What advice do you have for women who feel that their husband's infidelity was their fault.?

Answer 1

Give yourself some time to get over the shock and pain of the betrayal. I also took on 100% blame and worked hard at becoming a "better wife." But once I could really see through the pain again, it turned out that I was a good wife and he was just a lying, cheating, unappreciative husband. He's now my ex and I'm now happily married to a real man. So, give yourself time. You're in pain and I understand the blinding hurt. You'll see clearly again someday and then you'll know that when someone has an affair and destroys trust - then you'll realize who the blame belongs to. And it won't be you.

Answer 2

from my own experience thats almost a natural response. What did I do or say for him to have done this to me? wasnt I sexy enough, good enough person? and a whole mess of other evils that the mind can project to a person in this predicament. First off if you had a gun to his head then its your fault ,otherwise we cannot make anyone do anything they do not want or need to do
men and women as I recall still have free will and some excercise it knowing what the costs are. Some of us think that loveing someone with all your heart is a bad thing (its my fault) no its not when you give your husband your love and he cheats on you its on him. the love that you gave was not wasted. If they are not honest enough to say to their mate we have a problem and try to fix it as a couple rather than cheat its the cheaters fault and no one else. My advice is to work on your self. in every aspect of the word, look at yourself everyday as beautiful the days you feel low get all dolled up and do something for you that matters. compliment yourself and get those you to balme demons out of your head because its not your fault.

Answer 3

A cheater always has the choice whether to cheat or not. If they cheat, they made that decision knowing it was wrong, no matter what the circumstances. Most cheaters will blame the spouse, but in reality they are just trying to justify what they did, because they know in their heart it was wrong. They may even be trying to convince themselves that they were justified.

I am a man, but when my wife cheated on me and ended our marriage, I saw a counselor. The counselor helped me understand that there was little I could have done to avoid the situation. Cheaters look for excuses to cheat in most cases. The person that is cheated on is in the same marriage, in the exact same relationship as the cheater. If it was really a problem between the to people, they would both be cheating.

We each make our own choices for our own reasons. The cheater made the wrong choice. He is the one that is in the wrong and there is no moral excuse for it. The victim is not the problem, rather the decision making ability of the cheater.

Answer 4

You need to realize that the person that cheated will make ANY excuse to you to make you believe that their cheating was justifiable. When really there is no valid excuse.

You also need to realize that your sig. other made the CHOICE to cheat. Even if they were pissed, unhappy, etc. they could still have done the honorable thing and break-up with you before going after someone else or avoided temptation.

Cheating really has nothing to do with the person that was cheated on. It all lies with the fact that the cheater cannot avoid temptation, has no self control, and has no consideration for anyone accept themself. Kind of like a real sociopath.

My last bit of advice: IMMEDIATELY break-up with a cheater. The old saying is true, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." Plus, even if you try to work things out you will always have this doubt in your mind that your sig. other will go out and cheat again. It will haunt you. Don't torture yourself like that.

Answer 5

It's not your fault. Been there got the blame. Hon he would have done it no matter what. I got the blame, took the blame, made the changes and he still went looking. Some men just can't be faithful. Neither can some women but that isn't the question here. Remember that as long as you are the best you that you can be you are ok. He is the one that was wrong. If he's blaming you hon that's abuse. Get out now.

Answer 6

It is not the woman's fault if a spouse cheats. Men like to pass the blame that way, but it is incorrect. It doesn't matter how bad a marriage gets....if you said the vows you promised to be faithful. If he was unhappy he should have communicated that and tried to work it out. Or, if things were that bad he should have just not cheated on her and gotten a divorce.

Answer 7

Marriage prepared or not calls for further intimacy than what you've been giving him. At 2 years you should nevertheless be contained in the honeymoon area a minimum of three or extra cases per week. Get the e book about the Karma Sutra, study extra about sex along with your better 0.5 to make one yet another chuffed, content & fulfilled. besides as couples / marriage counseling may assist you both. strong success.

Answer 8

We are told in 1 Timothy that a man is to love his wife as himself. If your husband was unfaithful HE WAS AT FAULT! You are to love, honor, and obey your husband. You can not be held accountable for his actions beyond this. Whether you forgive him must be your choice. Begin by finding a non-denominational group of Christians in your area and start a Bible Study with them. You and your husband should do this together if possible. GOD can heal all wounds and mend broken hearts. I wish you well.
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Answer 9

I really don't see how a man's infidelity can be a woman's fault. Only if she is holding a gun to his head and saying "Do it, or I am going to shoot you!" only then, it can be her fault. In all other cases, it was his choice and his decision.

Answer 10

never feel like it is your fault! It will eat you away if you let it. Infedility on either a woman or a man has nothing to do with there partner, you can drive him tehre all you want but he has to make the choice of actually doing it. When you took your vows you both promised to love and cherish eachother and no one else, so he is at fault.