My 1st love and the father of my 2 kids died 2 yrs. ago in Feb. We had divorced many yrs ago but had tried to make it work many times. I remarried 10 yrs ago and he after 25 yrs remarried for 3 mos. b/4 he died. He was my heart and I was his. Why do I dream about him all the time? This AM I woke up with the thought I want to be where he is. Am I just sad be cause of the holidays or is this something else? I have dreamt about him from the day he died but not on an everyday basis. Please, help me to understand if you can. Thanks!
2006-12-28 15:12:43 · 9 answers · asked by kelly m 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
What is it you feel he may be trying to tell you? That is what I sense from all of this. He is the father of your children and you are the woman he loved and visa versa. He is trying to communicate to you for the children as well as your own well being in an emotional way. You have things you need to say to him as well. So here is my advise that I would take myself if our positions were reversed. Write to him. Address the letter write it all out and put all of your feelings in it. All the anger and hurt all of it. Be real honest knowing that this is what he needs and you as well as your children no matter how old they may be you two are their mommy and daddy. There is allot within you that needs to be purged so do so and do not worry about shame or being wrong for feeling things and saying them cus he is gone. Know that in the end you will reach a peaceful place maybe not in the first letter or even the fifth. Just keep writing until you have nothing else to say. Each night before you go to sleep tell him " i love you, but do not come to me tonight. You do not have premission, i want to see you and i want to listen. however i have things to say first before i am able to listen. end with a thank you. Say this each night and be true to you and trust that you are doing the right thing for him as well as you. You want to be clear enough to be able to listen. I know you want to see him and talk to him all the time, but each night say this until you feel ready. It may take 5 or six days. Write as often as you may. Then when you are ready tell him to send you the messages that he wants you to know thru GOD and not himself. This way you will be able to understand it more clearly. That does not mean that he is not the one speaking or there with you telling you what he wants you to know only that it comes from the clarity of GODS LOVE. Try to realize that this may have nothing to do with you and everything with your children together. He may feel he was not enough and that he did not get to say goodbye and knows you are the only one he trusts and has the connection strong enough and willing enough to listen to him. Much love to you.
2006-12-28 15:29:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still occasionally dream about my first love. Our relationship did not end amicably, unfortunately, but I was very dearly in love with her, and until the breakup, she with me.
I really wish I would just never dream or think about her, because it always makes me incredibly sad, but still the dreams persist. No one understands the human brain well enough to know exactly why we have these dreams, but there are many hypotheses.
It's difficult every dream, isn't it? I imagine the dreams you have are of the good times, and when you wake up and realize it is not real, you are heartbroken all over again. If that is the case, I'm very sorry, because I know exactly how you feel. You just need to move forward with life, and let the past be the past. It will always be there, and it won't change, so you should focus on what's coming! The future is never certain, and is a fascinating thing to think about.
You may be sad every time you have one of these dreams, but you should remember both the good times and the bad, and realize nothing is perfect. He is gone now, but still resides in you, by virtue of your memories and your love. In time, perhaps you will learn to enjoy the dreams, as if they were old home videos.
I wish you the best of luck.
2006-12-28 23:27:28 · answer #2 · answered by blizzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our hearts are a dangerous thing. They don't always listen to reason. You probably did have a special conection with him but you are remarried now right? Live your life for today not in the past. Your love of today needs you 100% not wishing on the past. Get ahold of yourself and live for today!
2006-12-28 23:17:51 · answer #3 · answered by yakimablueyes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People sometimes forget what they used to think of which makes the things they think of enter into their dreams. Probably your dream just shows how much you miss him especially that you are thinking of him without knowing that. Perhaps there are other things in your daily basis that get you busy will cause you to forget the things you used to think of.
2006-12-29 00:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by Mo M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably really miss him and subconciously you still love him and that's why you dream about him... You can not bring him back to life but you can dream that he is alive..sounds like an unresolved issue that your mind is trying to tell you.. Talk to your husband now and get it out of your system, vent to him and your mind will be free of worry..good luck.
2006-12-28 23:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by happy2BAlive!! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
studies have shown that dreams are repressed fears/wants and needs. It is your subconcious' way of dealing with these fears and wants. I think that this may be your way of dealing with his passing and still gives you a link to him that you are not ready to give up. The holidays are always a little tougher to deal with as well as many activities that people participate in are reminders of the lost love one.
2006-12-28 23:17:40 · answer #6 · answered by davebower29 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
one thing totally off topic is if you eat before you go to bed you will dream so if you do eat before bed and dont like dreaming dont.
back to topic it's because you miss him and want him back soo bad its all you can think about. The holidays DO make people think more about the ones they have lost.
2006-12-28 23:18:49 · answer #7 · answered by barrelracer12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your eating to much protein at night.. High protein makes you dream like crazy. Back it off on your evening meal.
2006-12-28 23:21:19 · answer #8 · answered by CHUCK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People dream about unresolved issues. Don't worry about it.
2006-12-28 23:17:14 · answer #9 · answered by Clown Knows 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋