i decided to leave my husband who's been so irresponsible eversince we got married...for 7 years, i've finally came to my senses.
im just very thankful that my parents are always there for me...right now, all necessary legal actions has been taking place...the only problem is that we have a 7 year old son, he is very aware of what's been going on between me and his dad...on the other side, i still love him...but having to cope with all his self-centered antics is just really frustrating both for me and our son,,,
my son really adores his dad...coz even if he's like that, i never made him look bad in front of his son...i don't say anything bad about him...despite the fact that he always makes puts his son on the last of his priority list.
please help me....how can i tell my son that me and his dad won't be together again without breaking his heart...i really don't want him to feel that it's all his fault coz its not...please help me...
2006-12-28 14:50:30 · 10 answers · asked by ella e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The child may be young ,but I can bet he understands more than you realize. For seven years he has seen the way his parents have behaved around him. Even at his age he will know it's better for everyone that you and his father are not together. The key is for the two of you(parents) to stay active in your sons life and not treat him as an outsider.
As far as How to tell him,just sit him down and tell him the truth. Children are very adaptable.Change for them is not the crisis for them it often is for adults.
2006-12-28 15:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all I think that you and your spouse should get some counseling..Even if it is not to save the marriage it can give you both a better understanding of each other and how to cope with all the emotions of a divorce..You both need to be friends and raise this child the best way you both can b/c in the end you only have one chance raising him..Once it is done their is no going back! Your child will go through a lot of emotions and as long as he knows that you and his father love him and will always be there for him he will be fine. Be very open with him treat him like you would want to be if you were in his shoes.. Make sure his father is in his life regularly and that is something you and him can communicate in therapy..They have free counseling at churches if money is a issue!
2006-12-28 15:23:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You go out of your way to tell your son that both of his parents love him. You explain that your son has nothing at all to do with the divorce - that it is mom and dad who don't get along and can't live together anymore. You make sure your son understands that he will be able to spend all the time he wants with mom or dad. Don't hold your husband to the limited visitation - allow him plenty of time with your son to help make sure your son feels loved by both parents.
2006-12-28 14:55:01 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a really good mom. I think it is so wonderful that you never talk bad about your husband in front of your son. He is going to hurt, but he'll be okay because you are going to make sure of it. I'm sure he knows about your problems and there's no way to shield him from the pain. Just keep being the great mom that you are. He'll be fine. God Bless you all.
2006-12-28 15:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him - I have been through a divorce and although they were not my children I had to let them know that their mother no longer wanted me so she had traded me in for someone else (her new relationship lasted less than 8 months due to a drug addiction of new bf).
It is not easy to tell children the truth but they will thank you for it in the long run. If he can still see his Daddy and spend quality time with him then there should be no hassles with it. The cruelst thing that you can do to your son thou is to try and play him off against his father.
2006-12-28 14:55:18 · answer #5 · answered by Ben 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He'll be hurt regardless. Just make sure you reassure him that it's not his fault and things won't be so different just that dad will live somewhere else. Make sure you and your husband sit him down, discuss a visitation plan and come to an agreement.....for the boys sake.
2006-12-28 14:55:21 · answer #6 · answered by goodgrleason 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your boy's heart will be broken. It sounds like you are doing the best you can. Make sure your boy is always the priority in your life. He doesn't need to lose both parents. Good luck.
2006-12-28 14:53:39 · answer #7 · answered by linka 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think u shoudl tell him that u want to just be his daddy friend then tell him u will tell him more when he get older i understand u want him to see his dad for what he see him as but right now he will never fully understand but he is old enough to have his own relationship with his dad
2006-12-28 14:59:07 · answer #8 · answered by lil lady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to know the truth, and that you both love him....God bless ya
2006-12-28 14:58:09 · answer #9 · answered by Bert 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't tell him you are getting divorced and tell him that your husband(ex) is on vacation or a business trip for ever
2006-12-28 14:57:27 · answer #10 · answered by just tht kid over there 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋