Does the pain ever go away?

Question

The pain of divorce i mean. I'm not divorced yet but I'm a United States Marine. I was gone training at infantry school. I came back to discover that my wife had cheated on me with 2 guys that i know of. But thats not the worst part. I gave her my debit card so that her and the son she has Matthew could have money for bills and everything. Which left me half the time damn near starving while i was there. She used me and i've been used like that all of my life. Her reason for using my money mainly for gas so she could go cheat on me was that she didn't love me anymore. Which i think is pure bullshit. Another reason was that i wasn't there. Okay. My job takes me away alot i know but damn. Hell, i'm currently getting a discharge because i knew she was lonely. But now i'm kinda screwed cuz shes gone and i might be out of luck. Does the pain of this ever really go away. Because i feel that my soul is dying. I really love her. Even after all she did to me. Am i an idiot for doing so?

Answer 1

Devildog. Drop the Suzie Rottencrotch, baggage and all, and get on with your life.

Answer 2

The pain will not completely go away but you will grow accustomed to it and it will become justa dull ache that reallly doesn't bother you much.
Kinda like on really big fitness workout, ya get sore and you know you're still sore but after a while you just keep going and then it's almost not there and at the end of it you feel good for what you've accomplished.
What you'll acomplish in this case is surviving it and emerging a successful man .
P.S. if you love the life of a marine don't give it up.
I gave up being a lifeguard for a woman but years later realised my mistake and gave up the woman to go back to lifeguarding. 7 years of life gone but I'm getting back on my feet slowly and am proud of how I'm doing. (and yes she took the house and the money and the car etc. etc. etc.)
You'll get there mate, just focus on the things that you DO like and that give YOU something in return.

Answer 3

Stop chasing after something that is long gone.
Do yourself a favor and find someone that will love and respect you.
The pain will go away in time. All you have to do is keep yourself busy. Find a hobby, go back to school, take some kind of class, go out with friends, go on a single cruise. Throw yourself into work. Anything but this so-called woman.
Stop being a fool.
If she really cared she would of stood by you, no matter what.

Answer 4

Hi, First, I want to say I am very sorry you have been hurt in this way. The pain will eventually subside, but you have to work and help it go away. End all dealings with this woman, stay away from her, change your phone number, address, etc. so she does not have them and then keep yourself busy. Try not to be alone because when we are alone we think too much. Surround yourself with positive people and find a hobby or past time you can be passionate about to keep your mind busy. Don't be bitter or angry as this gives her power. Take your power back and go on with life. Good Luck!

Answer 5

Yes the pain will go away if you have to get a divorce. It just takes some time is all. By the way, I'm sorry to change the subject, but you aren't suppost to swear on yahoo answers. If enough people keep breaking these rules, you may not be able to ask these questions for long.

Answer 6

You are only an idiot if you do not get yourself some therapy!!! I am not saying that as an insult, but listen to yourself! You admitted that you have allowed yourself to be used your entire life. So, my suggestion to you would be to get control of the situation! There are reasons for your insecurities...and, unless you deal with the issues that are causing you to accept others to use you...you will, no doubt continue to be the victim! Nobody can treat you badly, use you, or anything else that hurts you unless you allow it! You claim to love someone that has lied, cheated, stolen and totally disrespected you...and, all while you are defending our country! That should tell you that this person you claim to love...is a really rotten person! Stop allowing this woman, or anyone, else to use you! As soon as you learn to love yourself, and have the self-respect to no longer accept anyone treating you so badly...then,and, only then, will the pain go away! Believe, in yourself! You deserve to be in a faithful, loving, honest and respectable relationship! Do yourself a favor...get rid of the cheater! Don't get involved with anyone else until you get in touch with you!

Answer 7

I'm divorced. Then, because I have shared custody of my beautiful children, my next relationship failed after over a year because the girlfriend suddenly realized I had responsibilities with my kids. The pain will never go away, but it will SUBSIDE AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE with someone new, whom, miraculously, you will be able to once again love with your whole heart and soul.
I know the pain, I still feel it myself. But I know that once you find someone who DESERVES you and respects you, it will be like a whole new life you've begun. Now I know you must feel like you've been used, hurt, your soul has been stung and your spirit, zest for life, lost deep in quicksand as you try to navigate your way out of this mud. Better days are ahead, Remember your worth -- and you must respect yourself and do not let anyone use you.

Answer 8

honey there are plenty of fish in the sea!! I know the pain u are feeling right now, been there, done that. Even though it is tough right now, time really does heal all wounds. Just get busy with other things and try not to think so much about it. Go out with your friends and forget her, she's not worth your time and tears. Good Luck

Answer 9

I was in basic training at fort Bening when the same thing happened 2 me. This girl couldn't even wait 4 months 4 me 2 get back. Yeah she cheated on me, and yes i felt like I was being consumed by it, "crawling in my skin this wounds they will not heal" the pain doesn't go away, but you can learn from this not 2 do it again, "but in the end it doesn't even matter". Dump her!!!

Answer 10

Love is sick. You are twisted up inside and all she cares about is what you did wasn't enough. Screw her, you are a Marine who defends our country and she wants to tell you it's your fault you didn't give her and her son enough? You are better off without someone so selfish. I wish you the very best and I hope you find someone who knows how much you do. Re-evaluate getting discharged to go home to a soul sucking *****. You are better than that!

Answer 11

You can't help what you feel.

No, the pain doesn't go away. I've been divorced for 3 years now (my husband left me for an older woman because she was what I was "supposed to have become") after being married for 12 years and I am still bitter.