I have been arguing with the husband all day, (we are seperated, his choice!) about how i want to go see a councilar about him leaving me and his 8month unborn child. He tells me he doesn't understand why i would need to do that when i can just talk to him about the way i feel. he says that he wants to be there for me and he wants to know how he can make it better..tell me how frigin' stupid is he!
2006-12-28 10:18:01 · 19 answers · asked by I♥Karma 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he left me and doesn't want to work on things he just wants me to be OK with the situation.
2006-12-28 10:25:50 · update #1
i dont think anybody here can really understand the situation that you are experiencing. if you are calling him stupid, that is not a good sign of the relationship. if you are constantly fighting with him, it might be a large factor with why he wishes to separate from you.
based on your other posts, it seems that you love him still. if you really love him, than at this point especially, you should really only have kind words about him. you should express that love to him and keep expressing it to him. it sounds like you are still communicating with him, and he is still willing to talk to you. if you wish to save the marriage, i would highly recommend that you praise him and tell him that you miss him and his beautiful eyes, etc.
it seems to me from only the little i know about what is going on, is that you need to adjust. u need to read up on what makes men happy in relationships. there are actually many things, its not just sex. you should read up on it, and gently try to change your actions and speech.
if not, you will be another divorced woman, and your child will also suffer. i am sorry that you are experiencing what you are, it must be hard on both of you. pray through it.
2006-12-28 14:02:26 · answer #1 · answered by Sopwith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's pretty stupid. If you two had the skills to communicate properly, you wouldn't be in this mess. You guys have tried and it's just not working.
It's not as easy as you telling him how you feel. You could tell him and he could walk away or ignore you or a slew of other things. He's already left you and put you in a position where you have to figure out what he wants and how you are going to solve things. If you say the wrong thing, he could leave you for good or hold it against you. There are too many risks sharing your feelings with someone who doesn't understand you enough to stay with you and work it out.
You're clear in the fact that your communication needs help. If he won't go, then you should go alone. It will surely help you clear your mind and sort things out for you. At least one of you will be on the right track.
2006-12-28 10:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 1⤊ 4⤋
So the guy who was fed up with your hormone and baby laden body saw the light and left. I'm with him. Why spend the money on counseling when he would come back when you lighten up. Is your desire for counseling some convoluted attempt to air your grievances in front of another person who you think will agree with you?
My dear, you are destined to have this baby alone and lonely because you have no respect and the gall to call him friggin stupid. Sounds like he was smart enough to realize you cannot be dealt with right now and no amount of counseling is going to change your attitude.
Live with lonely beacuse that's where your going with your attitude. You just have not realized it yet.
2006-12-28 10:42:32 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
He's right. Why do you need a councilar to talk about him leaving you? Talk to him and he will tell you why he left, but I suspect it is because you like to argue rather than talk. Try listening and understanding what he is saying and then when he has finished expain your side. Life will be much easier.
2006-12-28 10:50:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Not as stupid as you think. First seeing a counselor will cost money (and usually don't solve anything). And it is just another person who usually takes the woman's side. It would be better to find some third party who has nothing to gain and complain to them. A person who is not afraid to say you both are full of Crap when you are wrong.
2006-12-28 10:51:15 · answer #5 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
not so dumb i'm nevertheless giggling so i think of it became large ...thank you lower back for sharing the grins that's what human beings want extra of ..HUMOR...because it gets a grin on peoples faces who oftentimes do not smile on a on a regular basis foundation ....as quickly as lower back my admired asserting stay,love and chortle and stay your existence to the fullest...hehehe
2016-10-19 02:42:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well hopefully he's smarter than you and knows how to spell right. Counseling is not for everyone. Plus it can cost. If he's willing to talk things out with you then why not? Just don't always expect things to turn out your way.
2006-12-28 10:24:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
I would spend the money you plan to spend on a counselor in the biggest and best divorce attorney in your area. He needs to pay child support, daycare, insurance, dental bills and medical bills for your child and put money into a fund for your 8 month olds education every month. You also deserve his tax return and 1/2 his retirement pension. Good luck sweetie.
2006-12-28 10:45:33 · answer #8 · answered by happydawg 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I don't really know. Ask him why you two are separated then if he wants to be there for you and his unborn child. Does he really listen to you when you tell him how you feel about everything ?? Why are you separated ?? If it was his choice then l guess he is the one who should be doing all the explaining, right ?? Tell him that you feel he needs to be counselled about his problems and if he is not prepared to go, then you feel that there is no hope for the two of you to work out your problems. As l don't know the reason for your separation it makes it a bit hard to know what to tell you as far as fixing your problem. Best of luck with your new baby and your future...................................................................................................I just read your adds. If he does not to work things out with you as far as l am concerned you should just let it go. You need to be putting your thoughts and energy into being strong for your soon to be born child. Best of luck to you and bubs.
2006-12-28 10:30:49 · answer #9 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
seeing a counciler would have to make him be honest, would require alot of work, he isn't willing to invest in, seeing a counciler would bring the problems out in the open to be worked on and he has no intention of coming back and making it work. he don't want to make it better he just wants u to accept his choices, so without him wanting to do this, you can't help the marriage. he isn't stupid, he is selfish and wants to keep it as it is, no matter who it hurts.
2006-12-28 10:53:07 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋