Last night I was suffering from an extreme pain across the middle of my back, my husband knew. He suggested I got into bed and got me some painkillers and water. When he got into bed he made it obvious he wanted sex. I just lay there not responding till he turned over and went to sleep. Should I have had to tell him I was not in the mood as I was in pain?
2006-12-29 02:29:02 · 27 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My boyfriend is the same way and unfortunately, yes you had to say sweetie my back is killing. Trust me they forgot just that quick because for them you just suck it up and move on. I have learned that you can't change him but you can lovingly educate him on how we feel. But we can't do it in a needy way because they don't like that. So be lovingly direct and he will not hold it against you.
2006-12-29 02:32:47 · answer #1 · answered by Marcella D 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've heard of the "headache excuse", right? Well, it's not always a lie. He might have thought you were feeling better from the painkillers. Just be truthful. He probably was being insensitive, but he's also not a mindreader. Sometimes you have to spell it out for them, like "Honey? Remember last year when you had that awful flu and you couldn't get out of bed for three days? Well, I didn't ask you to go bouncing around the bed with me, did I?" I'm the first one to admit that guys can be totally clueless, but we have to remember that they're not women...they don't catch the nonverbal cues very often. Next time just tell him your back hurts and to please dig out the heating pad.
2006-12-29 10:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by oj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol... you're likely going to get a buckload of answers... yes, absolutely. Ex-hubby once got me to stand in line at the bank the day I got out of the hospital after surgery. He knew it was bothering me to stand so long but it was ok by him! Some people are really not very sensitive to other people's pain... so yes, you probably needed to tell him you were not in the mood because of the pain. Don't expect him to read your mind.
2006-12-29 10:36:52 · answer #3 · answered by Debbie B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you dont speak up how will he ever hear you.
They cant do more than two things at once, so you have to explain everything, feelings, instructions, directions, the list is endless.
Dont ever lay there when you dont want, now make him work for you.
When he is done say your tired now and you turn over and go to sleep.
Actions sometimes speak louder than words.
Enjoy girl
2006-12-29 13:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you been sleeping with my husband? lol. At least yours got you painkillers and water. Mine would of said something like , I got something for that pain, with a snicker, YEA! I once had a husband that would have rubbed my back all night long without me even asking. My loss.
2006-12-29 10:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes.you need to tell him that and so much more. You also need to stop thinking he thinks just like women do. He does not. He is a fixer and when he did what he did he fixed it and was ready to move on. Women need to realize most men need training. We have not had good examples of being a great husband. To prove my point, ask your self to list 10 happily married couples then you must go and ask them.
2006-12-29 10:37:55 · answer #6 · answered by Roger W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I do this all the time to the missus.
Yeah- tell him you're not in the mood, or pretend to mast-rb-te and get him do the same.
He'll be well finished before you could say "RSI?"
He's calmed is frustables, seen the ol' minger and you both get some kip.
Loverley.
2006-12-30 11:14:20 · answer #7 · answered by Ministry of Camp Revivalism 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are different and you should be more aware than anyone on this one. Your man was thinking sex and had forgotten that quickly about your pain. This isn't something he did on purpose to make you angry, he simply can't help how he is. Please don't hold this against him as it will happen many more times. We should pick and choose our arguements and this one really isn't worth you being in more pain over. Thank you and GOD bless.
2006-12-29 10:34:27 · answer #8 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to tell him, he is the one that told you to go get in bed and he is the one that brought you the painkillers. Is he that much of an idiot?
Yes, my husband is the same way.
2006-12-29 10:33:34 · answer #9 · answered by Candy B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you should have given him some warm oil, and asked him to gently massage you. Let him do some work and give you some relief.
Maybe he was just turned on seeing you, lying there all sexy and vulnerable. And the messages were crossed.
2007-01-01 11:21:35 · answer #10 · answered by Molly D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋