Is it wrong to resent my parents?

Question

First off, I'm an adult (by age if nothing else), so I'm a not tempermental teenager (not to discount their emotions). I haven't had an easy relationship with my parents, and I accept my share of the responsibility for that, but I don't think my anger toward them is a result of any specific incident(s). Everytime I see them, I just feel this deep-seated frustration about why they brought me into the world. It seems that life is just a struggle; exhaustion, depression, judgment, and loneliness. Time doesn't seem to be helping, either. I'm just wondering if others share a similar feeling toward their parents.

Answer 1

The reason you are here? Your parents got the basics of sexual intercourse right. Wither they wanted to or not is their business. If not you someone else would have been made. As for the "life is just a struggle" part, yeah for most of us it is. Life is what you make of it. You don't like your life? Change your environment. You become a product of your environment. Work to change it. When you find a place in life where you're happier, you probably won't resent your parents as much. The specific incident your angry at your parents for (it seems) is your birth. Change your life style to where your happier and glad your alive. Until then, talk to good friends or a good psychologist about how you feel before you go and do something stupid like commit suicide.

Answer 2

You need to have a reason for these feelings. In general, your parents should have done a lot more good for you than bad. If you had negligent or abusive parents, that's another thing.

It sounds like you are attempting to blame your parents for your current situation. First, you can try to improve your situation yourself. Second, you should see if you have problems with depression, anxiety etc. This can easily be cured with pills - and you'll feel a *lot* better.

You should talk to at least one of your parents (the one you are closer to) and discuss how you feel and what you can do to make it better. You might want to seek outside help as well - from a shrink etc.

But - in general, everyone resents their parents a little bit. I mean, I love my parents and would be hard pressed to find a better set, but still, I'm mad at them for a few things --- that's part of any relationship. However, you should attempt to solve every problem that severely affects your life.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Listening to people trash out parents in general all your life didn't help I'm sure. Society will never admit nor apologize to children for this-everybody is out for their own these days. Obviously you feel disconnected from your roots and that is so sad but there is a solution to this. IMO you could try searching your soul and pray about it in complete silence...alone with God and try and be as specific as you can while praying. "loneliness" is not fun and time, well, we are only here on this earth for a very short time.... is it possible that your parents are lonely as well? If so the issue is not "time"...it could be what a lot of people suffer with and that's pride and pride can tare people's lives into shreds if people allow it. Take care.

Answer 4

I'm 25, and also struggling through life. Social things are the biggest problem. I've always been single. My mom beat the crap outta me as a child. She said things to me that were worse than any stranger ever said to me. I fantasize about one day getting married, and sending her a photo album of the whole wedding, a wedding she didn't get invited to, but that's barring some miracle that I can overcome the trauma she created in me. Obviously, I'm still suffering the effects of how terribly she treated me, and so I resent her. So, no, you're not alone. I do know someone who resents his parents, but he has a normal life and a normal circle of friends, has been on dates, has experienced romance, etc. I told him that obviously his parents are doing something right, since he has become a normal adult with confidence and esteem. He didn't say anything in response, but that is the point. It all depends on how much you can viably blame on them. That's in the eye of the beholder.

Answer 5

You may not be a teenager, but you are stuck in the BLAMING stage! And I hope you grow out of it no matter how mature you seem to think you are. If you blame your parents, then blame THEIR parents and then THEIR parents....all the way through the
whole cemetery! Life can stink. It's how you handle it that's
important. Remember that old saying? When the person says they never asked to be born, the parents tell them that if they HAD they would have been turned down! You are depressed Bud. Get some good therapy!

Answer 6

amen to you. but keeping yourself busy with other things will make a big difference. if you are living with your parents, find a way to live in a separate house. that way, you won't have to feel your frustations and loneliness everytime you see them.

time, as you said, don't help. then don't see them, but still keep in touch once in a while. remember that it's because of them that you are strong and you can prove that you are better than them.

Answer 7

An adult who still feels that way should get counseling to help sort things out. Yes others do feel that way but it is not a normal way to feel. (yours seems to be a liitle above the norm)

Answer 8

Sounds to me like you need to see a therapist for depression. If all you do is vent at the therapist , it will be an improvement.

Answer 9

I don't think it's wrong..I mean truly if you KNOW that you resent them because you just do and it's not because of anything that happened..its just their overall..effect on you back then and now..i mean, i think it's okay.

Answer 10

'Wrong' is judgmental - so no. But it is wholly dysfunctional.