Ugh. I feel so ugly. (sounds like whining but plz?)?

Question

Okay. I'm 5'3 tall, 110 lbs,14 yrs, really dark hair, beige skin, brown eyes. I hate how i look, because i feel like everyone lies to me. everyone tells me that i'm skinny, i have nice teeth, and that i'm pretty. i feel horribly short i wanna be so much TALLER! and i feel like i'm chubby, i could be skinnier, when everyone repeatedly tells me that i'm not chubby at all. i wanted braces for FOREVER, but my family and friends all say that i have nice teeth and that i don't need braces! also, ppl always say that i'm pretty, but i'm horribly unphotogenic, short, and like, the OPPOSITE of what you would call pretty. thats what i think. but everyone keeps telling me the opposite. i mean, they ARE my friends,but i think they're lying so that they don't hurt my feelings. what should i do? i hate this SO much, i feel like i can't trust what they say about my looks, and when i tell them to be honest, they always say that they ARE being honest. Does anyone have this problem?? what should i do??

Answer 1

Laugh - First a big hug sent your way. Being 14 is hard and you are being very, very hard on yourself. Your height and weight I envy, lol...but I realize you are not "skinny". I suspect your are rather healthy looking over all, lol. I have three sons, all fantastic looking guys (they are grown) and they have told me time and again that nothing turns them off more than a skin and bones woman.

There will come a time when you will be free to get braces or do whatever you want to feel better about yourself. For now, perhaps you could do a few things which would make you feel better about you NOW.

Try having your makeup done and having someone teach you how to acenuate your positive features. The same with clothes, find someone who can help you choose clothes that make the most of your body style...and make you feel GOOD about you. Have you nails done to make your hands feel attractive. Keep your teeth healthy and white and make a beautiful smile.

Go to the gym and talk to a trainer and explain to them where you feel you could use improvement. They will design an exercise program just for you.

Go have some of those glamour shots done...they were so popular for a while but I am not sure they are still done widely, but I know that my cousin who is a photographer does them...and very well.

Best of luck...and most of all remember to bring out the beauty inside you, that is the most important of all.

GBY

Answer 2

First off, I'd like to tell you that at this point of your life, the mirror's blurry for you. I remember when I was 13-14 (:] ok, ok, maybe that was just last year, but STILL) I wasn't happy a bit with the way I looked. I was bony(then fat), my face was fat, I had a horrid dent in my chin, I had a huge gap in my teeth, my nose stuck out, my face was always greasy, my eyes were too close together, my complexion too red, and the list goes on(and on, and on). I hated the way I looked. Now I look at the mirror, and see someone with a fairyish face, with cheerful upturned eyes, a cute nose that does a little curve up, and even the chin adds to the effect. My skin is rosy, and I look cheerful. I am comfortably curved, not plump but no sharp bony angles. What's changed? Not me, at least not much. I look basicly the same as I did last year. The only change, is one that comes to almst all girls; a gracefull maturing all around. What changed? My self image. How I saw myself. My mom and friends have seen the same person all the time, but I felt during those years that they were either being partial, or flattering me. Now I see myself the same way they see me.
The only thing about myself I still dislike is my gap in my teeth. It's the worst one I've ever seen, almost as if a whole nother tooth belongs there. But even my opinion on that has softened. My teeth are straight, and a nice shade of white, one that matches my complexion to a t.

So you may not look like someone on a magazine cover. Did you know they don't either? They docter those photos to no end. Relax. Worrying won't help it, and may actually hinder it. A worried face certainly doesn't look as becoming as a happy one.

Cheer up. Half of your worries will be gone, either by a changed view, or by natures handiwork itself by next year, and the net year will take care of a few more. If it would make you feel better, find every single one of your physical faults and find a actress or model that has that exact one. Don't look on magazine fronts, by the way. I'm sure if you look long enough you can. And they're still pretty, right? Now look at all your good features. I can bet you they don't have some of them. Yes. You'll find some, don't be a skeptic.

And a final thing, you can still grow a little, which you probably will. Andshort people can be as pretty as tall people, and aren't subject to a lot of their troubles.

And if you are still unsatisfied, try making your personality 'prettier' than anyone elses.

Answer 3

Hmm, I'd say that most girls your age have this problem. I think a lot of what you are feeling comes from the media. Everybody has it pounded into their heads that if you aren't skinny and perfect, you aren't beautiful. There aren't many people that are like the supermodels of today. Besides, an airbrush cures a LOT. Have you ever seen Sandra Bullock smile? She sucks at taking pictures. Look at yourself in the mirror. Are your teeth crooked? If so, wait a while. Your mouth will still change over time. 5'3" isn't too short, and 110 pounds is not too heavy. You can still grow. After all, you might get a growth spurt sometime soon. Remember, teens are developing years. You still have a chance to gain a few inches. A lot of it is in the genes as well. We can't all look like Brad Pitt and Jessica Biel (yeah, she's a fox). Your friends may be trying to spare your feelings. However, you may just need to take them at their word. It may be that you just have a self-esteem problem, which lots of us do....myself included. If guys are telling you are pretty, believe them. Nowadays, guys have a good idea of what's pretty--remember that they too are bombarded with all the glamour of Hollywood. Brad Pitt is only about 5'6" I believe...not too much taller than you! You do have a great advantage with having olive/dark skin. Usually those types age VERY well, and they look OH SO GOOD when they get a bit older. Check out Tia Carrera, Catherine Zeta Jones, J-Lo, to name a few. Most importantly, beauty is only skin deep. Make yourself beautiful on the inside if you aren't already. This is also very attractive. You can be hot like Jessica Simpson and uppity, and that's not very attractive in the long run. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

At 14 you can expect to have a growth spurt or 2 so don't worry about how tall you are right now. We have grown into a culture where only the thin are considered beautiful. If your are uncomfortable with how you look may I suggest a therapist. You are at an age where eating disorders can develop and a therapist can help you become comfortable with yourself.

Another thing you can do is join a health club (but you have to go) even if you go for 30 min a day that's more activity than you're getting now, talk to your parents about it. Now is the time that almost every gym has some sort of special going on.

I to am extremely unphotogenic, in fact I've never taken a picture that I liked! I learned I will never like a picture of myself until I am comfortable with how I look. Remember, genetics takes a roll in how you look, but you do have control over your build.

Talk to your doctor before you begin exercising and make sure you're healthy enough or else you can hurt yourself. If you make little changes you will see big results but it takes time.

Keep another thing in mind the phrase "no pain no gain" is a bunch of crap. Sure you should feel a burn while working out but if it's painful then you are doing damage and you probably won;t keep it up.

Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 5

Generally speaking, this tends to happen when we're not falling under the category of "pretty" as per People magazine. Unfortunately, these "people" have entire GLAM SQUADS to keep them beautiful, perky, in shape, perfectly tanned and decked out in only the most stylish threads, even if it is just Starbucks run. "Normal" people (like you n' me) don't have this luxury, so to speak, so we end up falling short 99% of the time to these false parameters of what's considered attractive.

The most important aspect of all this is one word: confidence. If you can somehow muster the confidence to realize your upsides (petite, nice complexion), I think it can snowball in the right way to a much healthier self-image. Granted, it can take years, but making that first move can work wonders. Off hand, I'd say to take up some activity that you might like (a hip hop class, for example), where you can flower into the true individual that lies beneath the surface. And absolutely count all your positive traits. For example, with your beige skin, you'll rarely get sunburned.

Once you get that confidence, you'll be able to walk tall, be 1,000% more sure of yourself, and really start enjoying life.

Good luck!

Answer 6

Forget about the way you feel inside because with beige skin brown
eyes and dark hair and at5 feet 3 inches and only 14 and still growing when you are 18 a lot of people are going to be pretty keen
to be seen out with you.DON'T TRY TO GET SKINNIER.
Skinny people look as bad as people who are obese and you sound as if you are going to be a nice in between.Judging by your description of yourself there is a good chance that you are pretty.

Answer 7

AH! aighh, i'm 14, but i'm turning 15 on Jan.1st... lol, jus addin' that in:) n e waiz - coming from an honest girl ur age > u seem very insecure and unconfident. i use to b the same way, n it's sad that younger and younger girls are having to deal with this depressing issue. i'm sure your friends are getting pretty worried if you're becoming more and more concerned about your looks. i mean, 110 pnds -chubby??? ok... if you're a dwarf.
not everyone's a tall, anorexic model, hopefully you aren't the type to follow the stupid media. but the point is, if you're confident and secure with yourself - for who you are - different from others and unique to yourself... than that should bring out the best in you<3

Answer 8

Lots of teenagers have this problem - I did, but over pimples. 5'3" and 110 lbs is NOT fat. Not even chubby! And if you diet too much, you won't get taller.
You'll just have to accept your height, ultimately, unless you want to go through really painful and expensive surgery to lenghten your legs. Petite girls and women are desirable. Your height and weight would be a plus on a cheerleading team, and it's much easier to hide if you're small.
Find something you enjoy doing, and concentrate on that. While you're concentrating on having fun, other good things can happen. And if you can't trust your friends, who can you trust?

Answer 9

First- stpp putting yourself down! You are 14 and have a long life ahead of you. You and your body will change. Your friends and family are telling you the truth- you are pretty! Don't forget that beauty is also within- so you are no doubt a beautiful person all around!

You may want to consider talking to a counselor about your worries. The counselor can help you see how your truly are and make suggestions on how to improve your self-image.

Ask your parents to help you with this. Get some good exercise and eat properly. This will also help you physically and emotionally.

Answer 10

I know what you mean I feel that I am aesthetically deficient too. Here are some ideas.
Find a Zoltar machine and wish you were big.
Start hanging out with ugly people.
Find something you love to do so much that you don't care what other people think.
Find a way to help others so people can see that no matter how good or bad looking you are on the outside you are an exceptional person on the inside.