I want to finish my nursing which is 2 more years. However, I have a 1 yr. old and a 3 yr. old at home that I leave in daycare while I go to school. I don't want to be selfish but since I am not working and only go to school, my husband is not making it financially to support our household of 7. Should I put school on hold and find a job to help him? Should I hang in there and finish 2 more yrs? My marriage is falling apart because I can't seem to focus on my priorities although my family comes first. I am afraid of not finishing school once I stop going. I don't want to look back and regret not finishing my degree to raise my family. Right now I need to improve my living situation and I don't know whather to pick work, school, or husband even. Which of the three should I pick? I can only pick one.
2006-12-28 10:29:46 · 34 answers · asked by sandra 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Girl, if it is best (but a struggle) for you to stay in school and finish your dream and career - THEN DO IT!!! Your family will always be there, even though your husband may not - sad to say but true. Do what is best for you and you will be sucessful - both personally and for your family.....If he does not accept then that is really sad. Maybe you could pick up a few nights at the local cafe/bar/restaurant. I did it for a long time (and I am still a single mama) remember - a couple of years worth of stress and devotion leads to a lifetime of sucess if you are willing to work for it
2006-12-28 12:02:00 · answer #1 · answered by sweet mama mari 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well this is what I think should happen. You should contiue doing school for the simple reason that you only have 2 more years. Once you complete those 2 yrs you should be set. Your husband is doing a good job as far as supporting you in school however the best thing that he can do is try to pickup a second job, the bad part is you two will hardly ever see each other. But it will only be for a little while because after you finish school you can get a decent job and help with the bills and so on. Then everything should fall into place. It's just a sacrifice that we make to make a better life for our chilrden. I have a 5, 3, and 6 month old and go to school and take care of my grandmother. I hate that i can't spend quality time with my partner but i know that in the end the degree will be rewarding for all of us. As it will you and your family Good Luck
2006-12-28 10:38:49 · answer #2 · answered by forevernoemi's 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your first mistake is thinking you can only pick one.
Have husband help with the kids get a part time job and go to school. Finish the degree and the cash goes up considerably and its ONLY two years away. Just in case you are thinking of leaving the husband consider for a moment that this guy is allowing you to go to school while putting the kids in child care.
You have not been working and he is trying to support you. Why would you think of leaving? Also why am I confused? 2 kids you and husband does not equal 7.
You have the ability to win on all fronts but it sounds like you have already given up. Life is not about what you need to give up its about finding ways to make it work.
Two years is not a long time in the big picture. You will need this family support group when you finish school. New nurses do not get day shift weekdays.
Finish school get a job and appreciate your husband.
This is the time for sacrifice and hard work NOT what do I give up.
2006-12-28 10:58:57 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's unfair that you can only pick one. You should be able to do all three. Take some online classes, which will allow you to stay home and save on day care. If you have a household of 7, I'm assuming that all your children are under 10. Make the older kids help with the chores around the house. It'll keep them busy and out of your hair AND teach them how to keep a clean home.
You should try and find daycare voucher. It sounds like your family might qualify for one. You could also find a job online where you can work at home. Try to make a schedule for the two young children at home. Treat it like your in home day care. Get activities to keep them occupied while you either work or learn online... During their naps, read or maybe make dinner so that when the other children and your husband come home, they'll be fed.
I know that sounds like the impossible or a lot, but you sound like you're doing a lot as is. At the very least you make all the fuss worth while. It's a wonderful thing that you're trying to finish school. You really should... it would be very beneficial to your family.
Your husband should also be willing to be flexible. It's not like you want to hang out with your girlfriends or do something unproductive. You're trying to BETTER your FAMILY'S current situation. He should be willing to work with you on that. A household of 7 is huge, in this day and age.
I wish you nothing but the best.
2006-12-28 10:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Finish you nursing school & stay with your husband....you will be able to make more money to support your family. It may be hard times but you can't just give up on your husband because of that...
Maybe you can get a job part time after school or on the weekends to help bring in some extra income....your husband could do the same. Also cut out everything in your budget that you don't need right now. Make recipies for meals that have cheaper ingrediants. Look to save money and earn money any way you can.
In two years you will be happy you stuck it out with school and your husband. It may have been hard....but you didn't lose anything.
GOOD LUCK!
2006-12-28 10:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by ~*SuMmEr*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick school. Obviously he was in on it when you started. Ive got 4 more classes left before I'll be a RN. Ive got a 6 and 1 yr old. My husband has been trippin the entire time. Guess where we met?? school. I started before him and regardless of life situations im going to finish. You should too. If your husband really loves you he will understand that you are doing this for the family not just yourself. besides if you wait then your question will be work, school, or kids baseball games and who could pick school over kids sports? do it now while the kids are young and you'll have more time for everone in the long run.
good luck
2006-12-28 10:49:29 · answer #6 · answered by Miranda 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know you want to get your education and that's honorable. Truly. However, your family comes first...always. Sit down and put together a financial plan that will allow you to work for now, save some money and clear out some debt that may be weighing you down. See if you can get some free or reduced babysitting from friends or family while you try to accomplish this. Don't make it your goal, but rather a family goal that benefits you all in the end. Then, once you can see your way clear a little, go back to school and get that nursing degree. I know it's not an easy decision, but if you put your family first, you will never regret the decision. Please don't lose your husband and family. You can have it all...just in due time.
I did school first, so I didn't have to make that exact decision. However, I did have to temp delay grad school and other career moves for family, particularly while caring for very young children. So, I understand your dilemma.
Hey, don't forget to make that dream a reality. Work hard so you can have that too!
Best of luck!
2006-12-28 10:40:44 · answer #7 · answered by Apple21 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nursing School you only like 2 years the pay will be better than quitting and working in a job you hate and not being paid that great if your husband loves you he needs to work 2 jobs to help until you finish which I hope you do if you quit now you may never go back.
2006-12-28 10:48:43 · answer #8 · answered by twister 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pick school. No doubt about it, pick school.
Family of 7? If it's you, your husband, and two kids, how do you have a family of 7? Are there three more kids of his from another relationship? If so, if I were you, I would take my two kids and get out of there for a while. Would your parents be willing to help out? Could you take out a few more subsidized loans? Often the school will have child-care programs for student mothers you can take advantage of.
And, in my opinion, any husband worth having should be supportive of your decision to finish school.
2006-12-28 10:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he needs to straighten up and fly right and help with the family finances. first of all, getting an education is honorable and something that can only benefit you in the long run. and nursing school can take you all over the globe-there's a nursing shortage and that means more $$$ for anyone who gets into the field. hang in there for the next two years-tempus fugit! "time flies" and if this guy doesn't understand that you're going to nursing school can only help the family finances, then he's not worth it.
good on ya!
2006-12-28 10:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by sugarbaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋