Emotional Wreck!! Help........?

Question

I recently left my husband and started having an affair with a married man who also wants to leave his wife. I broke off the affair because it was making me an emotional wreck, but I am deeply in love with this man and he says he is in love with me. He says he wants to leave his wife, but can not give me a timeframe on how long it will take she is not from this country. He keeps me emotionally attached by ending phone conversations with a future in mind. He tells me when he takes care of his mess we will be together. How do I know if he is for real

Answer 1

You already know he's NOT real. He hasn't left his wife and put a ring on your finger.

Answer 2

If you were married before you should know better. If someone is going to cheat with you what makes you think they won't cheat on you? People will tell you anything that they think you would want to hear. This man has the best of both worlds. He has a wife and a side fling. He is going to tell you what you want to hear to keep you around as long as he wants you to be there. He knows you are not going anywhere and he is using that to his advantage. If he truely wanted to be with you he wouldn't keep giving you excuses. He is with his wife for a reason and if he didn't want to be there he wouldn't. If someone loves you they give you their all not excuses. Thats why he can't give you a timeframe. Wake up and realize what he is doing. That's why alot of people take others for granted, because they give a good line and dummies fall for it, then they keep stringing them along. That's what he sees you as is his dummy...

Answer 3

Statistically, most men leave their wives because the men have a wandering eye. And women leave because their husbands have a wandering eye. Now, I don't know your situation, but do you know his? Maybe he has a wandering eye. Men's explanation for "unhappy" is often "I want to be with more women and my wife is no longer what she used to be 10 years ago." I am sorry to hear you left your husband for this new man who seems to have not much going in the fidelity department. My advice is beg your husband to take you back. The new one is a loser. Also, his wife is foreign? What is he? You sure he doesn't want a GREEN CARD? Lady, I would not be surprised if he left you soon after he got the green card? I pray you see the light before your own family remembers you as the "slut".

Answer 4

I simply don't understand why must you get yourself involved with a married man. You know you're hurting his wife so much. Even though he may want to leave his wife. Aren't you worried that there'll be retribution for you? He can leave his wife now, he can also leave you in future? Wake up!!! You both may be deeply in love but have you heard the saying "when you really love someone, let him/her go". Anyway, men will be men! When you're in love, everything seems wonderful but there will come a time when love dies...if he can betray his wife now, he can also do the same for you. Go get yourself someone better! Not a married man....!

Answer 5

Be patient, specially if you love him the way you said. I don't think he is cheating on his wife for no reason. Sometimes a marriage fails and it takes time to figure that out. Don't expect a time frame, because it's impossible to tell. They have a family and a history together,reasons enough to hold him back. Wait and time will tell you what is the best way to go.
For now try to think a little more of you, enjoy things that you haven't done in a long time and keep you mind busy so you won't think of this whole thing.
Maybe some time apart will be good for both of you to figure out what to do. Take one day at a time and be patient. If his love is true, he will come back to you.

Answer 6

He's not for real. He is not going to leave his wife.

You may be different but most married people do not leave their spouses. Most people have affairs in order to escape reality not to create a new one.

It's time to face the truth. Let go of him and make a new life. You will remain an emotional wreck as long as you stay connected to a man who can't commit to you. Find some one who can.

Answer 7

gurl u're in trouble. I don't want to say that this always happens but 9 ntimes out of ten, married men will not leave their wife for their mistress which is what u are right now.
Stop it before u wrap you're life so far around him u lose sight of reality. Don't let people pay with you're emotions. Tell him to call you when you can see the divorce papers in writting. I'm sure you will get a different vibe from him then.

Answer 8

It sounds real but he will have trouble leaving his wife. If he can't you are stuck in an "affair". Since you are single that won't be fair to you. You deserve better. You might consider telling him to sort things out and make a decision. Give him a deadline - like in a week or so. He has to decide.

Answer 9

By just asking the question, you already know it's not for real. You now realize that you have really screwed up and you need to get over this. He could keep jerking you around for years. But how do you get away from him? Ignore him, don't call him etc... I don't know your age, friends, or even your social situation, but you really need to get out there and have some fun.... Especially after your divorce. If it was really meant to be, first set him free. In time he may come back single. You will be long gone.

Answer 10

Your emotions are agoing crazy at this point. Your own relationship with your husband is a disaster and you feel you need someone there that cares and wants you for you. For whatever he was lacking in your relationship you crave in a new one. The facts are though with a married man you aren't going to find what your looking for because if he really loved you like he said he'd have done left her too like you did your husband. It is a hard thing to do, but if you did it why can't he? You seem like a good person who just wants to be loved in all the right ways. you keep your chin up and he will come along. Try not to hold your breath on the married guy even though I know that is so much easier said than done. If you ever need someone to talk to, my yahoo screen name is amy2903. Just message me anytime. Take care. ~Amy

Answer 11

If he was for real, he would have left her already. I know it's been said before but I can't stress this enough, ladies. If he did it to her, he'll do it to you. If he was a decent person, he would've broken it off with her before starting anything with you. Even if she is from another country, there is no reason that he could not help her once they were divorced. That's just an excuse to keep you hanging on. There are plenty of other guys around, move on.