I need lots of answers about my Girl?

Question

What should I do???
I am a really caring guy and there is this girl I like, We are both sophmores and have known each other a long time and we both know we like each other. She is mostly "anti touch " she was when I met her and for alittle while after. but we have grown closer and i really like her, but I think she will not like to hold hands or hug, and I respect her so I don't. even though I am a more touchy kind of guy. and I mean with everybody I always love hugs any time from most anyone.SO WHAT SHOULD i DO TO GROW CLOSTER IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. and I want mature answers, and please do not mention sex I am saving that for marraige.

Answer 1

Have you talked to her? I know it sounds like simple advice, but it may work.

I was abused as a child and now its hard for me to accept physical contact unless i REALLY trust someone. I know other people with similar issues.

Take things really slow. Make sure you have a solid friendship and she can trust you. Don't judge her. Don't take things personally. If she's not "touchy" there's probably some other 'walls' (emotional, etc) she's got which means she's got a bit of stuff to work through.

Be her friend. Be her confidant. Don't try to "fix" things for her. Just be there for her. Let her know you're interested in being "more than friends" in whatever capacity she needs.

If she doesn't want to be too physical, respect that. But if she's 100% anti-touch, let her knonw, politely, that its hard for you to express your feelings w/o at least being able to hold her hand or hug her occassionally. Maybe with you both compromising, you can meet in the middle!! Good luck and email if you have questions. :)

Answer 2

I have had the same problem before. What you could do is more talking. Go on the type of dates that would allow you to talk to her a lot, like a coffee shop for example, or something along those lines. Eventually as you two get closer and farther along in your relationship, you will start to get more intimate, more hugs/holding hands/kiss whatever. Spoil her, ya know, make her feel that you care, and make sure you let her know that verbally as well. Of course, everyone woks differently. What may help someone may not help someone else. I don't know either of you, so I'm just giving you advice based on my experiences. Anyway, Good luck.

Answer 3

UMM...the only thing I can think of would be to gain more of her trust, they're might be other reasons why she's "anti-touch"..and then perhaps you can go from there and hopefully this will bring you closer. Make sure to still give her the space she needs because the last thing you want to do is scare her away.
I don't know if this will help, but good luck and I wish you the best!!

Answer 4

The question is then, does she like you? Does she know that you like her? If both of you like each other and the feelings are mutual, just talk to her and tell her that you would love to invite her over for a movie and snuggle on the couch. Keep it low key to start, but a lot of people just don't like public displays of affection so that's something you might want to talk about with her. The best this is being honest and keeping the lines of communication open.

Best wishes! :0))

Answer 5

She may have been seriously hurt or physcally or sexually abused as a child. If you really like her you need to talk this out with her. If she really likes you she iwll work it out. My husband likes touch but I was abused as a child and the only touch I got was slaps or men abusing me for their pleasure so when I was touched as an adult I felt it meant a man wants sex and to use me and i am nothing more than a sex toy to him. I realise this isn't the message your trying to convey but when we go thru this stuff the trust factor is very thin. You need to talk it out and say hey when I touch you it isn't a sexual thing it's becuase I love you and want to touch you as a contact thing. Don't take advantage of it. When she feels safe let her lead and ask her. Communication and honesty is the key to any good relationship.

Answer 6

first of all..u got my respect saying you're saving sex for marriage =)

now for ur question..why don't you ask her...don't pressure her (am sure u won't)..but just tell her..and you felt she's embarrased or she's holding words back so she won't let you down...tell her it's ok you understand and you totally respect that with a sweet smile on your face =)

if i was "anti-touch" and my bf did that i'll probably hug him..or at least hold his hand =)

good luck!
and don't even think about ruining the whole thing just because of this =)

Answer 7

I'm pretty anti-touch. I tend to slap people's hands if they try and touch me. "No touch. Don't pollute my personal space."
But I know I'd love a hug from the guy I like. Hrm.
Maybe this girl's the same?
Just try to initiate physical contact slowly...
Like start with a brush of the hand or something and work your way up to hugs & hand holding.

Answer 8

properly that would not unavoidably mean she's thinking each now and then it truly is in simple terms that she's speaking to different ppl. like she starts off typing something on your window yet then stops to go variety in her acquaintances window etc etc, so it truly is not that she's thinking, and what's incorrect if she is thinking? what are you asserting to her? perhaps you're making her uncomrfortable i do no longer understand. i'm lacking some counsel like as an occasion what you're asserting to her. perhaps she has a disability and it takes her longer than others to respond.

Answer 9

ohhhhhhh you sweet heart!!! This is special. Are you sure about this because if you are a touchy guy is she going to get jealous if you are hugging other girls. if you really like her just understand her and deal with it. try and find aother way to get close to her like write little notes to her to make her smile or smell her hair or kiss her had before saying goodbye. once she sees these suttle things she may come around

Answer 10

It depends on why she has this aversion to physical contact. How's her relationship with her father?
Have you met her family ... are they similar to your own in regards to physical affection. She may have been raised differently and is not accustomed to a lot of physical contact or having her personal space invaded.
Are you being a space invader?