my sister is 21 and he is 38. he is her first boy friend and i dont know about him. he works a taxi driver in Longbeach and they decided to get married really soon. the longest he has had a job is 1 1/2 years and still lives with his mom. he is not rich person and does not have a large savings account. and im so worried in about 20 years he will be so old and will not be able to afford house payments because it will be hard fo him to get work at and old age. and im afraid my sister will become his retirement plan. and she will sacerfice her life to keep him alive.. i need some advice about this fast im going to talk to them tonight! grr drama woot. anyway any help? also he will not comunicate with my father and mother. and they will be married in CA and my family is from minnesota. so only my parents can afford to go. and all his family will be there. (50 people or so) i feel like its so selfish of him to do this to her and she is just all about him. how can i commuicate.
2006-12-28 13:54:35 · 25 answers · asked by Sam 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it depends on the couple
2006-12-28 13:56:36 · answer #1 · answered by Rishi B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, 17 years of age difference might be a little great but it does not mean No to marriage. As my fiance is also 17 years older than me so he is in his early 50s'and he had a biz failure in Eurpoe. I believe yr sister should know that she may not have a very comfortable life as he does not earn much. U can just advise her that he does not have much savings so she need to be prepared for it. But i do find that he is selfish as to arrange their marriage so far away from his in laws place that only your parents could afford to go. This u can reflect to yr sis as yr relative and her friends are also hoping to attend their wedding. The other matter is why he does not want to communicate with your family. He should respect his wife parents, relatives... When u talk to them do so in a relax tone( no harsh tone as it may turn ugly). All the best.
2006-12-28 22:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by Renew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my family that age difference is the norm and nobody gets divorced. How do you know she doesn't consider him a meal ticket? Does she make more money? The other people you are getting answers from are correct when they say there's nothing you can do about it, other than make them so mad they won't speak to you again. I have a brother in law who had two previous wives and I thought he'd be terrible for my sister. They've now been married almost thirty years and are happy as ever. You can't live their lives for them. All you can do is support your sister with love if it does crash and burn.
2006-12-28 22:05:56 · answer #3 · answered by dragons4me3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all 38 is not old...why dont they get married in CA and in minnesota so both families can join in the celebration. I would tell your sister there is no rush to get married and why not live together before they get married_
2006-12-28 21:58:48 · answer #4 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my bf is 11 yr apart.. but what worries me is the fact that he is your sister first bf..the fact that he is not rich dose not give me much concern because my bf has less than me and he is the younger of the two.. love is what counts..now is the reason he don't have much is it because he was caring for aging parents.. if so if he would spend so much of his life caring for them then he would do the same for your sister if she was to become ill or have accident that would render her unable to care for her self.. maybe you could talk them into having there wedding in a place where everyone could come to and it not be such a hardship on all parties.. like maybe half way
2006-12-28 22:10:18 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand what you are thinking he is DOING to her. It sounds to me like she is in love with this person and she doesn't seem to find his age a problem. Maybe instead of being scared for her, you might be happy for her instead. There's really nothing you can say or do that is going to make someone fall out of love with someone else. The only thing you would do by trying to talk her out of it is to cause hard feelings between the two of you, and I don't think that's what you want. It sounds like you love and care for her, so I encourage you to support her in whatever decision she makes for herself.
2006-12-28 22:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by miracle_happen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but age doesn't matter, but your sister shouldn't rush into marriage she should take her time. And he probably don't have a good job but i should have a saving account for a big man.
But what i see is that he's going to keep her back in life.
she shouldn't marry him
2006-12-28 22:00:17 · answer #7 · answered by darkangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 18 years apart from my wife. Some adjustments for about two years but no major problem after that. Its how responsible the guy is not how old he is.
2006-12-28 22:06:29 · answer #8 · answered by njal47 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to reason with someone in love or has a crush on or thinks they have. I think your best bet is to somehow suggest that she give it some time to ripen before she does anything drastic. I think your doubts are well founded. Good luck.
2006-12-28 22:01:08 · answer #9 · answered by James D. R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well....sometimes age doesnt make any difference to a person but as for his job, he should probably get another one with benefits and all that.She needs to realize that she is still young and there is other guys out there better off money and job wise so tell her you dont think it would be in her best interest or something.
2006-12-28 22:00:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think she'd want her family there and would have something to say about where the wedding is going to be. I've seen stranger things work out though. She's an adult and it is her life.
2006-12-28 22:10:39 · answer #11 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋