Husband cheated and blamed wife????

Question

If a husband cheats on his wife because they were not intimate as often as he wanted....is she to blame? His wife was molested as a child and had emotionally difficulties dealing with sex....she told her husband everything before they even married. He told his wife that she was not normal. She loves him very much and wants to be with him....but he has really hurt her. Is it her fault that he cheated when he knew everything from the beginning?

She waited until marriage to have sex with her husband....and obstained from intercourse until then. So no, she did not know the repercussions of the molestation until then...

Answer 1

nNo its not her fault and even if he didnt know about the issues he still shouldnt cheat, they are married and if he loved her he wouldnt have done it!! he should have came to her and told her his feelings and his cheating wouldnt have happend, i think he is tryin to make her blame herself to take the heat off his back, once he has done this then he can retreat him self to another affair.. he is definatly at fault here and something needs to be done about it before this girl gets hurt again

Answer 2

There are always two sides to every story. The cheater always gets the shaft because its the easiest way to go. I've known many couples and different situations ( usually male cheating on female but there was one vice versa) and sometimes ( Not always) its a two laned road. Both where to blame. Cheating is never justified but can definetly be understood when women( and occassionaly a man) use sex as a punishment, for example, or plainly lose/or never really had but went through the motions until secure, the interest. We are HUMAN....the needs are there. Should we do all we can to do the right thing?? Absolutely. Does that always work?? No.

Answer 3

Yes, she was correct...it's always the womens fault . OKAY...I AM JUST KIDDING ! In all seriousness, in my opinion, the root of (most) cheating is the breakdown of communication. As a realtor may say regarding property...location, location, location, I think for a long and successful marriage it is communication, communication, communication...and I do speak from experience. When communication breaks down, other things that hold the marriage together also start falling by the wayside. Some of the causes (and again I speak from personal experience) is when one or both are too prideful in admitting they were wrong...or taking advantage of the other ones feelings and not recognizing the others emotional input. When my wife and I are mad at each other, we'll take a cool down period, then discuss the matter. In most cases, things get resolved. For the unresolved issues, we just agree to disagree, then move on. Marriage isn't always easy, but if it matters to both, "communication" has to be the key to any successful relationship. So to answer your question, no it's not the womens fault, and vice versa (most of the time).I'll climb off my soapbox now. Thank you.

Answer 4

Never is it another persons fault if someone cheats on another.
If he knew this going in he should be sympathetic and understanding he sounds like a selfish jerk. I do not know why you do not let him go because it appears at this moment you are not mentally or physically capable of being involved with someone. I know that sounds harse but you need to get some help and closure on your past before you can experience what life and marriage has to offer if you have never seeked help for this past issue it is time to deal with it do not procrastinate any longer. These issues are hard to come to terms with but you will feel better once you talk and resolve those thoughts and feelings.

God Bless and Lots of luck.

Answer 5

I',m not trying to be mean but sounds like if you had these issues you probably shouldn't have gotten married at all without seeking alot of professional help in the first place. Because it was bound to spill over into your marriage so i would say it's not one person's fault because he can make up his own mine of what he wants to do but if he knew you had these problems then he should have tried to get you some help first and then talk to you about marriage. But nobody forced him to cheat so he don't need to use that as an excuse.

Answer 6

Culturally, emotionally, genetically, historically, and even legally and recognized by most religions, man or woman, a spouse has a sexual responsibility to their significant other. Even the early puritan sermons are filled with chastizing of church men and women who did not have sex with their spouse.

You may debate menomics and if it is her fault, but it is extremely likely her lack of ability to sustain an intimate relationship is the primary cause of him seeking sex outside the marriage.

At most you can fault him for cheating and not just getting a divorce outright. i fault her for not addressing this emotional scar completely with a psychologist before now. I also fault her for getting upset that he cheated - what does she expect?

My recommendation to them - him, move on if she persists because he will not likely be happy in the current situation. Her - get some help and take some personal responsibility, recognizing her actions and behavior have direct and predictable consequences.

Answer 7

Partly that sounds like what my best friend is going through right now. I will tell you what I have told her: "It's not your fault that your husband cheated on you. You're a good woman, and you have a lot to offer. He's blaming you because he is insecure. You are better off divorcing him even though you still love him. He cheats on you now, and he will cheat on you again. Spare yourself the pain and agony, hun." I certainly hope this will help. It's not the woman's fault. My friend was raped at a very tender age, and she is experiencing the same pain and agony that this woman is experiencing. You are a good friend, and you must continue to stick by her in this very vulnerable time. I wish you and this woman the very best.

Answer 8

No, it isn't HER fault. Understand he has needs to. If a person is not getting pleasure at home they are gonna stray away. It was probably just sex w/ the other girl, but is love w/ his wife. Usually when a wife or husband cheats it is because they aren't getting pleased at home.

Answer 9

The wife is not to blame. Cheating is cheating. If he couldn't deal with minimal sex - he should have told her - then left - and THEN had sex with other people. NOT when they were married.

Counseling is what they need. She probably still needs it to get past the molestation - and they both need it to work on their marriage.

Hope it works out.

Answer 10

All i got to say like judge maybeline used to say is look deep before you leap. He should of never even said i do knowing his wifes state of being and the fact that he wasn't ok with it. You must be true to yourself before you can anyone else and HELL NO it's not the wifes falt because before the man ever even thought about gettin down with another woman he should have broke the marrage off. A cheater is a cheater no matter how you try to approach it!

Answer 11

There is never a case in where you can do something that you know is wrong and have the right to blame another person for that action. He knew what happened in her lifetime and he should have taken that into consideration before he married her and decided whether or not his love for her was that strong. He can only blame himself.