What are some good ways to deal with your mothers unexpected death?

Answer 1

Honey i sooo know what you are going threw and what you are dealing with! I had to say goodbye to my x husband 2yrs ago and i still am having alot of issues with it! I talk to my x inlaws all the time and they still consider me as family! Its really hard! I am married now to a really great man and he is trying his best to help me deal with my loss. Me and my x where like the best of all best friends! We lived like 5hrs from each other and still made time to visit at least once every 2 weeks.
So i know how you are feeling and believe me it will get better! You will dream about her and there will be times that you can feel her or even smell her and that is just her telling you that she is with you and she will never be far away! I have these feelings and things happen to me everyday!
I just keep in my mind when i go to the grave site like every week i just keep in mind that i will see him one day and he will look the same and we will still be the BEST OF FRIENDS!!!
Honey i am hear for you if you ever need anyone to just sit and chat with, contact me at [e-mail]
God bless

Answer 2

I dont think there is any easy way except to try to keep your heasd hi and strong as you know she would like. I never lost a parent and i so grateful for that. I am so sorry that you ahd to lose a parent i know that is the hardest thing in the worls other than losing your child. All i can say is that it will get easier each day, and try to keep her smiles and laughs around you to remenind you how happy she was. pull out those pictucres and keep them arouns you when you look those pictures remeber her being that sofy hearted mother that would get you ready for school or bundle you up when it was time to play outside with your friends. Try to remeber that this is something that you will never get over but there are ways to make yourself happy by her death. Like i said pull out old pictures of her smiling ot family get togethers those kind of thngs. try to keep her voice and her whisper in your heart at all times and i think she will guide you through your soul with all the warm memories of her, this is something i truly believe. Good luck and I hope you feel better real soon

Answer 3

So sorry to hear.
I am not sure what to tell you.
May you find comfort in church if you are religious.
Look to the brighter days - shes smiling down on you.

"Sudden Events" can be more traumatic. If you are really having a hard time - get some professional help and go talk to someone.

Don't shut down and dont quit living your life. Remember all of the good times.

There are also death support groups online and maybe in your community. Sometimes its easier to be with someone to console and talk with.

Answer 4

This is what someone told me to do to deal with with a sudden death..... Every day find a a way to honor that person. no matter how small, honor them. I had a neice who died at 6 months, so once a week i buy a ballon and let it go in the air. Every day I kiss my hand and touch her baby hat that sits on my dresser, and tell her good morning. Sorry about your mother passing.... be blessed.

Answer 5

Here are five steps that can help you work through grieving in a healthy way.

1. Learn to accept that your loss is real.
For many people who are grieving a loss, the first impulse is to deny the loss. Grieving denial can range from downplaying the loss, as if it's not important, to having the delusion that the person or pet is still alive.
It's often easier for people who are greiving to have an intellectual understanding of the death (the person or pet is physically gone) than an emotional understanding (the loved one is not coming back). So the first task for the grieving person is accepting that the loved one is really gone.

2. Make it OK to feel the pain.
The pain of grieving can be both emotional and physical, and unfortunately there's no way to avoid it. Denying the pain of grieving can lead to physical symptoms and can also prolong the grieving process.
Some people try to avoid grieving pain by being busy or traveling; others minimize their loss by idealizing the loved one or refusing to allow negative thoughts about the loved one enter their minds. Some grieving people use drugs or alcohol to deaden the pain.
Feeling the pain of grieving is difficult, but it's an important step toward healing.

3. Adjust to living without the deceased.
When a loved one dies, we also lose the part of our lifestyle that included the deceased. So while we are grieving for the loved one, we are also grieving for the parts of our life that will never be the same. Sometimes it can take a few months following the death for this realization to sink in.
For example, if a man's wife dies, he misses her physically and emotionally, but he may also have lost a dear friend, sexual partner, golfing buddy, and fellow grandparent. Part of his grieving will naturally include missing the parts of his life that have changed because of her death.
When a beloved pet dies, we miss the companionship and the love, but we can also miss having a special friend to come home to, walks in the park, playtime, riding in the car, or other activities we shared.
The tendency for some people is to feel that their lives are more empty following a loss.


4. Find a safe place in your heart for your loved one, and allow yourself to move on.
This task can be especially hard for a grieving person because it can feel at first that you're being disloyal when you start to think about enjoying a life that doesn't include the deceased.
It's likely that memories of the loved one will stay with you throughout your life, and sometimes, even years after the death, you may feel a stab of pain when you think about the beloved person or pet that was so important to you.
When this happens, it's important to remind yourself that it's a normal part of the grieving and healing process. Allow yourself to have these feelings.
Learning to cherish a memory without letting it control you is a very important step in the grieving process. By finding a special safe "place" for that person, you can heal from grieving and move back into your life. You begin to find joy in new experiences, and you can take comfort in the knowledge that you keep your cherished memories with you, wherever you go.
The "place" where you decide to keep your memories is up to you. You can visualize tucking your loved one into a space in your heart, or you can keep a box of cherished photos or momentos. Perhaps you'd like to find a special tree or nature setting that you can revisit. Give some thought to where you'd like to hold memories of your loved one.
The important thing is learning how to cherish a memory without getting stuck there.

5. And finally, what do you do with the love that you feel?
For many people, the hardest part of losing a loved one and grieving that loss is figuring out what to do with all the love they feel for the person or pet who is gone.
Remind yourself that you don't have to stop loving someone just because he or she is no longer with you. When a memory pops up, send a loving thought and know that you are loved in return. You may find comfort in this, and the strength to continue on in your journey.

Answer 6

That is so hard to deal with. For me I am still not dealing well with the fact that my Mom died unexpectedly. She was in the hospital for a bone fracture. She called me and told me to not come to visit her because she was coming home the next day and she wanted to get some rest. She was in good spirits and looking forward to some rest and coming home. The next morning my Dad went to pick her up to take her home and she went into respiratory arrest and died. I can't forgive myself for not going to see her that night.

I drank every day for almost a year after that. My Dad was so depressed and almost to the point of being suicidal. It was horrible. It has been almost 4 years since she died. I miss her terribly but it gets a little easier as time passes. It may sound crazy but I talk to her all the time.

I wish you the best of luck! Remember your Mom wants you to be happy and she is with you and also that you will see her again some day.

Answer 7

We had to deal with my Father's unexpected death. My mother died later but after a prolonged illness. It took many years to get over my Father's death. However, many things did help.

During Christmas we did things together, that were new. We made new traditions, wished we could share them with Dad, and later Mom, but they became our way of extending the life they gave to us. One year we went to DisneyWorld.

We saved some of their things and put them away in a box. We took them out many years later, and they became good memories again.

We lit candles and prayed for them, asking God to forgive us and forgive them. We learned to put trouble in the past, and to look forward to a wonderful reunion long into the future, where God's mercy and love reign. The Bible says justice and peace shall kiss and God says: my people are written on the tablet of my heart forever.

Just as you are in your mother's heart forever.

Answer 8

My mother died, I didn't even know she was sick. Just got a call one day, and I lost it.....I still have a hard time sometimes when I am driving by myself and a song comes on the radio, or I see something that reminds me of her. I get sad when I look at my new grandchildren, that she never saw them....It is hard, there is no magic thing to make it hurt less, it just takes some time.....I am sorry you are going through this, hope your heart hurts a bit less and less as time goes by.......sincerely

Answer 9

Sorry for your loss. There is no easy answer. As a rule the best way to get over your own problems is to help other people with theirs. Volunteer to read to kids, or help with a domestic violence shelter. Choose something your mother would be proud of!

Answer 10

Sorry to hear of your loss. There is never an easy road to recovering from a person passing especially when we are close to that person. Just remember that you'll always carry her with you in your heart. And even though you can't see her she will be there protecting you and guiding you til you can once again be united with her in the afterlife. The pain won't last forever. *hugs*