Divorce: Dad won't leave our house....?

Question

My dad is divorcing my mom (no reason besides him trying to make her change....again), and he won't leave the house. There is so much tension going on that I have even had to see a psychiatrist. I have told him a countless number of times that I don't feel comfortable with him in the house, but he always mumbles something about how this is my moms fault. There are 3 kids in the house besides me, and he is trying to make us choose "sides." He is trying to make this into some sort of competition mom, and it is driving me insane. What makes me get depressed about this is about how he was never involved in my life until now, a divorce, and he's only doing it so that he can try to gain custody of all four of us. He doesn't even see us as people. He sees us as possesions. What should I do? Has this happened to anyone else? Is there any way to get him out of the house? (he is only there because if he left, it would mean that he did something 'wrong')

I couldn't fit all of this in before:


Even if I wanted to side with him, I just couldn't. I'm not trying to choose sides, but he has never actually acknowledged that I am his daughter, he never calls me by my name, he has never gone to a single one of my concerts (I play viola), he abuses my brother and threatens us to not call the police because he is the one paying for our education, he is making my mom who is a stay at home mom pay the morgage, and goes on dating sites and tells us all about the people he meets. How am I supposed to live with this monster?

Answer 1

HE's the one filing, so if he couldnt afford it, its on him. Your mom (as well as ALL of the children) are having a problem with him there. WHAT is this mans problem? Why is he blaming you telling him how you feel on your mom?

sorry to hear he's putting you in the middle of this adult issue, making you feel as if you have to chose sides. its a common thing where one parent doesnt see the kids, and then all of a sudden they decide they are what is best for the children.

in any case, you are old enough to testify in court what your wishes are. i would also testify as to what you just said here.

if your hurt, odds are so are the others. the court needs to know.

hang in there baby and stay strong.

Answer 2

I accept as true with you that it is no longer a good situation; in spite of the undeniable fact that, it relatively is a few thing that your mom needs to manage with your dad. you could show your opinion on your dad, yet you're too youthful to make demands on the adults. And, it relatively is on no account of your place to confront your dad's pal. considering the fact that your mum and dad have been divorced and now back at the same time it would seem to me that your dad could be extra involved approximately cementing the family participants relationship than with putting out along with his pal.

Answer 3

Sorry to hear this (but you have already chosen sides), I don't know how much your father makes but he may not be able to afford to move out and still pay bills at the current resident.

Also that is still his house until the judge say otherwise, so why should he move? Your mother could move out of the house temporarily, if it to much of a problem for her.

This is their problem (you shouldn't be stressing over it), but it does (like all divorces) hurt every one in the house.

P.S: I hope your parents can work out their problems without causing more pain to their children.

Answer 4

Unfortunately, you as a child are probably not going to be able to do anything to get him to leave. The only thing I can suggest is show solidarity with your mother, and encourage you siblings to do the same.

Answer 5

Your father is head of the house...obey him. However, try to convince him not to put away your mom. Tell your mom to be more submissive and ask your dad to be more loving towards her. Hopefully things will change.