My wife wants a baby, but I told her it's our responsibility not to have a child until we have enough food to feed all the starving people we have already. Was I right?
2006-12-28 16:33:23 · 18 answers · asked by locusfire 5 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Let me add, we do have enough money... probably more than enough. I just think if we bought enough food for three people each week, there'd be less food at the grocery store for starving people.
2006-12-28 16:45:02 · update #1
No you aren't right. You and your wife aren't responsible for all the starving people of the world. I think you are using that as an excuse because you really don't want the responsibility of being a father. It is a big job and if you aren't ready to take it on, say so. I feel sorry for your wife and wish her well in her life with you.
2006-12-28 16:45:10 · answer #1 · answered by Country girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have told her this "reasoning" before you got married, at least then she would have been able to truly estimate the kind of man she was involved with.
Of course your reasoning is wrong.
Here are the problems with your reasoning.
There is already enough food in the world for all the starving people, it is just not getting to them.
Your parent's didn't let that stop them from having you.
What is the difference between buying food for your self and for a child?
That is if your reasoning is logical (which it isn't) then what you eat is presently removing food from the table of some starving person.
Its a cop out and you ought to at least have the courage to consider why it is you really do not want a child.
You are at the very least correct in telling her you do not want a child. It is better to be honest in that respect... but cetainly she deserves a more reasoned and sincere answer than what you have given her.
Help the relationship between you guys, don't hinder it.
2006-12-29 00:15:29 · answer #2 · answered by thankyou "iana" 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As admirable as your intention was, no you weren't right. It's not your responsibility to feed every starving person in the world, nor could you if you wanted to.
Wanting to have your own child is natural. Telling your wife she's not allowed to be a mother because of the way society is couldn't be further from right if you tried.
Have a child AND donate to charities and such to help others .. or do volunteer work. But don't let the way the world is stop you from having your own family.
Edit for additional details: Oh please, now that's a cop out. The stores restock genius .... starving people are starving because they can't afford to shop in those stores to begin with.
This is very simply a case of you not wanting children, not being honest with her about it upfront, and now trying to come up with some noble reason to make it look like you're not a complete scumbag. You failed. If you didn't want children, you should have made that clear from the beginning, because she obviously does. So do her a favor. Get a divorce and let her have children, while you go and pretend to be noble with some other unsuspecting woman you'll deceive.
2006-12-28 16:38:02 · answer #3 · answered by Jaded 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
One word: ADOPTION
You're right that there are many starving kids in the world, but it's not that their isn't enough food, it's just that it isn't all shared around.
Your wife probably wants to bear a child herself, but if you adopt, then you get to help needy kids, and you both get the joy of raising a child. Your wife may disagree with this, but yoy'll just have to reach a compromise.
Good luck whatever you choose to do.
2006-12-29 03:32:46 · answer #4 · answered by callum828 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um, didn't you both have this talk before the wedding? If you both agreed then go for it. If not, well, then continue to be selfish and piss off your wife. If a woman gets married it usually includes the thoughts of one day having children with her husband. If you only want to spend your life with her, then what is the problem? Don't blame it on financial crap--look a little deeper inside of yourself and figure out if you want a family or you might just be scared.
2006-12-28 16:52:45 · answer #5 · answered by l'il mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an individual...and have the right to your own views. At the same time, your wife enjoys those very same rights. I would have thought that you'd discussed this before you were married! If she wants a baby and you don't...sounds to me like you shouldn't be together. Let her go...so she can have the child she wants with someone else...someone who shares her desire to start a family.
2006-12-29 03:33:54 · answer #6 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your penis. Your decision. No sex has a right over another in that sort of decision. A bit more so swayed her way if she were actually pregnant and one or the other wanted an abortion. But that's obviously not the case. So it should be a much easier decision.
2006-12-29 16:01:49 · answer #7 · answered by blah_blah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you two not discuss these sort of "life goals" BEFORE getting married? It's fine if you don't want kids, but if she REALLY wants kids...it might be a deal breaker, or maybe she can live with it. Again, why didn't you guys KNOW about each others feelings on children before marriage?
2006-12-28 17:36:34 · answer #8 · answered by wendy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No man or woman should be forced in to becoming a parent, so I do think that you did the right thing. Tell her how you feel, and see if she still wants to continue with the relationship.
2006-12-28 21:10:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your reason sounds like a cop out. Did you ever tell your wife before marrying her that you were not interested in having children of your own? If you did not make her aware of this, then you have cheated her.
2006-12-28 16:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋