How can I stop hurting?

Question

I have been involved with a man for a year and a half. It has been a very long, rough road. I have tried to end the relationship numerous times and he would never let me. He convinced me that we could make it through anything and I have finally started to believe him, now he wants to end it. I am miserable and I can't stop crying, it has been two days now. This isn't my first serious break up or anything like that, its just that I believed all of his words that he is going back on. How do I make it stop hurting so bad?

Answer 1

Keep at the top of your mind the reasons for all those times you wanted to break up. They were good and valid reasons for you but you let yourself be talked out of it.

You knew then that he was no good. If you would have looked at it with your intellect instead of your heart you would have broken up long ago.

Nothing hurts more than when someone you love proves to be deceitful. They have told you all you want to hear just to keep you but meant little of it.

Please keep that in mind. There may come a day that he will come back to you and say he is sorry he really didn't mean it.
DON'T BELIEVE HIM! More than likely he has another girl right now. If he looses her he may come back to you. The last thing you want is to be his default girl.

As hard as it is just remember what he was like and begin talking and be with your friends. They can help you through this. You don't deserve to be treated this way and you should never ever let anyone do it.

Answer 2

Honey, think how much more peaceful, happy and relaxed your life is going to be without all that turmoil... wouldn't you like to be able to just go through your days without worry, tension, panic and heartache?
It's fresh so it hurts really bad right now but if you can get through the first month, things will get so much better.
Take this time to fix up your house, paint some rooms, make some curtains, freshen up your space. Get a good feeling going in your home. Make it cozy, clean and sweet. And at night, cry if you need to for a while. Pamper yourself and baby yourself for a little while. Then get right back into arranging your life into one that makes you feel good instead of bad. Decide for yourself what you are going to allow into your life, your head, your eyes, ears and body. Deny anyone or anything that brings your down and makes you feel bad. It's a clean fresh start for you. Your heartache will heal, but you have to be the doctor.
Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You didn't mention what the rough parts were, but you did say the you wanted to end it and he WOULDN'T LET YOU?
That is "weak woman" code for I am controlled and don't take responsibility either.
Last thing you need right now is another man. You need friends and an activity to look forward to. Take a class, take karate. Do something that you might enjoy and look forward to with a friend(s).
We grieve over change, self worth and feeling loved more then we grieve over the person.
Love comes from your friends and family. Seek those the really love you, and do things to take your mind of the situation. Time and friends makes the pain go away.

Answer 4

Alcohol temporarily numbs the pain, it doesn't make it go away. You should sit at your house and cry and watch sad movies and cry more. Then, you should go out with a friend to dinner. Surround yourself with your friends and family- anything to take your mind off of the break up. I know it's hard right now, but things will get better. Take it one day at a time. Don't jump into a relationship to make this break up "go away" that'll only end up hurting you and the other person. Take your time in dealing with it. Good luck to you!

Answer 5

1. Get away from him so you can think. Go somewhere, anywhere else. Stay with a friend or relative. Just a change of scene will help.

2. Don't take his calls for a while. Don't make any. It's difficult. Just do it.

3. Go out with your friends but don't abuse them with endlessly talking about this. Go, keep quiet if you have to. Folks will want to be with you if you are pleasant and somewhat cheerful.

4. FOCUS on all the other things in your life that make you feel good. Everytime you slip, FOCUS.

5. Get a pet. It will take you out of yourself.

6. Exercise.

Repeat after me...

It's MY life. It's MY life. I do what I want in MY life.

Answer 6

It is going to be hard. I suffered through a woman constantly sheating on me because i loved HER KIDS so much. Now out of the relationship her kids and I still have a relationship and I let her move on to what she thought she had so good , and now she wishes she had the one that could have loved her forever over all the ones that love her for a night. It hurts, but it is more painful to try and make it work and to be the only one trying.

Answer 7

First, love yourself. Depending on your age, it appears that you haven't been out here for a while, but anyway. Tighten up, the world isn't over. Forget him, start dating again, get together with your girlfriends, go out, and meet other people. Don't sit at home crying over dude, the world is to big for that. Take up a hobby, join some type of club. Do something, don't just sit around, and pout.

Answer 8

I won't lie to you, this is going to be with you for a long time, a lot of times what the heart knows, the head forgets, sounds as though you've been terribly hard on yourself for something you really didn't do, in relationships, when that sacred trust is violated, it's not impossible , but dam'n hard to get back, and in this case I wouldn't try, TIME is the only real cure here, and there is only one thing I know of you that you can truely do to help yourself, find another,start over, move on,live on and learn to love again, it's human nature to fret over things we cannot control, take it as a lesson learned and this old saying fits perfect here "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me"!! GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 9

You said it yourself. You tried to end the relationship, but he "wouldn't let you." Well, he was a dumbass, it sounds like, and you should be thankful you can be rid of him. It sounds like you were just being used as a safety net for him anyway. To help get over it, look at the future and think of other guys that are out there that will treat you right.

Answer 10

that's tough and i feel for you i really do. i guess at the time that you wanted to break up with him he knew that,that's what you wanted to do so he convinced you that you guys could make it and then when you believed he came in for the kill and broke your heart. ii don't know what to say really. i know it wont be easy to take your mind off him, because you guys have been going out for a really long time. well you didn't think that you wouldn't cry now did you. i don't think so. you will be crying for over a week. just try yo take your mind off it i know it will be hard but try. don't stay inside the house and ponder on what you could have done. he's gone face it. it wont be easy for you . but frankly he wasn't thinking about your feelings when he left. he was thinking about his. and now he's gone i don't think he's crying and staying inside. have a night out with the girls show him that listen you're gone but i can still make it. talk to your girls about it listen to what they have to say,if they have any advice for you. it will be hard. but i think if you talk about it will be better. just talk about it. don't keep everything inside bottled up it's not good.