when i love him we have been together for 6 yrs...
2006-12-28 12:20:24 · 9 answers · asked by mizz_spoiled_bratt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fighting is energizing. You can mistake that for a positive feeling. You can create nasty cycles where you and your partner ignore each other, then pick a stupid fight and then make up and have sex. After a while it can become the only path to physical intimacy, like a bad habit. An argument is a way to get your partner to give you attention. It's not a healthy way to get attention, but it's attention just the same.
You also could be taking out other frustrations that have nothing to do with your husband. Maybe you hate your boss. Maybe you just had a fight with your sister. A husband is an easy target when you just want to yell at somebody. It's not fair to him, but it does make you feel better.
You can break the cycle by finding new ways to have enjoyable experiences with your husband. I highly recommend couples therapy as a starting point.
By the way, minor arguments here and there are totally normal, even in a happy and secure marriage.
2006-12-28 12:24:04 · answer #1 · answered by Madame 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There may be something on your mind that you have not been able to discuss with him. When things happen we must discuss them at that time. Some times we are fussing about something that happens weeks, or even months ago, and now you don't have any ideal what the problem is. Sit down with him and try to get him to understand that you are not sure what's going on with you. Maybe the two of you can come up with a solution that will be pleasing to you both. You say you love him so give him your all and let go of the arguments. Arguments can lead to destruction. You don't want to give up on a six year relationship and you don't even know why. Sometimes we are living such a stressful live that others pay for it. It okay just start over now before it gets to be to late. Love is what love does. Keep it together.
2006-12-28 22:18:32 · answer #2 · answered by relationcounseling 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because obviously he is doing something to get on your nerves but instead of just going to the source of the problem your nitpicking instead.....I sometimes do this as well to my husband LOL!!! I guess cuz sometimes I just know somethings he does he is just not going to change and I get aggrivated about that but fuss about something else!! LOL
2006-12-28 20:25:36 · answer #3 · answered by I wanna stay on maternity leave! 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I sometimes start fights with my boyfriend when there is something big bothering me that I know I can't do anything about. It feels "good" to get your frusteration out but the best advice I can give it to try and identify the source of the problem.
2006-12-28 20:34:38 · answer #4 · answered by shell 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I used to do the same thing when my husband and I were dating. I did it because I was afraid of getting hurt. I didn't want to get hurt so I tried to hurt him before he had a chance to hurt me. You may just be afraid of commitment.
2006-12-28 20:32:09 · answer #5 · answered by Jesse's Girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know but I fought with my wife when we were not married and we still fight. Maybe it's a sign ... It's better to call things off now that to think you can change him and wait 20 years and still be pissed at him ...
2006-12-28 20:26:52 · answer #6 · answered by sparetom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you might like to argue. It can be fun. At the very least it's engaging...something that the two of you do together with a passion.
2006-12-28 20:22:55 · answer #7 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You just need to find a better way to spend time with him. Do you like being picked on? I don't think anyone does.
2006-12-28 20:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by E! 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Possibly attention.
2006-12-28 20:24:56 · answer #9 · answered by eniomelmahnarb 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋