i am a 38 year old man deeply in love with a female. i was fed up of my stressed married life and proposed to this woman whos very nice and loving. my wife left me with my daughter and threatened me of criminal charges. i wanted my daughter so had to give up and bring both of them back. i have ditched my girl friend whom i love dearly. i am really feeling guilty, it was initially for the daughter and now for my love. kindly advise
2006-12-29 02:09:05 · 19 answers · asked by sonu 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WATEVER,U DONT FELL OF HER 1ST,THINK OF UR WIFE N daughter....ur duties n responsibilities who r depended in u....if u hav problemz than solve urslf........
2006-12-29 02:12:37 · answer #1 · answered by unlucky hand 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear friend, you need a lawyer!!
If somebody gets on you with criminal charges and you’re innocent, you should get a lawyer quickly... because if not, she will play with you whenever she feels that she has a problem with you or whenever she feels unsatisfied....
By the way, women can be very, very nasty when they get angry!! So, if you split up with your wife, then never ever for another women... or at least don’t tell her the truth.... because this is like an open war declaration!!!
Explain this girl what is happening at the moment and try to solve everything out by law and then get a divorce and when you are free you could marry this girl without any problem...
But first you should solve out this problem, because you have to think of your child and also you should start a new life "clean and properly".
If this girl really loves you, she will understand this situation and wait for you.
2006-12-29 02:55:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anita P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the best course for the child is really having mother and father together and your first duty is towards your daughter but if your wife and you are constantly fighting and cannot be at peace together, how can it be good for your daughter? I would certainly suggest you to get over the affair and try to find peace and lost love for your wife but in the end, if your life together does not work out, talk to your wife and try to make her understand that keeping your daughter away from you for always is not in the best interest of the child and you do not want to ruin her life because of what happened between you both. Perhaps, you can consult a lawyer before proceeding further on any course and work out a compromise where you can meet your daughter on weekends or other such arrangements can be worked out, in case your divorce your wife and marry your gf. That will improve her situation too from being the 'other' woman in your life.
2006-12-29 02:19:24 · answer #3 · answered by Smriti 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, you were having an affair while still married to your wife. Then you had the nerve to ask that woman to marry while you were still married and living with your wife and child? Now you are upset that you had to break up with the other woman in order to have a relationship with your daughter again?
What you need to feel guilty about is cheating on your wife and putting your daughter through that trauma. If you didn't want to be married anymore, you should have told your wife that, moved out and gotten a divorce!
And by asking this question, you still don't "get it". You are selfish and immature.
2006-12-29 02:15:51 · answer #4 · answered by Apple21 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OMG - yes your child should come first and not that i agree with you cheating on your spouse in the first place but what type of life will your child live seeing two parents who live together and our unhappy --- do you think that children cannot sense the tension. Sorry but maybe you and your child are better off without your wife -- Must have been something missing in the first place if you cheated on your wife. Criminal charges get a lawyer but sounds like you were worried that she had proof or a ground to stand on with that charge. So now you are staying in a relationship that must not make you happy so that you can show a child what total dysfunction is. good luck!!
2006-12-29 02:31:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing, after doing the very wrong thing. You might think this new woman of yours is great and wonderful, but after marrying her and being with her for a few years, she will turn into the wife you have now, with only minor differences. If your marriage is stressed, understand that you are 1/2 of that problem. You should try fixing it first. Relationships are relationships, everyone wants pretty much the same thing, and if you couldn't give whole heartily to one love, what makes you think you can give to another?
2006-12-29 02:15:35 · answer #6 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should feel guilty, what you did to your wife and daughter was wrong! If you truly loved your daughter you would not have hurt her Mother and her like you did. You acted out of pure selfishness. I think you should consider yourself very lucky you got your wife and daughter back, and would spend the rest of my time trying to make up for the pain you caused by being unfaithful! If you decide you do not want to stay with your wife, then do it right next time and get a divorce FIRST!!!
2006-12-29 02:15:37 · answer #7 · answered by wish I were 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, you made the right decision for the sake of your daughter.we call that sacrifice.it's normal for a married couple to have arguments or petty quarrels.now that your family is back why not sit down together and reflect those good memories you've shared.don't be judgemental because we are not perfect and we have our own weaknesses in life.be transparent to one another.what i mean is there should not be a hidden agenda.let's go back on your wedding day.you exchanged vows...wife is a helpmate.husband ought to love their wife as their own body.and the wife must respect her husband...for he is the head of the family.(Genesis 2:24 "therefore shall a man ...cleave unto his wife;and they shall be one flesh" the wife should attend to her husband's need...what i'm telling is both of you should know the role in the family.love,trust,honest,respect and a good and pleasant communication are some factors to build up a good relationship in marriage.i hope by this time you have sorted out your family problem.Take care and GOD bless!
2006-12-29 03:07:22 · answer #8 · answered by MACRENE PADASDAO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake was leaving your marriage for another woman. That's jumping from the frying pan into the fire. What criminal charges did she threaten you with? You can file for joint custody. Your wife is horrible for using your daughter. For cheating on her, the worst she can do (depending on where you live), is get alimony, not full custody. She would have to prove that you are not a fit parent. Good luck but for your daughter's sake, please don't get into another relationship immediately.
2006-12-29 02:15:22 · answer #9 · answered by Lynda M ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this has hapened to you because you had a friction or misunderstanding with your wife. from your words i understand you love your girl child more than anybody. it is a wise decision to bring back your wife. if you leave her she will be rejected by the society and as well as by you also. but your lover can marry some one else who can understand her feelings also. to love one is not a crime. but if you marry her cant help all the three of you. it will worsen your life. your wife get refined in future accepting her mistakes and she will also become a lovable one for you
2006-12-29 02:26:19 · answer #10 · answered by ayal p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you do not clearly specify criminal charges. sounds like your wife is going to use your daughter and every other means to get back at you or to get you back. the game is about to begin. please protect your daughter from the heartache and do what you need to do to be happy. it may take awhile before you can be with your love, but do it legally and protect your daughter. once you get seperated wife will file a restraining order so you cannot be around your love with your child til after divorce. that is almost 100% guaranteed. its going to be messy. but your happiness and your daughters future happiness depends on you to do what it takes to make your futures happy. life is to short. please do not do the rebound back and forth thing. that will mess everyone up.
2006-12-29 02:25:31 · answer #11 · answered by pam e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋