Well, my husband almost never tries to have sex with me. He calls me sex addict when during the last year, we may have had sex once or twice a month with my own innitiative and after me being so frustrated to threaten him of leaving him. Considering the fact that we just got married for one year. He says all I think is sex and my problem is just not having sex. That's not true, because if I was, I would have cheated on him. And I try to explain to him that what's the difference between a sister-brother relationship and marriage: of course sexual intimacy. But he says he is always busy thinking about our problems. I say well, problems never go away, but we are missing a great opportunity of close intimacy. First, I was thinking there might be a problem in me, but he admits that I am a beautiful, attractive girl and all my past relationships are evidences to me that I never had this problem. We had 10 year long distance relationship before marriage. And now I am pregnant, even worse.
2006-12-28 11:23:43 · 37 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sex once or twice a month is hardly a "sex addict"!! He's got a problem, I'd say he was impotent, but your last sentence proves that to be wrong, at least that one time anyway. Is he older than you? The "thinking about our problems" excuse is just that, an excuse. Something's wrong dear, and it's not you. Ask him to go to counseling, if he refuses.......just because you are pregnant, doesn't mean you have to stay. You will survive.
2006-12-28 12:49:11 · answer #1 · answered by ksgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as though your husband has the problem - some kind of hang up about sexual intimacy. Can you get counsellng somehow? I know this is wrong, but if a woman or a man is deprived of this sort of intimacy for too long the temptation to cheat becomes overwhelming. Clearly you love him and will be able to find a way through this - it is very easy for relationships to become brother/sister like - and even though you are only recently married, you have known each other for over 10 years - so it sounds to me as though he has got past the "lust "phase, and is suffering from the "madonna/whore" complex - ie wives are good people, worthy of love in the platonic sense, and not to be degraded with sex, which is equated somewhere in their minds with dirty and degrading acts - all completely wrong of course - also don't underestimate the fact that if you are pregnant he may psychologically feel unwilling to make love to you as he may feel that he is harming the baby in some way. Not true, but alll these things may be going on in his mind.
2006-12-28 11:28:31 · answer #2 · answered by Miss Behavin 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some people have higher sex drives then others. Sounds as though your husband has a low lobedo. Tell him to go to the doctor and seek treatment and see what is going on. You are not a sex addict he is just trying to find something wrong with in you so the blame will not be on his low sex drive. Try to focus on building him up instead of always bringing up how much sex you two do not have. When you two do have sex tell him how great it was and how you would like to have more of that.
2006-12-28 17:58:20 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he enjoy the sex. I hate to ask this but could he be gay?
Could you not discuss this problem with your doctor or a counselllor? It could be he has a psychologicproblem, does he feel inadequate in any way? If he won't talk to you about it then you need to talk to a third party about it.
You say you have only been married for1 year and only had sex once or twice a month, the fact you are pregnant now can't explain why you had sex so infrequently prior to you discovering this - he obviously has the problem not you. Wanting to make love to your husband in the most natural thing in the world, so don't let him make you feel guilty or in the wrong.
Good luck to you and your baby
2006-12-28 11:33:03 · answer #4 · answered by PMF 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lady may have sex each and each and every time. a guy can basically do it at the same time as his problem is complicated. He can tell if that's not a superb time and the sex would not be very solid. He might want to do something for you besides, yet what number women would try this? I hear of females declaring i'm not interior the mood for all time, and imagine, So what? they could get interior the mood at the same time as they are doing it, and why not do it basically because your significant different is interior the mood? It sounds like you all have become alongside ok. i'd imagine each and every man or woman would opt for his or her spouse/husband to have the perfect sex existence conceivable.
2016-10-16 22:12:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are normal in sex and it seems he is not. But it never means you should cheat on him, forget him, forget you need or leave him. All these ways are escaping from problem. you should fight and over come it.
first talk about it so much. if there are important problems in your man's mind, try to help him to over come them. Ask him to consider your needs.
next, talk to a sexual consultant or a doctor. they help you to undrestand the problem and show you the best ways.
provide a sexual atmosphere when you want him for sex. use cloths, films and change your behave in a way he WANT it either.
never say him, he has a problem. do not let him think, he is weak or has disability. just talk about it as a natural problem which must be solved.
2006-12-31 19:37:42 · answer #6 · answered by mhrhashemi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you are normal. Sometimes though when a woman is pregnant, it turns the guy off. I think you need to evaluate your marriage. Women often use sex to try and feel more secure instead of facing the real problems.
2006-12-28 11:27:10 · answer #7 · answered by dana j 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No you are completely normal, don't listen to him!!!!
There is obviously a deeper problem.
Maybe focus on the non-sexual elements of your life that can still bring you together
- massage him
- have a bath
- suprise him
Make him feel special, it may be all he needs. If not, try some counselling together.
Don't doubt yourself, there is nothing wrong with you
2006-12-28 23:10:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that sucks. I am in the same boat as you. I want more sex. But my hubby doesn't want another child and I do. So his solution is to just not have sex anymore.
It sounds to me like you could do with some counseling because there seems to be a big difference in your outlook on marriage.
2006-12-28 11:29:42 · answer #9 · answered by jlgj 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no your not an addict, once or twice a month is not enough. Why is it that when a women asks for more sex, everyone agrees that she should be getting it, but when a man wants more sex he's told that he should be more understanding of all her other needs and he's the one being unreasonable.
2006-12-28 12:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by superstar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋