Fiance leaving because i don't get along with his mother.?

Question

Has anyone out there had any experiences with their husband/boyfriend/fiance leaving them because their mom does not like the girl or the girl does not like his mother. My fiances mother is very controlling, nosy, loves to gossip and she and fiance both admit he is a mamas boy and that she is his best friend and all that crap, and lately i cannot stand it--she knows all our business and does not stop---my fiance thinks that this is ok, never takes my side against her, never stands up to her for himself or me, and i cannot stand this. I think that if i do not start being able to deal with it, he will leave me. How do i cope if he leaves me for his mother? I often feel like he is dating her and that her opinion counts more than mine! I know this is dysfunctional but how do i make him see this? I don't know what to do and my engagement will be ending if this is not solved? Do i really make him choose, because i heard you are not supposed to, and i get the feeling that i will lose!

Answer 1

you don't sound like a match made in heaven. Let him go back to mama until he's ready to grow up.

Answer 2

GET OUT AND GET OUT NOW!!!! Never date a mama's boy! Mother is controlling because she has a LOT of issues surrounding men and intimacy and projects them all through her son, making him her angel, star, and main man of the house. Of course he does not realize this and will not ever. Leave now!!! There is no way you will be able to make him understand or get her help because neither thinks or knows this is a problem or a bad thing. Don't put up with this. Break up with him and do it now and tell him why.
I broke up with a guy in high school who's mother was this way, it is 7 years later and he is still living with her and hasn't dated much since high school.
If an adult man or woman cannot be independent from their family's influence to run their own lives then that person cannot share their life with another.

Answer 3

You don't need to make him stop seeing his mother, but he must choose to grow up, and be a man. The bible shows that when a couple wed, the two become one flesh, and the man must leave his father and mother, and stick to his wife.
Is he willing to do that for you? You must remember that marriage is between the two of you and God the creator of marriage. Not between you and his family.
Believe me when I say this, "A mama's boy will not change his ways, unless he grows up." Your guy sounds so immature.
Kids should respect their parents, but the parents must let their children have a life. This is what we as parents are to do. Train up a boy or girl, so they can make it on their own at adulthood.
If he is planning to be a father some day, he can't be hiding under his mothers skirt tail.
Love hurts sometimes, we all know this. But we all have the right to be with someone who will support us, and love us. A person who will choose to be with us, despite what others think about us.
Mamas boys are insecure, and every time there is a fight, will run to the mother. Fights between a couple should be personal.
If you really love this person, tell him you know he loves his mother alot. But he must be reasonable about your relationship. He must support you, and show he is committed to you.
Tell him to not let his mother put you down.
If he can't do it, then maybe you should get out before you end up being married to this guy and his mother.

Answer 4

A man is supposed to leave his family and cleave to his wife, Some mother cannot let the children out from under them..If she really loved him she would want to try to get along with you because you could have been the mother of his children...IF he leaves you then so be it, you do not need that kind of little boy...He is not a man if he cannot make his own choices in life. Be glad he is gone, and that you are not married. he will be sorry in the long run....

Answer 5

His relationship with his mother is stronger than that with you. She birth him into the world. But this is a red flag that you should really weigh the pros and cons of marriage. His mother is in your business because he allows it. She has no way of finding out what's going on unless he tells her. He may have a close bond to his mother and if you attempt to break that bond then you will be putting your relationship in jeopardy. And if you ask him to chose, he will most likely chose her over you. You can talk with him and let him know that you will not be marrying his mother but him. And that you two should try to be sensible adults and learn to work out your problems without getting her involved. Try to establish a relationship with her by talking about things she enjoys. Find out her likes and dislikes and discussed them with her. Hopefully this will take the eye off you and your fiance'. If not, then you really need to consider whether it is worth getting any closer. Good Luck!!

Answer 6

hi Tiffany, you won't like what i'm writing yet merely study it and picture approximately it: on the instant is all some toddler, his B-day, and the affection of his existence: mom & Dad; the two maximum mandatory human beings in his little international at this given time. it is all the toddler knows, no longer asserting he does not love you, or he does not desire or wonders why your no longer there! it is all approximately that harmless toddler. Haveing stated this... Now you're hated with the aid of the different women human beings, and can be her toddler, her homestead, consequently her occasion and she or he will make the regulations however the your fiance/ husband is attempting to easily shop the peace and spend on the instant the perfect way he can to be sure that son of his too is having a large day to bear in mind, with out HATE OR FEELING UNCOMFORTABLE; Making the perfect out of a foul situation...it is all. you desire to be the extra helpful person, seem at it in a grown mature point and spot it for all it is relatively worth... on no account enable the different (women human beings) SEE YOU SWEAT IT! Take it from somebody who has walked a mile on your shoes... Kindness kills attempt it... shop your acquaintances close yet shop your enemies nearer (A be conscious from the wiser ;-)

Answer 7

You think it is bad now, you have not seen anything yet. Good chance he will never change. If he want take up for you now, the one he is to marry, do you really think it will be any different. it will not. Before he can leave you for his mother, which he probably will, leave him first. You deserve a lot better than this. I would have booted him out of my life the first time he pulled that crap.

Answer 8

If he leaves you, you might be better off. Some men are like that with their mothers, and there is nothing you can do about that.
Most of all, don't make him choose between you and his mother, you will lose.
Did you not see these signs before now?
You really need to think about, can you honestly deal with this from now on, because this is not going to change. they have and will forever be this way.
Think about YOU. Not about the engagement.

Answer 9

Are you happy now? No. Will it get any better? No. It will get worse. She's tougher than you right now, you are showing fear and weakness, just what a controlling mother thrives on. If you can't get baby-boy to stand up to mommy dearest give HER the engagement ring and wish the two of them all the warped happiness they can muster up together. Then GET OUT!

Answer 10

Don´t leave your futur husband just because you and his mom don´t get along. Do you want to marry him or his mother? So, if you love him and you both are able to communicate with each other, everything should be fine. It is always like this. One day his mother will see and realize what she is doing. Believe me. It´s just the moment that she thinks she is losing her son and then again to a beautiful woman. She believes that he won´t have time for her like before anymore because he is now with you. But he´s got to show his mom that he is still the same even that he is with you right now. And his mom has to realize that she is not losing her son but winning a daughter. Just give it time. And do think positive. Just let it not get to you like that. Try to put yourself in the situation of her. Maybe there will be a time you will talk to her. But don´t get angry or blame your fiancé for this thing. It´s not worth it to give up for such a stupid reason. There are always people not liking each other in this world. I mean, we all are of different characteristics. But as soon as we realize, hey that person isn´t that bad as I thought, we will change our mind. Please be strong and be patient! Good Luck!
Okay, correcting myself... coz I didn´t read your question till the end... I guess he is afraid of hurting his relationship to his mother. As long as he can´t stand up for himself it won´t change. He needs to let her know that he is grown now and can take care of himself. But for that he´s got to realize that by himself first of course. I guess he will learn after he lost you... Tough thought but... we human beings only learn by experiencing and doing mistakes. Sorry! But don´t worry - Be happy!!!

Answer 11

Girl count your lucky stars that you have not and did not marry this egg sucking mamas boy . Who wants to make him choose leave this loser you will be competing forever for his attention because of his mama. So what if he leaves you for her consider yourself lucky cause she is going to die one day and half his life will be over and he will regret losing you and trying to please mama all the time . Just forget him and move on down the road. good luck and god bless.