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only 30?
Huh?
A person's life span used to be about 30.
Alexander the Great died at 33.
Jesus died at 33.
Napoleon became the ruler of France at 30 then, conquered Europe.
President Clinton was in the U.S. House of Representatives at 30.
General Colin Powell was a Major and asst. chief of staff of operations in Vietnam for a huge division at 30.
Director Steven Speilberg had already had several blockbusters like "Close Encounters" at 30.
Vice-President Dick Cheney already ran important matters for President Nixon in the White House to become White House Chief of Staff at 33 for President Ford
Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was already a Congressman from Illinois at 31.
Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice was a professor at Stanford University at 30.
Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor was Asst. Attorney General of Arizona at 31.
Huh?
Only 30 and still need a life without someone?
2006-12-29 02:43:55 · answer #3 · answered by Stargatebabe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My hubby does not say "I Love You" very often, we have been together nine years. BUT, if in passing I say something like, "I really need to clean out my car." That day, it is clean. Or, "A screen on the garage door would be nice." The next weekend, I have a screen. He shows me he loves me by listening and doing things for me. As soon as I realized that, I quit stressing about hearing it. Read, "The Five Love Languages".
2006-12-29 02:42:55 · answer #4 · answered by Helen T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wonder how he was treating you when you were dating. I know that when dating that is our best behavior. It is obvious that he has a very low opinion of you. you need a open line of communication. You say he is not responsive to that . You will have to negotiate a better way. Try openly talking to him if this fails and I suspect ti will. ask him questions. Like how do see this marriage working? or How can I get you to realize I need affection and to hear you love me?
2006-12-29 02:47:40 · answer #5 · answered by Roger W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think befor your husbend made this family,he should have made sure he had enough love and affection for all of you! What ever his "hangup" is, it's not right to play favorit's,and if the job is too big for him,he should step aside and let a Man take over!
2006-12-29 03:40:26 · answer #6 · answered by lkayj4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make your verbal communication work out, talk about inner you not just the outer sides of the two of you, what you wish,dream, what you love ,hate in life, if you have a very good verbal communication you can tell him that you want to hear him say i love you's to you.
2006-12-29 02:54:08 · answer #7 · answered by blue violet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you need to sit down and have a serious converstation with your hubby. Let him know how you are feeling. A person gets respect only sometimes after insisting on it.
2006-12-29 02:39:50 · answer #8 · answered by hotgramma 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put your foot down and tell him that his marriage is his number one priority, and if he doesn't treat it as such, then it's over.
2006-12-29 03:13:38 · answer #9 · answered by S K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋