He has never been with another man. He has desires and fantasies and has just dicovered that he is bi a few weeks ago because of the feelings he had locked away for years had him confused. How come he like's to be the dominant one when we have sex but fantasies about being the submissive with a guy. Also he says he loves me and he will never act on his desires.Will his curiosity eventually get to him no matter how much he wants our marriage to work.
2006-12-28 14:38:44 · 12 answers · asked by queenkeikei_2 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Maybe, no one can really tell the future, so it is hard to say.
You really should be talking to a counselor or a support group for people with mixed orientation marriages.
One of my favorite people is Joe Kort, you should read his website and see if you find it helpful. He is a therapist that specializes in these issues and has been featured on Oprah and Montel many times.
http://www.joekort.com/
2006-12-29 07:15:38 · answer #1 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if he really desires the marriage to work he can. THough he has to be pretty strong if he wishes to not act on these feelings. as for him being dominate with you and fantasizing about being submissive, its been my experience that bi people are interested in different things between genders. For example, he could like slender brunette women and muscular blonde men.
2006-12-29 14:46:45 · answer #2 · answered by W.E.S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trciky situation. As for being dominant with you and being receiving partner with a guy, there is nothing strange in that. There are plenty of very masculine gay guys who like being the receiving partner in sex. Remember that in sex between two men, the formluas masculine = giving partner and feminine = receiving partner are not valid.
As for whether he can restrain himself from acting on his desires for men, I really can't give an answer for that. Some people can, some people can't. That's something you'll have to find out.
2006-12-29 01:08:30 · answer #3 · answered by B 3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I'm going to tell you the truth and I know because I'm a bisexual man with a straight wife.
As for his curiosity eventually getting to him... yes he probably will act out on it. I'm sorry but its true, he will. I tell you this because he just recently found out about his bisexual appetite. So it really comes down to this... Do you really love him..If you do then ill help you...because their are some things you could do to stay together and have a loving and wonderful marriage. I bi and me and my wife have been happily married for 20 years, so i know what I'm talking about. It would take allot of writing so if you want help email me and ill tell you what you can do.
Good luck and God bless.
2006-12-29 03:29:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It truthfully depends on him, He may be strong enough to fight the temptation but reality is he wont, if I were you Id try to maybe experiment with him so at least its not something that you have to worry about! keep an open dialouge!!!! As far as him being submissive to a man its pretty much they way you feel about him, you give into him because he takes control, because, at some level you let him, He wants that too, I assume, to give himself to someone, a Masculine figure
2006-12-28 22:48:09 · answer #5 · answered by luminazkidd21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think he has experimented already - a man isn't normally willing to just begin discussing stuff like that...I think he has had affairs and things are coming to ahead in your lives. Buckle up I think things are gong to get bumpy.
I haev a friend who dates nothing but closeted married men - - and he is never EVER without 4-6 of them sniffing aroung him while wifey is at home dumb as a brick.
2006-12-29 11:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time will tell my Dear. My brother was married for 30 years when he came out of the closet. He has 3 adult kids and 2 grandkids
2006-12-28 23:40:16 · answer #7 · answered by largerladybug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all, after all, he has a great understand wife who will listen to him. Why would he need anything more? Wants and desires are just that, nothing more.
2006-12-28 22:43:44 · answer #8 · answered by AdamKadmon 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm sure others will disagree, but I suggest you two divorce. Maybe you can still be friends, maybe not. But you need to let him go and find what will make him happy.
2006-12-28 22:54:00 · answer #9 · answered by sweet_leaf 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he were straight would you be asking yourself the same questions? He's still the same person, only better now that he's accepted who he is. Just because someone is bisexual does not make them polygamous.
2006-12-28 22:42:16 · answer #10 · answered by carora13 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋