Right now I am in a bad situation. I am in Iraq right now and I just found out that my wife was actually telling my cousin she wanted to sleep with him. She said she did not go through with it, but she did say she told him that she wanted to do it. What should I do in this situation.
2006-12-29 01:16:31 · 20 answers · asked by young grown man 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
as of this point she hasnt done anything,,you need to ask her why she felt or feels this way,,is she very lonely,is your cousin very much like you and that hurts her,,people say and do stupid things but when they first start thinking thoughts such as this there is a reason,,,find out what it is! some women cope better than others if the husband isnt there for long periods,,sometimes it is nothing more than a lack of the small things,,a smile,,a cuddle,a cup of tea made for you after a tough day,,,these things when not there, but deep down you know you want them are missed greatly.talk to her,she was honest enough to admit it,,but she only admitted to thinking about it,,she is a woman with needs on hold.
2006-12-29 01:38:33 · answer #1 · answered by lex 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a bad situation. Unfortunately not much you are able to do from where you are right now. Have someone you trust back home to find out what is really going on? Who told you that she wanted to sleep with your cousin - her, your cousin, or someone else? Do you trust that person?
I'm sorry for what you are going through.
2006-12-29 09:21:33 · answer #2 · answered by T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have a very long talk to her.
She sounds like she would sleep with someone else if the opportunity came along. You don't just go and tell someone you want to sleep with them unless you are serious about it.
Ask her why she wants to sleep with other people. Is it because you are not there? or are there problems in the relationship? If it is just because you are not there, there is always talking dirty on the phone or buying her some toys to use when she is alone. If it is because there are problems, then you need to work them out ASAP, otherwise you might as well start looking for a divorce lawyer.
2006-12-29 09:21:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anna K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for serving. Only you can decide what to do in that situation. Do you trust her? Do you want it to work? She just asked your cousin did she actually do it with anyone else. If you ask her about it do you think she will answer you truthfully? It's a lot to deal with. However, you have too many unanswered questions to decide what to do in the situation that you're in. I hope it works out the way you want it to. Best of luck always.
2006-12-29 09:37:56 · answer #4 · answered by ugogirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely have a tough situation.
I'm thinking, just like some others, that she is lonely with you not being home and serving our country. I just think it was just a lapse of judgement on her part but by NO means does that mean she doesn't love you. Yes, write to her more often, make the phone calls and when you get home, go away for a week, just you and her, for a romantic rendezvous.
Once she sees you home and safe, she's going to feel VERY guilty for thinking what she was thinking....just confront her and reassure that everything will be alright.
Be safe out there.
2006-12-29 09:30:57 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first off, this is a horrible situation to be in and I'm sorry you have to go through it. Unfortunately, your wife doesn't appreciate you going to Iraq and fighting for America, it shows a lot of unfaithfulness, distrust, and disloyalness on her part. LEAVE her, she will learn where she went wrong. She shouldn't even be THINKING about being with someone besides you. This is called ADULTERY. I guess she lied when you guys shared vows on your wedding day. I am ashamed for her. You need to make some changes in your life when you return to America. Be Safe in Iraq! God Bless!
2006-12-29 09:22:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How much do you trust your cousin? She's lonely cause you're over there, and she's only human...at least she's telling you about it, trying to deal with it, cope with it.
If she happens to have that human moment while your away, will you still want her? Or, can you forgive? Because whatever happens, there's not much you can do about it where you are. The only thing you can do is pray...pray for God to give her the strength she needs. That's all anyone can do.
2006-12-29 09:25:30 · answer #7 · answered by ndngrlz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, the loneliness and desperation got to her. Good for him for being honest with you. She may have just had a moment of weakness if all was well with the relationship before you left. You should confront her, but also be there for her. You know what it's like to be lonely, too. Point here is she ALMOST but didn't. Call her if you can, send home more letters, tell her how much you miss and care for her. MEN fail to realize how easy it truly is to keep us females "in love" with them, but first they have to try. Best Wishes, and thanks for serving for me and my country.
2006-12-29 09:21:18 · answer #8 · answered by Hear2Help 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where is her honor and integrity?one never quite knows what to do here, depends on how much u love her, and if u want to work on the marriage. people can't really tell u what to do, pray about it, hopefully it will all work out for the best, either way. there are so many options here, have u asked her about it,or are u going by here say.
2006-12-29 09:39:30 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not much you can do until you get back and talk to her in person.
Thinking / talking about cheating are not the same as actually cheating so don't over-react, even thought it is a bad sign.
2006-12-29 09:22:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋