Yesterday night, after almost 3 days of thinking I decided to break up with my (8 months) boyfriend. Even when we like each other a lot and I think we love each other, for me it is impossible to go on. I can't get what I need out of the relationship especially from him. As I write this question I feel my heart pounding really fast... Anyhow my question is, I still like this guy, I care A LOT for him, and obviously what my heart is screaming to take him back... Still, doing that is not going to solve anything, I will not fix anything specially if I'm the one going back to his arm... So I need to kind of move on or at least find a way to stop thinking on him... I need to do it because it really hurt.
Any ideas?.
2006-12-29 00:50:03 · 15 answers · asked by Mr Cuban 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
gebobs – No, there is nobody else. I believe I need to take some time before start dating again (In fact I feel a little scared about it). May be, I need to give me some time, time to get to know me better (I am not use to be single).
2006-12-29 01:40:45 · update #1
Robbie – Thank you for your answer. The reason I felt we needed to break up is because we have gone trough the same things (issues or problems) over and over. Each time we talked he agreed that he (we) are going to work it out but it just won’t happen… we stay fine for a couple of weeks and then the same things hit us again… and each time, hurt me more and more getting to the point to start lowering my self-steam. Trust me, it was not easy to make the decision and is even harder to keep it.
I was willing (in fact I did) to modified certain things from my behavior and some ways of thinking… (every serious relationship leads to that) but they are others that I just can’t change, they are part of who I am as a person; When his time to cope with this thing from me comes, he takes no action.
2006-12-29 02:25:21 · update #2
Any relationship takes ALOT of work from both parties. The one line in your post that sticks out is, "I can't get what I need out of the relationship especially from him." This can mean one of a couple things. A.) He's not working to support the relationship, or B.) you expect too much of the relationship. Either way, if it's not working, it's best to move on and it's better to find this out after 8 months rather than 8 years. Good luck, the pain will subside over time and hopefully soon the relationship with the man of your dreams that you are seeking will come to you.
2006-12-29 01:04:08 · answer #1 · answered by Murazor 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like you made the right decision in moving on and you will find someone right for you whne your ready. I would say after a break up is the perfect time to spend time on yourself. Learn more about yourself, find a new hobbie, focus more on work and friends, try something you were scared to do before. Just grow as a person and a better person comes when your ready
2006-12-29 14:55:35 · answer #2 · answered by W.E.S. 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Breaking up is hard to do, no matter which end you are on, either giving or receiving a breakup is a death of a relationship and will be grieved.
As in any death you need the awakening phase. You made the decision for reasons unknow to us as you have elected to disclose this information. Within your reasons of your mind you felt that you needed to end it.
Wow, it is hard to give advice as you say love but had to end the relationship.
Best recommendation. move forward as you choose and seek professional help...
2006-12-29 08:57:11 · answer #3 · answered by southernboy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Here are a few easy steps:
1. Listen to Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here.
2. Take a long, nice bath and light some candles
3. Stay calm, and get some exercize.
4. Indulge yourself (I don't mean masturbate).
5. Drink Tea
* HUGS :D
Good luck!
2006-12-29 08:54:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What you forgot to mention in fact is:why you felt it was needed to break up with him.You still care about him:is it that you don't love him no more.Because that happened to me once too.
We were ion love ,but I FELL OUT OF LOVE:LIKE WE DID NOT SHARE STUFF ANYMORE AND GREW FURTHER AND FURTHER APART,YOU CARE ABOUT THAT PERSON,TOLERATE HIM AROUND YOU,BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!.The love that you once felt is gone.
I am only guessing here:i might make a fool of myself,but you did not supply enough information.I can feel that you are very upset:if you need to talk to an independent honest open minded person,you are allowed to use my messenger.But only to talk,About anything.It is ok to sidetrack your mind a bit.
You need rest in your head,obviously.
I wish you strength to get through this:it takes time.
Greetings:Rob.
I live on the other side of the world,have a bf,so I am not hitting on you anyway.Mind that if you live in the USA,that our difference in time is +7hours.1200am over there is 1900pm here.
2006-12-29 10:02:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try to have as little contact with him as possible (none is preferable). Eventually you will get over this and move on. If you run into him or talk to him in about 6 months from now, it probably wouldn't be painful for you. Its true-time heals. The heart is an odd critter indeed!
2006-12-29 09:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by tombollocks 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if you still care about the guy then why break it off? think about the reasons you had...and naturally its going to hurt and suck if it was someone you cared for. The only way its not going to hurt is if it was someone you didnt care for anymore. Its a cliche but time does heal wounds like this. Jumpi into work or a hobby to help take your mind off these things until its easier.
2006-12-29 08:54:31 · answer #7 · answered by elviselway 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's really hard but i think you have to let him go. People have to learn how to close doors, turn the page that way something better will come for you. It could be a little hard and painful at first but then you'll get the reward.
2006-12-29 08:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by ddcobain 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, you need to move on. It will hurt for a while, but eventually you will find yourself singing in the shower again. Best wishes.
2006-12-29 09:00:49 · answer #9 · answered by Kedar 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ending a relationship is never easy, but you did the right thing.
My suggestion is to seek counseling and treatment for homosexuality. You will find a more fulfilling life free from this affliction.
You obviously care for him, that is apart of human nature. You will go through denial, bargaining, anger, sadness and finally some degree of acceptance that it is over. It's like giving-up a piece of yourself.
All of this will pass in time. Please seeking treatment for your affliction.
2006-12-29 10:32:41 · answer #10 · answered by InTROLLigent 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋