Got a spouse who's lazy. I feel cheated. Need a solution. Anyone ever had this problem? plz share.?

Question

I am considering leaving this person for a new year's resolution. I feel like I am being stressed out because I am the one who is carrying the load. I pay the rent and I have to clean and he doesn't help me by keeping the cars clean or picking up behind himself. Am I the only one that has dealt with a lazy man? Please share. I need help.

Answer 1

you have allowed this person to take advantage of you,use you and freeload.You need to establish some ground rules if he is not willing to pull his share,you definately need to kick him out.Sometimes tough Love is needed.If he is serious about you he will want to take care of you!this is not a healthy relationship.

Answer 2

I thought I was the only one with a husband like that. I can't really say he is lazy since he does pay all the bills and works 6 to 7 days a week. He is however lazy when it comes to housecleaning, he usually comes home from work and throws his clothes on the floor and then asked me for food, so I totally understand you on that part, cause I too work and am tired and I hate having to take care of the house chores, husband, kids. I wouldn't say to leave him but try to talk to him and see if he does change a bit, if not then only you know what you have to do.

Answer 3

It's too much for one person. That's what I tell my husband. I tell him when I'm not angry. But managing a home and juggline everything is too much. I tell him it's overwhelming. He does help around and had gotten a lot better about picking up after himself and lending a hand. He and his son (now 18) can be total slobs. He does all the outside and mechanical work too plus side jobs. But the side jobs were interfereing with our stuff so I asked him to lay off.

My neighbor slaves hand and foot after work with her husband and two sons. I wouldn't go that far. Stepson always had chores and dad had to help.

I would make a list of all the expenses you pay and all the household tasks you do. It really adds up on paper and his hard to deny that you don't do more than your share.

Answer 4

LAZY MEN does NOT mean "Spouse should pick up slack". If he can't help out or ever be able to compare what you do everyday on your own, or can even recognize the signs that you are a stressed out basket case...... leave him!! .... thats what I did to my hubby. They need to grow up, and I am NOT the mommy to my spouse. We agreed for him to get his own place, pay all the bills, do his own laundry, clean his bathroom and toilets, and cook for himself. After 1 year (Dec.3rd 2005 he moved out) I STILL have to "guide" him and do things for him so he doesn't SINK under completely. But now, he has to PAY me for my help because of his laziness, and I dont have to live with him anymore. We now have decided we are better off living apart, and should just be friends!! He just wants a maid, not a wife, so leave him, and make him pay you to be his maid!! Friendly wise! Don't take Lazy.... go for CRAZY !!! Good luck hun

Answer 5

I never was in that situation but my sister was. She was pulling two jobs while her husband didn't do anything but try to find a way to get quick money by saying he was hurt. She was with him for 20 years and left him for another man. I actually do not condone cheating on a spouse but when it comes to a lazy man not helping around and free loading then I suggest a seperation or a divorce.

Answer 6

How effectively have you communicated your concerns to your spouse? As you have here? Have you offered any constructve criticism to motivate him or is your bond with him so shaky that it's basis is solely conditional on what he can do for you? Perhaps he's distracted by some issue and is worried about how it will affect his family. Maybe he's struggling with depression due to his needs and concerns not being addressed within the relationship. It's a two way street and your assumption that your spouse is to blame for the blues you're livin' through suggests a bit of single-mindedness on your part. It's easy to bail. It's harder to fight for what's important, but the rewards are worth it.

Answer 7

Well tell the free ride is over....Get a job, start helping out or I am leaving you. If you are as upset as you sound then you should have no problem putting your foot down. Also leave his stuff where it is don't make dinner or clean up. Use paper plates so you will not have to clean up after yourself. Be a woman and stand up for your self
PS good luck and don't back down

Answer 8

nope your not alone my hubby is the same way. getting better but still the same.ask him to wash dishes he says ok not a problem. takes him 5 days to do it. he says yes to anything i ask he just does it on his own time. what i started doing though because a clean house is a huge pet peive for me. anything he left lying around went into a pile. if the clothes werent in the laundry basket they didnt get washed. if dishes didnt get put in the sink he didnt eat. he would ask me to do something i would say no sorry. then just go about what i was doing. eventually it caight on. you have to give a little to receive. so now i wont lie i still have some of the same problem but it is much better than it was. i expect to pick up a towel every now and again. or put the tiolet seat down, pick up a glass. but im not his mother and i wont act like one. just takes putting for foot down. takes action to get a reaction. good luck though

Answer 9

My husband does help around the house , but he makes me feel invisible.. we don't speak much, he goes to his computer room and ham radio room, and I come to my craft/computer room, and we stay there most of the day, we are both disabled, so we don't work.. so guess there is just not much to talk about.. but we do watch some TV at night before he falls asleep in his chair.. I know what you are saying.. I do get him to talking to me sometimes and that is good times.. try that, you surly have some things to talk about, with out being a nag.. and maybe he will come and help with the dishes if you can talk about silly things while you are doing them, of if he would at least come out and set and talk to you while you are doing them, you just need to find things to connect and do together.. and some fun things.. there has got to be something out there that both of you can get into.. get him about half drunk and take him to dance lessons.. he will never know it and then you will have something in common... good luck...

Answer 10

no mam your not the only womene out there with this problem thats for sure. what it comes down to is what your willing to put up witth. try talking with him threathen him by telling him you have enough and you cannont continue to live like this, i know its strssful and trust stress probelms are not healty for anyone but we all have them you have to pick and choose your battles that your willing to battle with him. I mean these days most men excpect woemen to do everything and not every women is super women some women can mangage better than others this is something you have to figure for sure. i wish you the best good luck

Answer 11

I have never had this problem b4 but just tell him that if he dont start acting like a MAN and start carrying his own load that you are gone. Also tell him that he is the man not you.