Im not going to the funeral because i think he should be able to morn in peace without thinking about our problems to. i knew his brother rather well, i was in the hospital after the car accident...am i wrong for not going or right for respecting his need to do this in peace?
2006-12-29 01:03:25 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You're right - Stay away from the funeral. No need to upset everyone there and yourself as well. If you want, send a card expresssing your sorrow.
2006-12-29 01:07:13 · answer #1 · answered by kachina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are making the right decision by taking his feelings into consideration. He is mourning his brother and seeing you might stir up anger during this time when his emotions are out of whack. I think you should send flowers and a card to the funeral home but stay away. This way he knows you're thinking of him and his family during this time but he can still focus on the loss of his brother without dealing with drama of any sort.
2006-12-29 01:08:01 · answer #2 · answered by lonestarlady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are correct not to go. I saw a very similar situation at a memorial service a few years back, and while I admired the woman for going and was personally glad to see her, I could see that it was really a distraction for the family.
That said, doing something like writing a personal note of condolence and also explaining that you wanted to be there but felt it might be an unneccessary distraction would probably go a long way.
2006-12-29 01:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by mullah robertson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go to the funeral out of respect for the deceased. If you were friends with the deceased you go to pay your respect. Don't worry about the ex. The Ex will get over you being there but at least you payed your respects.
2006-12-29 01:06:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right. Send flowers. If you need to go sign the family and friends book and leave. Talk to the funeral director via phone first. They will assure no one is there when you are.
2006-12-29 01:30:38 · answer #5 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the break up part..he is under a butt load of stress..ask him if he'd like you to go to the funeral with him. you may think that not going is giving him time alone and peace, but that may be the last thing he needs. he needs people, friends, loved ones around him now also..he'll mourn in his own time.
2006-12-29 01:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to the funeral. Just sit on the other side of the church (or wherever it will be) to the ex.
If you were close to him, then you should be at the funeral, as it is part of your grieving process.
Stuff what the ex thinks. Go to the funeral.
2006-12-29 01:17:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anna K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call him and ask him if he would be upset if you attended the funeral? If he says you can go then do so. Give your condolances to the parents but don't act like a member of the family, act like a friend.
2006-12-29 01:08:52 · answer #8 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go to the funeral at the last minute, you can set in the back.Family members should be in the front.When its over,just leave,You don't need to contact him.
2006-12-29 01:08:25 · answer #9 · answered by xphxpd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tough one! but definitely send some flowers and a card making sure your ex knows you are sorry for his loss. because no matter how the two of you feel about your relationship you probably are very sorry about his brother passing away.
2006-12-29 01:08:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋