ok what is the deal with this?

Question

ok me and my ex were together 7 yrs lots of stuff happened, we split 10 mth ago, got talking again and got back together 2 mths ago, everything was going great then we had a little disagreement when she started giving me the cold shoulder again when i questioned it she said she wanted to end things again. i was back were i started i tried and tried for 8 mths to get er back then when i did i lost her immediatley through in my opion a few inacent things. since then i took on board her need for space and started all over again, now dont say its dead because i as a human being can tell its not but for some reason she just backs off again as soon as we have MOMENTS. i stayed xmas eve with our threee kids and she ended upjoining me on the sofa and we cuddled and had a passionate moment, i then stayed xmas day and she asked if i would like to join on new years day also. am i wrong for thinking we were trying again? only now she has called it off and said - i knew you would get the wrong idea

please only give constructive answers, i just want to know if im wasting my time or maybes does she need more time? and shall i just put up with this blown hot and cold? i really do love her as i expressed just 3 days ago and for the past 10 mths and i know she likes me still and think she loves me but she only said that once and that was 5 weeks ago. why does she keep going cold on me? we could have it all we have 3 kids also and no she is not seeing someone else.

and if i am to walk away how can u walk away from someone who you know and both know somethig is still there?

Answer 1

Sounds like she's playing games with you. I applaud you for wanting to try and make the relationship work again. But you need to talk with her and ask her about because what she's doing isn't right at all. It's hurting you, and she's playing with your emotions. I hope that things turn around for you soon.

Answer 2

I understand you have 3 kids. But really is there any real feelings on her part.You enjoy each others time.but i don't think you should spend cuddle time anymore. You clearly still have feelings.You guys share a sense of comfort for each other after all this time who wouldn't.But don't confuse it with hopes of being together. if you do want to be back together give her some space. Let her tell you with words that you will be together.But you can't keep breaking up. There is a bigger issue at hand. Your children. If you are confused about your relationship how do you think they must feel. Think about their feelings.If it's over. Then no more cuddling.It's normal to still have love for you ex. But I think she is just stringing you along because she knows your there, and your available. Trust me women will do that. Find someone else or just spend your time with your kids alone.You know that you don't want to be back in this emotional rollercoaster anymore. so make the right decision for your kids.If she has left once and then left again she will always think she can leave. That's not fair to u or your kids. Good luck.

Answer 3

Every relationship has its ups and downs, its natural.
You've given this girl plenty of space, and as far as I'm concerned, you're wasting time.
Sometimes with some relationships, when you break up the first time, you break up for a reason and that reason should be kept that way.
Of course your still gunna have feelings for her, and so is she, but that doesn't mean things are gunna work out. Just because you had a "passionate moment" doesn't mean you're gunna live happily ever after, hell no.
You both have broken up so many times that if you do get back together again it will just happen again and again and again and eventually, one of you will get seriously emotionally hurt.
You've got three kids, why make it so hard for them? If you two can't stay together because you have a MOMENT then its not gunna suddenly fix itself.
Just keep it cool. To be honest, it seems like your better off without her, unless its worth the effort? I don't know her so i can't decide on that.
Its up to you.

Answer 4

She sounds a bit spoiled to me. And, she may not "have" someone else...but, she is thinking about someone else, whether it be a random acquaintance her mind is not fully invested in this relationship. Sounds like you'v given her lots of chances to come around. No, you are right to assume that she is giving you clues that she wants more, but emotions are fleeting and change on a dime. It may have been b/c it was Christmas and she just wanted to cuddle. Or, she may truly want to be with you but has issues for sure. HERE'S WHAT I WOULD DO (Im a female) YOU NEED TO BACK OFF....WAY OFF. Visit the kids, take care of the kids, but don't treat her like she's your lover. Treat her like she's the mother of your kids and keep her at armslength. No matter what you're thinking now, IF she wants you she won't let you get away. Trust me. When we find something we like, we usually will defend it like it's our young in the wild. Good Luck

Answer 5

Ok you need to ask this woman what is going on!!! She can't just treat you like this and expect it not to hurt your feelings. Tell her you love her and you want to be together but also mention that if it is space etc that she needs then you can understand that but she'll have to talk to you about what she wants or needs from the relationship. At the minute she is just having things her way which is not the way relationships work. She said she knew you'd get the wrong idea...how can you not if she does not tell you what the right idea is!!!! talk to her and be completely honest. I hope everything get sorted and you are happy.

Answer 6

Sorry mate, I think you should back off. I do not think she knows herself what she wants. It is major tough one cos you got the kids but do you really want to just be someone in her life when she chooses - that will also mess the kids up. I would spend new year with her and the kids but after that I would stop staying over and just go to the house to collect the kids. If you cannot express your opinions or say what you feel without her going off on one then she needs some space to decide what she wants to do.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

wow, major head games.Sounds like you wants to know that she still has you . Don't be available for the MOMENTS and don't always be available when she has nothig else to do. You know some people will keep someone just close enough just in case they don't have anything else , because they don't want to end up with no one. And sometimes its because they don't want you to have anyone else. When she sees' that your not ready to jump when she calls, she might wonder what your doing.

Answer 9

Wow my heart goes out to you. Have you asked her to consider going to a counselor? I think if she is willing to go you may just get the truth out of her. She is not happy for some reason and you ve got to get her to open up to ya. And a counselor can help her do that.
I sure hope you guys can make it work, you sound like a great guy. Good luck

Answer 10

You've got three kids. The pair of you ought to be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves. You're both behaving like a couple of kids yourselves. Would it be too much to expect the pair of you to grow up and act like responsible parents? You have everything going for you.