We have been married for fourteen years (most of them pretty good), and we have never owned our own home. My job takes a lot of time and when we needed to get a new apt (for various reasons), I always found a good deal (basically since she didn't really bother very much). During those times though, it took a bit of time from my work which I didn't like very much.
Recently we had a big fight (usually we don't fight) where she expressed the idea of "why haven't I got her a house yet" and she was pretty upset. I thought to myself, "why is it my job?" and if it is "what are the woman jobs?"
2006-12-28 23:23:37 · 13 answers · asked by Harlan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We both we work, but she actually makes more money than I do (currently it used to be the other way around). My job does take more actual time though.
2006-12-28 23:40:59 · update #1
She wants a house to take away from you in a divorce
2006-12-28 23:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anarchy99 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
in my mind both people should buy the house. It is the responsibility of both people to buy the house. Even if she doesnt work that doesnt mean she cant help. it sounds like the best thing you can do is suggest to her that it would really get the ball moving if she ran around getting the paperwork and all that stuff for you so you could do it when you get home etc.
If she doesnt have a job then her woman jobs (as you call them) are to keep the house clean and so forth, just as they would be your jobs if she worked and you didnt. If she does work then she should be 50/50 with you all the way. And for christs sake after 14 yrs you should know what each of you expects from the other if not then you need to sit down and talk!!
2006-12-29 07:34:01 · answer #2 · answered by bonfireheat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she makes more money than you but also has more time, then she should be very involved in the house buying process since its mostly an investment of her money anyway. Also she has more time to do some of the legwork involved.
On the other hand, if she isn't already doing some of this, then she probably has these ideas from something she got when she was growing up and seems like she has some old fashioned ideas about who's job is what. Or maybe she trusts you to take care of those kinds of important things more than herself.
2006-12-29 12:32:10 · answer #3 · answered by ♫ giD∑■η ♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Why haven't we talked about this before?" would be a good question to start off with. Marriage is 50/50 (funny divorce doesn't seem to work out that way) - sometimes one of the partners pulls more than 50% but it should level out. If you are both approaching your marriage on a 50/50 basis - then the house thing is just another equal partnership. Talk to her about it and start looking for a house together.
2006-12-29 07:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something about this doesn't sound right... She needs to grow up and realize that a marriage is a total partnership. The both of you need to sit down and work out a plan to get whatever it takes to get that house. and then the both of you need to stick to it.
That plan needs to be an equal sharing of the work. if you have separate money then she needs to wake up and smell the coffee.
2006-12-29 08:09:50 · answer #5 · answered by a1tommyL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not totally the man's job, it is an equal thing
both should earn money together to support the family though the traditional way is the man to do everything but one person's income seldom can cover up the whole family
if one is enough then the wife need not have to work then the man can take up the responsibility to feed the whole family
2006-12-29 07:28:35 · answer #6 · answered by starapproximate 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should split the costs. You're both going to be living there, so why not take equal responsibility right off the bat?
2006-12-29 11:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is the mans job to buy the house.
If the woman also works than it is a mutual effort.
2006-12-29 07:27:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I owned our home before I even met my husband. I don't think it's a man/woman thing, it's a personality thing. In your case, it sounds like a lack of communication thing. Good luck.
2006-12-29 07:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by -- 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Who is the home maker?, If you want your wife to be the one better buy her a house.
2006-12-29 07:27:43 · answer #10 · answered by jnanp2001 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋