custody child rights?

Question

Im 13 years old. I have a mom and a dad. Their divorced. My dad well is an idiot he hates me. My mom nothing better. We are having this dilemma on my rights as a child to choose between them. i don't want to go over to my fathers house and stay with my mother. But he wants me to come over even though he yells at me and hates me. Yet he still gets pissed when I say I want to go back to my moms house. I kno the age is 14 when I get to choose between the two just that dont I have a right? A right to say who I get to stay with?

My mother has coustody of me but my dad has holodays and weekends

Answer 1

In many states a child in your situation has a right to have their own lawyer, appointed by the court, either for little or no cost. All you have to do is ask.

Find an adult you can trust, or ask your mom to ask her lawyer how to go about this. Once you have your own lawyer you have someone who can talk to the judge on your behalf. He can tell the judge how you feel, why you want things changed. He works for you and will advocate for your best interests.

As a side note, divorce is hard on everyone - especially the kids. I was an adult when my parents divorced and it was still awful. I still have trouble in my relationship with my dad. What you are going through is really, really hard. It would be great if you had others to talk to - like a support group for kids going through a divorce. Ask at school if there is anything like that in your community.

Good luck and remember you are not alone. This is a hard time but it will get better. Hopefully as you get older you will be able to work things out with your dad.

Answer 2

I am very sorry to read that you are in this situation.
I hope that there is a counselor at school that you can talk to about this but since it is vacation time, let me take a shot at this;;
YOUR FATHER DOES NOT HATE YOU!
He might have some other issues but if he hated you, he would just disappear like quite a few other fathers (i am sure that you have some friends who have fathers that they see once a year)
Your father might be under some other pressures (work, etc) that you dont know about.
Some people dont handle these things well and they shout at those they love without realizing it.
Trust me when I tell you, if he hated you he would not be pissed AT all if you went back to your mothers house or even too the moon.
Ever thought that it hurts his feelings that YOU want to spend more time with your mother.
NOt saying that it is right how he reacts just giving you a reason that he might be reacting this way.
Either way, I was hoping you could talk to your school counselor and maybe she could give dad a call and they could find a way to help him express himself a bit better.
YOu sound like a very intelligent young lady.
I am sorry your parents cant act more like you!

Answer 3

sometime you do at 14 and some time you do not. Talk to school counselor about how you feel, they are usually good at helping.You did not say who had custody of you, the mom or dad. You can only choose in court, not just because that is what you want to do. This has to go through the courts, your not 18 yrs old. One of the parents needs to get a lawyer, file paper work, let the judge decided if your choice is the right one.

Answer 4

Yours is a question that can not be answered here because the relationships are much more complex than can be told here. What I suggest is that you talk at some length with an adult councilor. Your school friends know you and may know your parents but lack the perspective of experience just as you do. Talking to each of your parents seriously helps of course but they are most likely in battle mode over you like they have been over enough things that they are in a divorce. So you need an outside councilor. Might be through a church or possibly through the courts or your school. By talking with you in more depth they will be able to advise you better and you will come to understand your feelings better.

Answer 5

The best thing to do is be honest about how you feel to both of your parents. If dad yells alot tell him it makes you uncomfortable and you feel he doesnt love you. When a parent hears those words it hits their heart and they will act on it. I'm not sure why you think you dad hates you it might be the divorce it getting messy and it can sometimes be taken out on the kids. And you do have a right in the courts eyes,You can say"you love them both very much, but feel more comfortable staying with your mom. Be honest with yourself and maybe they both need to hear how your feeling. I think he gets pissed at you because in reality he's really pissed at your mom.

Answer 6

Well the less of two evils is your mother if you are better off there then go there. No sense of making a worst situation even worst. You just tell your father that your mother needs you even if your mother claim she dont. That u can comfort each other in your own way. This way you show that you want to help our mother at the same time go where you rather be at.

Answer 7

I can tell you You Dad Love you as he loves your Mom.
At one time your mom and dad had you and you were every thing to them as they fed you and rocked you. I have a daughter who just turned 11 and I am her dad, and going through a divorce. My daughter feels the same way as you do, I want her to be happy and I want to feel the love back that I give her. There is a lot of hurt in any split up and all i can say is love them both I know your dad might yell at you but he is upset with himself as well as your mom for giving up on the family, Just remember one thing, Treat others the way you want to be treated at all times. I know its hard but if you do good things and say nice things they will come back to you. I have tryed it to my wife, the one who hates me and getting a divorce, when I saw her a few months ago I truly told her how nice she looked and that I enjoyed out time together. She couldn't say anything bad to me. parents don't want to fight, but if you are not helping the good then you are helping the bad. Hang in there, Your mom and dad do love you and don't want anything to hurt you.

Answer 8

I speak from experience here. You have a say from the time that you are able to make your own decisions. If you are protesting a judges decision then your parents will be required to hire a lawyer for you. Your own personal lawyer that takes care of your needs. I was 11 when I decided that it would be better if I lived with my father. My mom got pretty upset but it was decided that I was able to logically make this decision. In the end everythign worked out fine.

Answer 9

Talk to your mom and dad about this, let them know how you feel and why. Maybe the separation/breaking up of family is hitting your dad harder than you think. You just happen to be a reminder that he and your mom failed at marriage.
Your close to 14, just stick it out. It seems like a good chance to focus on your homework (who can yell at a kid when they are studying?)

Answer 10

In general, this varies from state to state.

If you feel strongly about this, you need to talk to your mother about it. It is possible (at any age) to amend the custody agreement to reduce or eliminate the need for you to spend time at your father's house. But, it's going to have to go back into court. If there is an existing agreement, you'll probably have to go back to court even when you turn 14 to get the existing agreement annulled.

But, you should start talking about this now...