How do I make it up to my husband?

Question

I really hurt his feelings today. We have been having some money troubles since Christmas. He is the only one that works, I stay home with the kids. I blamed our money situation on him, and I said some awful things to him. We have argued like this before, but this time was different. Most of the time he doesn't take things to heart, and now he feels worthless, and that he doesn't do anything for our family. I feel so bad. And I don't feel that way. I was just mad at the time about not having any money. I have appolozied, but still feel really bad. How can I make it up to him? I want him to feel better. Serious answers only please!

Answer 1

Now this is a tough one, but I would give it a little time and wait for the right moment to sit down with him and explain that you've been really stressed out. You might not like hearing this but he sounds like a very hard worker and you should complain. Even when times get tough, always keep in mind that things always get better. I'm a mom, so I know the deal about being a mom and all but poor guy! You said that you've had arguments like this before...so do you feel sorry that he took it to the heart this time? or because of what you said?? You always gotta put yourself in his shoes. He's been probably trying his best to do whatever he can to make it good for his family and is rewarded with not so good remarks. Sorry if I'm sounding rude but I'm just trying to help. The point is for this to never happen again...not just a quick "I'm sorry" fix.

Answer 2

You should cook a romantic dinner for him. Treat him like a king. Give him a massage and cover him with kisses. Whisper you love him in his ear and tell him you are very sorry about what you said and if he would please forgive you. Try to think of a way for you to bring in some money too. Maybe a part-time job. Taking care of a neighbors child. Just make sure you watch what you say the next time you get mad. Sometimes we can't take things back. It's better to close your mouth and think before you speak. Words do hurt. Especially if he is working hard and feels like it isn't good enough. That must be hard on his ego.

Answer 3

Here is a serious answer. Make it up to him by getting a part-time job. It can be done. Get one where you work a few hours in the evening after he gets home from work and he watches the kids. Do that three nights a week and he ends up spending more time with the kids and you get a little money to help with the bills.

This will show him that you are committed to keeping things going in your marriage. It will help him become closer to the kids. It will show him that you are accepting some of the responsibility of not having enough money.

Answer 4

Your husband works while you sit home with how Meany kids ,if he works 50 hours and Meany men do now days to make ends meet. And you bad mouth him for not bringing home more money. I could say you dumb b i t c h he s the one that's works!! I know housework and kids is on easy task but look at it from him point of view he works, you sit home granted dishes laundry diapers beds to make vacuuming and all the other stuff Now don't get me wrong I work 65 hours a week I know what is is to work come home and cook dinner for three roommates who just sleep. The one girl keeps the House very clean. You need to Tell you husband that you know how hard HE WORKS!! and you appreciate ever thing that he does for you and the kids. He is your whole world, and if you made him feel small you can never make it up to him, but you will spend the rest of your life trying!!

Answer 5

Let him know that you are sorry and that you feel badly for what you said and how that made him feel. Tell him that you realize how fortunate you are that you can stay home to raise your children while so many other moms do not have that same luxury, and that you realize that it is his hard work, sacrifice, and dedication to your family that allows you to have this precious time with your children, and allows his children not to be raised by some strangers. Tell him you appreciate him and all he does. Sometimes financial issues cloud what is really important, and you are so much more fortunate to spend the growing up years with your kids. Then from here on out, tell him often what a good provider he is, how unselfish he is by how hard he works for all of you, how much you appreciate him. And when money gets tight, look at your beautiful children and realize how much you have that money cant buy. So many women wish they could stay home with their little ones. You are so lucky. Please, go tell him now how much you love him. Good Luck

Answer 6

Actions speak louder than words. You need to make this up to him by being consistently supportive and complimentary. You may feel that you don't have control over how you feel, but you definitely have control over how you act, so the next time you get angry and want to say something hurtful to him, imagine a linebacker coming in to knock that hurtful feeling right out of your head and make it disappear so it can't be said. Do anything you need to, to make sure only positive things come out of your mouth. Show him love- in every way- physically, mentally, emotionally, anything. Remember that it takes five positives to make up for every negative. Also, remember that not having money is not the end of the world, but not having him may be. If you want a reality check- go see the movie "Pursuit of Happiness" that is in theatres right now- it's a great reality check on the old money situation. Go see it together and give him a Captain America action figure afterwards. :)

Answer 7

I think writing a letter is a good idea becuz u can get er'thing u need 2 say out. Keep apologizing 2 him, maybe do something special 4 him. It was a kill 2 his ego obviously so its going 2 take time 4 him 2 be ok. But trust ur relationship and the love he has 4 u and jus keep reminding him how much u love him and the family ya'll have 2gether!! Give it some time, I've said mean things 2 my hubby be4 and I apologized, wrote a letter, and then I let him be until he was ready 2 talk 2 me about it. Once we were able 2 sit down and talk we worked er'thing out. Best of Luck 2 u!! :)

Answer 8

Its easy to blame others for things that frustrate us. You cant take back what has already been said, but you can vow for the future to always think before you say something you will regret. Dont let the guilt kill you sweetie, Tell him how stressed you have been and that at the time he was an easy target to vent, but you realize that you were wrong and you should have never takin it out on him. Give him the puppy dog eyes and let him know its not his fault. Let him know that he is what holds the family together.He sounds like a good man.
Maybe try a book on anger management on how to not react when you are mad.

Answer 9

Hey, its hard raising a family on one income, and everything is expensive...at this time of year everyone wants something special, wonderful, but it sounds to me like you all ready have that. I'm reading that he's a good husband, a good father and a wonderful provider. So 'quityourbitchin', wait a bit, and then apologize...be as sincere as you possibly can....and start doing little things for him, breakfast in bed, arrange for the kids to have a sleep over at a friends house and spend some quality alone time as a couple.

This is a stressful time of year, we put so much pressure on ourselves to get it perfect. Honey, it doesn't need to be perfect, families only care about getting it right. So put things right. Take some pressure off of your husbands shoulders...do something nice -- just for him. Let him know that you care, that you love him...that you appreciate him...

Answer 10

Tell him you are sorry, Spell it out to him. make sure you tell him that you apperciate that he is working and caring for your family. That you did not mean to hurt his feelings. Understand he works for his family, everthing he does is for his family. If he does not feel it not enough, He will stop trying. Look at it like this, if someone told you that you were not a good mother to your kids. or b/c your child was yelling in a store you were a bad mother. What would you want someone to say to you. It may take a while, once you hurt an man ego, it like kicking him in the balls. Good luck, I was where you were a few months ago.