fell in love 9 years ago, spent first two years with her, still can't get her out of my mind.?

Question

even though i've been married since, not one day has gone by without her being in my mind. how do i get over her?

Answer 1

i find myself in your situation kinda, if even now you are not over her give her a call or something unless you are not going mad. Hard to say though

Answer 2

do you consciously make an effort to think about her?
was it a bad split between you two and you are more obsessing about how you could have done things differently?
or is she just on your mind?
is it love you are feeling or if your honest with oneself did you think about her so much at the end that it has become more like a bad habit? i mean 9 years is a damn long time! you spent 2 years with her and 3 times that still obsessing about her!
the longest it took me to get over an ex was a year! a pretty hard one at that! but now when i think of her its no more than remembering some random person i met years ago!
i really think you need to go and seek help and i mean that in the nicest possible way! it's not healthy for you or your wife!
you really need to break the habit here because it is just going to manifest over the years!
for your own sake mate go and see a doctor and be honest with him or her! accept that this is not normal and go for some counselling or something!
mate i wish you all the best but you have to let go seriously!
take care!

Answer 3

Why did you split up if you were so happy? Is she still in love with you? Is it infatuation over what you can't have? Are you willing to leave your wife to be with her? It's not fair to your wife to be with you if you are truly in love with someone else. Sort all these things out and make a decision that is right for the three of you. In your heart you know what to do. If she's really the one nothing will stop you from being together. Good luck!
My boyfriend pursued me after marrying someone else and loosing contact for 12 years. True love can prevail even through critisism of others. Don't listen to others listen to your heart and mind.

Answer 4

Oh Sh.it...
I feel so sad for you Sweetie...for once I'm stuck for words. Go very carefully with this one Babe...Maybe you can try to get in touch (if you know where she is) & arrange a meeting, you never know you may see her again & suddenly realise you're not actually still in love with her at all...it does happen you know.
You have to be ready though for the possibility that she could be madly in love with another...may not even think about you at all...or could even feel the same way as you & you'll both set off into the sunset together..
Beware though Sweetie, if she doesn't feel the same way & you meet her setting off the feelings to the point of being unbearable to live with...this could well break up your current marriage....If you don't know where she is then how you're going to even start to forget her is beyond me I'm afraid.
I wish I had a magic wand for you...good luck.

Answer 5

The only way to get over it is to find her and see her again. She could be this big fat slob and thank god you never acted on it or she could be just as beautiful as the day you saw her. even if things are going good they cant be that good if your thinking of someone else. So maybe you should take it as a sign and do some mind research.

Answer 6

Is there a chance you could meet accidently on purpose and see if she still feels the same way about you? If not then I guess you will have to just live with the fact that it's better to have loved once than never to have loved at all.

I wonder if any of my ex's think the same about me.

Answer 7

I know how you feel. been in same position myself and now over 30 yrs gone by he is still a beautiful memory but its took a lot of years for me to get over him. We all have one special love some of us are lucky enough to have ended up with them others not so lucky. At least we have our memories. Time is a great healer. Be grateful for what you have not its the present thats important. get on with your life now

Answer 8

having had experience of this i feel for you and its horrible. The only thing i can say is time is a great healer and although it doesn't feel like it now it will get easier. Use the relationship as a learning curve, you have had something special that some people never have in there lives. if the relationship is meant to rekindle, it will in time.

Answer 9

we never forget those we fall in love with. try to think of why you split up in the first place. All you can really do is try to concentrate on the wife you have got now. Are you happy with your current wife? as sometimes when we are not happy with our current relationships we naturally think of our better past relationships. Or maybe its just a habit you have got yourself into by thinking about her, try not to let yourself think of her.
If you were meant to be with your ex you,d still be together now and your not.

Answer 10

there are special loved ones we may never get over, but we still have our good memories of them, maybe it has something to do with our expectations of who we are with did not quite get met, maybe we remember the parts of it that we choose to. u get over it by focusing on the here and now, because a part of u will always be with her, and in a way your cheating your mate and holding that part back from them.

Answer 11

She probably has you out of her mind and you are married now, so you can keep those happy memories but you need to move on.