Do I have a right to leave my husband when I have 2 Kids?

Question

I have been unhappy for 5 yrs with my husband. He never show any respects with me only he cares about himself and the kids. He never kiss or hugs and not interest to have sex. I have 2 kids ages are 16 and 12 yrs. He never want to do anything always watch tv and never spend time with me. He always talks nasty and yell at me for no reason. I feel he treat me unfairly and he would never change himself. I really would like to leave him and get my own place and I think I have found someone else that is better than he is. I have a feeling that he is using me for living and doesnt care or think of me. He mostly care the kids and we have gone to counseling but it doesnt help much. My husband's family never contact or come to visiting us. I have been unhappy and alot of stress with him for a long time . I would be happy to get on and meet someone else that can support me and care amd able to do alot of things. I have a feeling that he doesnt love me and I am not interest with him anymore.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like you have fully justified your sins. What were you needing from us again?

Answer 2

Well of course you have the right, silly girl. The question is; is it right? Everything you say about your relationship says there is something very central missing. Most women wont admit this but i will tell you honestly from a mans point of view. Sorry for the blunt-ness but here goes; after getting married and having children did you get fat, let yourself go, not take care of yourself the way you might have before? Not taking sides here but it is a valid question. If you can look in the mirror and honestly say you have given the relationship your absolute best then a separation may be less harmful for you and him and the children rather than stay together. The strong give up and move on, the weak give up and stay. Ive also heard that saying completely opposite, do what is going to be the healthiest alternative for all of you, especially your children. And unless he's abusive dont keep the children from him, thats really nasty business. Allow weekends or something for the children to continue to know you both.

Answer 3

When I was in the fifth grade, my parents split up. It was hard on me, but then I realized it was for the better, because the home was happier without yelling and without everyone under stress and feeling bad. And you have no right to be put through that. While your kids might not understand it at first, they will, and you will be making the right choice if your husband is treating you badly. You don't want your family to be in a home where there are always hard feelings and unhappiness. Once more, you don't deserve to be put through that, you deserve better. Go find someone else and leave him if he's being bad to you and you're constantly unhappy. No one deserves that.

Answer 4

It seems like you can support yourself, so go for it. I assume your biggest problem is the kids, so when your decision is final, sit them down and talk to them about it. I'm 16, and I lived through a parent split, and without a doubt I could handle another one. Make sure afterwards, the kids don't get the wrong side of the story, you find the right guy, and you don't let him come back to you.

Good luck! From your description there is nothing wrong, or in your way from you leaving him. make sure you have enough money though

I am almost 100% confident your kids can handle it, seeing as how your husband yells at you and talks nasty, I bet your kids know about it, and they know your relationship has tension. They understand you two aren't getting along, and have delt with parent troubles before.

Answer 5

This is what i think.If you feel you would like to leave him because you are not happy that's fine.Why should you be unhappy and you shouldn't just stay with him for the kids because that would be wrong.No matter when you leave they are going to be sad about it but they'll realise that it was for them and their best interests as well as your own.It doesn;t mean you can't see them again or have custody of them.As for leaving for someone else i don;t think thats very wise.You're probably at the point now where you see anyone that pays you attention as better than your husband.It sounds to me that you'll look for anyway out.Instead just leave your husband because you don't love him anymore.I hate when women are dependent on a man.Then the man knows he has control over the woman.I think this is sad.Hope i helped.Good luck.

Answer 6

Yes, of course if some guy is like that you always have the right to leave. no matter how long or how short you've been together. I guess he is no into this family he is doing it for the money and servise from you doing everything he thinks you'll do everything: wash the dishes, wash the clothes,make the dinner,Etc. Maybe you should stop doing all his servise for him and make him understand you're a person too.Like making dinner if he askes " where's dinner?" say sorry not im eating tonight. Let him see that doing things for you self gives confidince. never wash his clothes not to make him mad but to show him he needs to take charge some times and live like a real human being,

Answer 7

why be miserable... leave you have the right to leave at any time, and to correct the other person...whether you have kids or not has nothing to do with civil rights. Now if there is someone else in your life and you leave without the kids he can claim you abandoned them and that doesnt bode well for you in child custody court. Plus he would have grounds to get alamony from you. if you can afford it give an attorney 500$ and get separation papers to include you with the kids (if thats what you want) b4 he does. Dont forget all the community property you both obtained after thh marriage is split in half

Answer 8

What are you doing at home to improve your marriage? Or are you so set on leaving, that you aren't doing any thing? If you have found someone that is interested in you, just remember, "TWO WRONGS DON'T ONE RIGHT" You need to repair your own fence before letting someone else in. You will take the baggage you have from this marriage into the next relationship. This isn't fair to you, and above all else the next person. How does your kids feel about you leaving? They are old enough to be told! Maybe your husband seems to think more of your kids because that is the only thing left for him that the "caring" is returned. IF you have been so unhappy for a long time, why haven't you tried counseling just for yourself? without him! In alanon we learn to be concerned about "ourselves" not the alcoholic. We have learned to react in a dysfunctional way, so therefore we are as much of the problem as the alcoholic. If you do decide to leave somewhere down the road, make sure you have done all y ou could do, yourself, with or without him! You have invested a lot of time into this marriage, and now to just throw it all away???!!!! I've been married for 20 years the second time around, and 19 the first time. My first was molesting my youngest, so I left. Even though I am much happier now, I miss being "grandparents" with the kids dad. I don't miss him, but I do miss "what could of been." There's another way to look at this, is from the stand point of the Bible, adultery is the only grounds for divorce. However you can get a legal separation if there is reason to, such as abuse, him not providing for you, or him not helping you spiritually. But bare in mind, just because you get a legal separation, that doesn't give you grounds to go find someone else. I know this may sound harsh to you, but it is for our protection. (if he goes and finds someones first, then that frees you to do whatever you want) God knew that when a marriage breaks up it is easy to find someone else to live with married or otherwise, so his law protects us from bringing into another relationship all of our baggage from the first one. We need to heal from the first one; and take at least 10% of the responsibilty tor a marriage going sour. It isn't all his fault! When there is a marriage, it involves both of you not just one! Maybe your husbands sex drive is related to a physical ailment, such as diabetes or heart; or maybe it is emotional, related to your marriage! There's all kinds of things that interfere with our sex life. Maybe he's depressed! If you are unhappy, he probably is too! You two need to sit down and talk about where your marriage is going from here. YOU BE HONEST with him! If you can't talk to him, write him a letter and give it to him. If you have done every thing you can do, and the sun is shining, then you might consider leaving. But if you haven't tried EVERYTHING, such as counseling for just yourself, talking to your kids, and then honestly talking to him. But this isn't going to happen over night. YOUR marriage didn't get in this condition overnight, so it isn't going to get corrected overnight.

Answer 9

Well theres no point in waisting your life unhappy so get out if thats what you want to do. But make sure remember that your children are always #1 in your life, he sounds like a total waste and if he is not the man you once used to love then find someone who is going to overlove you ..and one day your husband will wake up and notice that hes way too late for sorrys..good luck !

Answer 10

So you've found someone already who is better than your husband to take care of you. Why don't you learn to stand on your own two feet and not hook up with someone else right away. I think your children are old enough to understand divorce and the reasons why it happens. He sounds like a good father who will always be in their lives. I'm not too sure about you though.

Answer 11

Of course you have the right to leave him.
But ... triggered by

"I would be happy to get on and meet someone else that can support me and care amd able to do alot of things."

before you start to look for another, first be happy with yourself. With a depending attitude the new man will treat you just like your husband does now. You can't be supported when you don't support yourself.