Abortion...?

Question

I have a friend and she just found out she is pregnant. She has only been dating this guy for 3 months and they are pretty much breaking up. It was over before she found out. Her family is religious, so she isn't telling them. But she is 25 and still lives with her parents and she does have a job. But she doesn't want the baby. She told me yesturday that she is getting an abortion.

I personally think abortion is a horrible thing. I'm not religious at all. Just my morals and values. I believe abortion is only acceptable if rape was invovled or if the mother and/or child has some sort of disease/illness.

Do you think there is a way I can talk her out of it?

Answer 1

It is your responsibility as a friend to do what you can to try to save the baby's life and save your friend from a lifetime of physical and emotional pain. If your friend was holding a gun to the head of an already born child, you wouldn't just stand there and watch her pull the trigger. I'm glad to know that you want to talk her out of it and admire you for it.

For starters, I would share some of these facts and photos with her:

Photos and Video of Abortions, Including 1st Trimester Abortions:
http://www.cbrinfo.org/Resources/pictures.html
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-4-video.html

Photos and Facts About Prenatal Development:
http://www.justthefacts.org/clar.asp
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-A-2-prenatal.html
http://www.studentsforlife.uct.ac.za/foetal%20dev%20photos.html
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/in_pictures/3847319.stm

Abortion Stories:
http://abortiontv.com/Words/truestoriesfrom-mothers.htm
http://www.abort73.com/HTML/I-G-2-testimony.html
http://www.teenbreaks.com/abortion/girlswhoaborted.cfm

Abortion Risks:
http://afterabortion.info/complic.html
http://www.abortionfacts.com/reardon/effect_of_abortion.asp

Abortion Deaths:
http://www.lifedynamics.com/Pro-life_Group/Pro-choice_Women
http://www.afterabortion.info/news/abortiondeaths.html
http://www.lifeissues.org/ru486/deaths.htm

Free, Confidential Pregnancy Help (including referrals for financial, medical, legal, and housing assistance; free pregnancy tests and ultrasounds; free maternity and baby supplies; pregnancy, parenting, and adoption information; counseling and emotional support):
http://www.optionline.org/advantage.asp

Support for Pregnant College and Career Women:
http://www.nurturingnetwork.org

You might want to start the conversation by saying someone like, "I really care about you, and I don't want you to hurt yourself or your baby. Please take a look at some of this information I found." You also might want to try to talk her into going to a crisis pregnancy center with you, so that the counselors there can talk to her and tell her about all the help available in your area. You can find a crisis pregnancy center by visiting the link above under "Free Pregnancy Help" or by calling 1-800-395-HELP.

As a last resort, if you think her parents would and could talk her out of the abortion, you might have to tell them about it. Yes, your friend would be angry, but remember that a child's life is at stake. This is the time to be courageous. Good luck.

Answer 2

It may be hard to tell a grown woman what to do, and I've got to agree, in the end it IS her decision. But I definitely see why you want to change her mind...by 25, one would hope to be more mature than to just try to cover up their boo-boos and use abortion as birth control. Just talk to her and make sure she is doing it for the "right" reasons (though what those would be, I'm sure I don't know) and not just to "make this go away"...because an abortion will leave an impact on her and her whole life, so if she's using it as an escape method, make sure she's aware of emotional and physical consequenses. Just talk to the poor girl. She's probably very upset and confused. Above all, support her, but help her to not hurt herself in the process.

Answer 3

I don't think you should try and talk her out of it cause it might make her want to do it more. I don't agree with abortion but people unfortunately have the right to make their own decisions (even though the little person inside her won't have a choice) You could casually bring up the option of adoption. Their are so many couples out their who would do anything to have a children but can't have children naturally. If she has been considering adoption maybe you should go online with her and search for some adoption agencies in your area. See if she will go with you to an adoption agency and talk with a counselor. Make sure she knows that by talking with someone at an agency doesn't mean that she has to go with that option.
If she is only looking at abortion because she is scared to tell her parents maybe you should offer to be with her when/if she tells them. It is good to have someone to support you even if you don't say anything, just sit with her.
My family is very religious and we do not believe in premarital sex but if I found out I was pregnant, although my parents would be upset at first, I know they would be their to support me.
Hope this helps

Answer 4

I feel that she shouldn't have the abortion. You should tell her nicely that they both made the choice to have sex & should deal with the consequences. If she doesn't want to have the baby herself then she could have it adopted. My sis was thinking of having one when she was pregnant & broke up with her boyfriend but she decided to keep the baby & now she has a 5 year old that she wouldn't trade for anything. I couldn't imagine what I would be like without my kids. My sis did have an abortion several years before the first b/c of rape but she still at times wonders what it would be like if she had the child. Remember the baby is a baby from the time it's conceived.

Answer 5

I think you should express how you feel and maybe tell her what you might do in her situation. I also think abortion should not be used as a form of birth control, but this decision is your friends. Weather you think it's right or wrong doesn't matter. Just support your friend and be there for her at this difficult time.

Answer 6

It is none of your business! Be a supportive friend here...that's what she needs right now, not MORE criticism and MORE hurt. Abortion is not an easy decision. People don't just say, "I think I'll have an abortion today. That sounds nice." It takes a lot of thought, and the clinics--yes, even and especially Planned Parenthood--make sure they know EXACTLY what they are getting themselves into and let them know ALL their options.

It is not your job or right to tell her what to do.

Answer 7

No, you can not talk her out of it. This is a very personal decision for your friend, and one I have had to make for myself in the past. You said it yourself that you PERSONALLY think abortion is wrong. Of course, you can share your opinion with your friend and ask her about her feelings. I'm sure she would value your input, but if she has made up her mind, there's nothing you can do to enforce your feelings, except to end the friendship.

Answer 8

My best advice would to be not to try to get her to make any decision that she doesn't want to make.

It's really not your choice. Whether or not abortion is right or wrong, ultimately it is her choice. What she needs at this point in time is a friend to support whatever decision she makes.

If you want to collect pamphlets on different choices for her to read, that would probably be okay depending on how you approach her. Don't push anything on her, just say something like, "I found these pamphlets on different options and I thought maybe you'd like to read them over."

Be kind, be gentle, be her friend.

Answer 9

I think you should try to talk your friend out of getting an abortion. I'm not that religious but there are other solutions ADOPTION if she doesn't want to have kids. I don't think you should pressure her but try to listen to her she is probably making one of the biggest decision of her life she needs a friend right know.
BTW:I'm really glad you brought this subject up for discussion...

Answer 10

Only try to change her mind if you are planning to offer financial support and baby sit whenever she needs it. Or if you know of a normal, well-off family that is willing to adopt her child and you are willing to help them adopt the kid.
Even then, it's still her choice.
If you don't want to do that, or you're not able to do it, just back off, since it's none of your business.

Answer 11

You can try and talk her out of it. But ultimately it is her decision what she wants to do. Try and get her to think about how she's going to feel about it after it's over with. Is she going to be able to handle the fact that once that baby is gone, it's gone for good? Maybe her parents would be more receptive than what she thinks. This will be THEIR grandchild after all. You can try to talk to her, but still try to be supportive. She is your friend and in this time she's going to need all the support she can get. I don't agree with abortion. I think it's wrong, but this is a free country and a woman has the right to choose what she does with her body. Because she is religious, she needs to think about the consequences to her actions right now. How will she be judged in the end, not by people, but by God? I wish you the best of luck.