2006-12-28 11:26:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
You would need to make a judgment call and ask the question "am I being walked over?" If the answer is yes, then you would need to adopt an assertive style - because once you allow people to break your boundaries, where they begin to abuse you, it is unacceptable. People need boundaries to know how to behave. If you don't socialise the people around you, then everyone will start to break down your boundaries.
2006-12-28 14:18:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you can be nice, but assertive at the same time. You do not have to be rude when being assertive at all. I live in the south and most women and men are very assertive. It is a doubled edge sword thing. You would be amazed at how ,"Well isn't that nice" ,can mean so many different things!
2006-12-28 23:19:27 · answer #2 · answered by cookie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be nice and assertive at the same time.
Being "nice" isn't about being a doormat, and being "assertive" doesn't always repel others.
Be comfortable with who you are. Not everyone will like you, but if you are respectful of others yet maintain comfortable boundaries, you can have the best of both worlds.
2006-12-28 19:35:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my experience Nice guy\girls DO finish last.
If you're too nice, you become a prime target
every time. In some, if not most situations,
it pays to be assertive.
Sometimes, I would think to myself:
If I were an ****** to those who
try to take advantage of my kindness
would I be respected or resented?
In the end, it's all about sticking up for yourself.
Because some people will always mistake
kindness for weakness.
2006-12-28 19:52:08 · answer #4 · answered by donnerdinnerparty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been dubbed as "the nice guy". Oh he's so "sweet", he's really a "nice guy"! I've heard it so much it makes me sick. Not really. But when you are nice to everyone, people tend to task advantage of you. So I have learned, yes you need to be assertive in many situatuions, only you will know where and when. It's part of growing up, I'm 44. I'm still learning, and yes, I'm still getting sh@t on!
2006-12-28 19:32:57 · answer #5 · answered by Brian Z 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can be nice with out letting people walk all over you. Be assertive in a pleasant way, don't let people say and do things to you that make you feel inferior.....it will take practice but you can do it. Let themknow how you feel in a stern voice, they will get the picture and will stop walking all over you
Go for it!!
2006-12-28 19:33:41 · answer #6 · answered by Lolitta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh,for heavens sake!!be assertive!!!dont let people walk on u-y would anyone do that?!? who cares if certain people avoid u?what,people object if u stand up and protect urself-u dont need people like that anyway,so y care if they avoid u?dont be a doormat just to keep someone ur friend-they atre not really ur friend,they wont respect u-and true friendship is built on equal amounts of mutual affection and respect.
2006-12-28 19:32:56 · answer #7 · answered by Adriel M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how you look at it. on one hand do you really want people to know you as a pushover that people can make to do anything. You definitely want to be a little assertive but not rude. Don't always just push people around and be rude but don't be all shy and again a pushover
2006-12-28 19:40:00 · answer #8 · answered by djhiccup246 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know of no reason why you can't be both. I am assertive but nice about it.
2006-12-28 19:31:54 · answer #9 · answered by gntolng 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's good to be nice but not all of the time cause there are some nasty people out there that must be squashed like insects.
2006-12-28 19:30:44 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Complicated-World♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋