I just found out my BF has been cheating on me. Also, I just found out I am 4 weeks pregnant. Do I keep it?

Question

My boyfriend on 3 yrs has been cheating on me. I dont know for how long. I also just found out a few days ago that I am 4 weeks pregnant. We were pregnant 2 years ago and had an abortion. I swore if it happened again, I would keep it. What should I do?

I am 33. No, I have never cheated on him. I come from a pretty strict family. Where having a baby out of wedlock has never been an option.

Good point about haveing sex out of wedlock but I did grow up in a different era than the folks.....thanks for all your feedback. I am beside myself as I just found him out with her tonight.

He knows I am pregnant. We both found out on xmas day.....

He knows I am pregnant. We both found out on xmas day.....

Answer 1

Keep the child, it isn't his/her fault that the dad is a jerk. Love your baby regardless.

Answer 2

It is an embryo now. No heart beat. No head. If you want to terminate it, do it before 7 weeks to be sure. Don't take it as a termination of life, just a termination of pregnancy. If not, decide what is BEST for the baby & you. I'd recommend you leave your boyfriend. Well hey, is he ONLY your boyfriend or is he someone else's boyfriend now? Either decision, sit him down & talk to him. If he can't be a reliable boyfriend, how can he be a reliable husband or father? Talk to your family to know how much moral support you'd be getting. If you are afraid to do that, forget it. Get yourself to the operating table ASAP. Finally, have a talk with your own heart... Will you raise it yourself? Can you raise it yourself?

I know all I stated above seems mighty straightforward in a mean sense but be a realist & do not get overemotional. The person who would be hurt the most would be you & your baby.

Answer 3

Not sure why you would ask that question here to be judged and ridiculed. But here is my two cents. First you have to ask yourself a bigger question, are you going to stay in this relationship. It is obviously not a stable and happy relationship. Second of all, if you decide to stay together and raise a baby together what kind of father will he make and how committed is he. If you want to go it alone, you have to consider the emotional and financial strain being a single mother creates. Only you can answer that question. Good luck.
It is so easy for people to say adoption...but 15-20 years from now that child may come back and find you and create a whole new set of issues. It is always easy for the self righteous to say adopt. But then why are there half a million kids in foster care (2001)

Answer 4

Gosh... this is a really difficult situation for you. You are 33 years old. I would suggest keeping the baby only if you are completely prepared to deal with the responsibility, expenses, and if you have an established career that will allow for you to keep up with provisions for your child. Babies are a responsibility. They depend on you for their entire life! Are you prepared? Do you have a job that will allow for maternity leave? How will you find care for the baby after birth if you need to work? Who will do this for you?

Are you staying with the boyfriend? Are you willing to put yourself in such a degrading situation with him?

Personally, I think it's still early enough to get an abortion. I know it's not the best answer to provide for you, but think about how this will affect your future as a single parent. The question is not "should I keep it", the question is "am I ready to provide a good life for my child?". Think about it. Find someone to talk to.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 5

You come from a strict family where having a baby out of wedlock is out of the question... but having unmarried sex is okay?

If you have a good job and can afford it, keeping the baby is an option, though you'd be condemning the poor kid to life with a lousy father. Perhaps adoption would be a better option, then you wouldn't be tied to this jerk for the rest of your lives.

Answer 6

I have only seen about 2 answers that are even close to right.

The decision is yours, you have to live with the consequences of the choice, no one can make the decision for you. Regardless of whether your BF stays or goes, the decision to keep or abort the baby is ultimately yours alone. Your BF may want a say in it. But in the end, you are the one it will affect the most. Think long and hard before making any decision. It is a big deal either way you go.

Answer 7

I don't care if people judge me or give me thumbs down for saying this. My ex boyfriend got me pregnant September of last year. Not only did I find out he was cheating on me, I found out that he already had 2 previous children that I didn't know about and 1 more on the way with another girl. I got an abortion on December 2 and haven't looked back. I didn't want to be connected forever to this baby making loser and as sad and it is to say this I didn't feel any connection to the baby because of the seething hatred I had for the father. Do what is right for you, no matter what anyone on here says. I never regretted my decision because I knew it was right for me. I wouldn't have been able to give that child the love and attention it deserved and he/she is back in God's hands now. You do what's right you!

Answer 8

Abortion is not murder for heavens sake. Dont listen to that rubbish.
You have to decide whether you are prepared to raise this baby as a single mother. Even if the father wants to try to work things out, he cheated once he might again, even if he doesnt cheat, he might walk out the door at any time literally leaving you holding the baby.
Its not easy but it isnt that hard (yes I was a single mother for a few years to my daughter who is now 5).
One of the biggest things you have to accept is that if you decide to go through with the pregnancy, then the father will be in your life for the rest of your life. Even if he states that he wants nothing to do with the child, he might change his mind. There might be custody battles, are his family understanding people? Will your baby be treated as one of their own regardless of whether you are with the father or not? Will you have the baby to get the guy back?
This is a pretty big decision you have to make & I strongly suggest you get some sort of councilling. It could be a simple trip to the doctor to discuss your decisions, or to a family planning organisation who can support you in whatever decision you make or it could be that you see a qualified councilor.
Do what is right for your future. If you decide to keep the baby, can you support this child not only financially but emotionally too? Are you prepared to sacrifice things? Do you have a good support network around you? Are you prepeared to put a relationship on hold till your baby is old enough to accept another man in your life? Lots to ponder there dear one.
Best of luck to you sweets xxxx

Answer 9

O MY GOD!!! Kick this ******** out!! Who the hell duz he think of he's?? Your pregnant you have 4 different youngsters to look when you do the cooking,cleansing and all house household projects and he's moaning at you approximately intercourse? If i replaced into u i could kick him out till he realises intercourse isn't the main serious factor in the worldwide. you're donning his toddler thats difficult adequate without each and every factor else u have have been given to do aswel. i will for sure aid you be attentive to like him yet whilst he extremely did love you as much as he's asserting he does no longer be asserting he's thinking cheating. My important different hasnt had intercourse on condition that i replaced into approximately 6 and 25weeks pregnant im now 35weeks yeh he doesnt like it yet he's conscious of how uncomfortable i'm and could extremely me and his toddler be chuffed than him, i exhilaration him in different techniques and he looks 2 be happy with that. heavily take a good seem at your boyfriend and dont enable him make you experience unhappy you ought to be chuffed!! good success xxx

Answer 10

The decison is yours. I am pro-choice, I do not judge or tell people what to do. I do not put guilt trips for people's decisions either. I am very open minded.

I had an abortion 10 months ago due to health problems. If I didn't have health problems, I would keep it. I was naive. I was already married with a 2 year old and wanted another child but I didn't think about my health first. When I was pregnant in the early stages, I found out I had a serious health problems. Contemplating on abortion and whether or not to keep it was very draining. :Luckily, my spouse was very supportive of whatever decision I made. If I went through the pregnancy, I would have probably ended up with a stillborn or a miscarriage. I thought to myself, I can not bear to give birth to a stillborn or have a miscarriage. If I had went through labor, I would have complications and maybe died. Or if the baby would have lived, it would probably have birth defects or other health problems. The risks of these things happening was very high. I read a book that have guided me called "Return from Heaven" by Carol Bowman. There were factual cases in her book that the souls of children from abortion,miscarriage or stillborns do come back. For example there was a case of a 3 year old boy who was riding in a car with his mom and he heard about abortion on the radio. The little boy said "Abortion is wrong!". Now how does a 3 year old know what abortion was ,especially when he never heard about it before from his parents? Anyway, the boy's mom said "How do you know about abortion?" the little boy said "Mommy, I lived in your tummy before but you weren't ready for me, so I waited for you in Heaven until you were ready". Then he went back to coloring in his book.. This brought tears to the mother's eyes as she had an abortion when she was very young and it confirmed that the boy's soul did came back to her.
There are also other interesting cases in the book, read the book when you get a chance because it has helped me.

Anyway, after I read Carol Bowman's book, there was something on there that said something about talking to your unborn and explaining the reasons why they can not be born at this time. doing this wouldn't make the soul of the unborn feel rejected when they exit your body. So me and my spouse talked to the unborn fetus in my belly, we told the fetus "Little one, we are very sorry. We made a mistake. But you can't be born at this time. We aren't ready to have you. Mommy has health problems and she needs to get better first. I hope you understand and hope you forgive us someday. Please find another woman ready to bear you or wait for mommy to be healthy again and come back to us. We release you now in peace." But talk to the fetus in your own words. Make sure you apologize for making the mistake of becoming pregnant at the wrong time.
After that, I made the difficult decision to go ahead with the abortion.

Also, keep these questions in mind and hopefully it will help you make the right decision.
1) "Am I financially stable to also care for a child?"
2) "If I am single, do I have the emotional/financial support from other people, like family and friends, who will be there when I need help?"
3) "Am I healthy and do not suffer from serious health problems?"
4) "Am I emotionally stable to care for a child?" "Am I ready to make sacrifices?"
5) "Am I ready to become a parent?" "Do I love children?"
6) "Am I able to love unconditionally?"

I hope this helps

Answer 11

This is a hard question to answer because it always comes down to how you feel and what you want. I mean are you financially stable? There are so many options but, you should go for the one in your heart. Your heart never lies. Now, what to do about the bf...Id tell him and then if he says to get an abortion again- id dump his ***. He doesnt care about you or the child your carrying.