My son who is 23 is asking for money again?

Question

My son is 23 and is asking for money. The problem is I have sent around 1000.00 in the last 5 months western union. He never pays any of this back. He is working but the girl he is seeing costs a lot of money to please. I am not rich and I dont mind helping him out when he needs help, but this is getting old. I think it better to not give him the money this time because he has never attempted to pay me back. He wants 200.00 to do who knows what with . There is always a crisis with him. The other two sons pay me back most of the time unless I tell them to forget it. But this one really has a problem with paying me back even 10.00 per month. I am thinking of declining his request this time. Do you think this is the right thing to do?

Answer 1

It's time to fly son.

Answer 2

I also have a 23 yr old son. My son is out of work at the moment. He is living at home and is on the dole. He never asks for money though, he will always make do with what he has. I have been told that l am too soft on him even by his too older sisters. I don't spend a lot of money on him but l do quite often buy things for him and his dog. I have been told that l do not make him stand on his own two feet. I believe it is hard though as you only want what is best for the wellbeing of your children, regardless of how old they are. Perhaps you could try talking to him and explain that money does not grow on trees as alot of young ones seem to think it does. His other brothers always make an effort to pay borrowed money back and unless he really tries to do the same, the bank is closed. I know it will not be easy as he is your son but maybe that's the only way you will get him to realise that he is being a little selfish. Good luck

Answer 3

Here is the deal. I am a 29 year old male. 6 years ago I was struggling financially and really needed some money, but I didn't want my mom to think I was struggling, so I got another job. The last thing I wanted to do was make my mom worry about my financial future, or me in general. Now, this may be because nothing was given to me as a kid and I had a paper route by the time I was 9 years old. I had to work for everything. One day you won't be there for him to come to, so it's important to ween him off of yourself ASAP. I'm sure you raised him to be resourceful and he will find ways to earn the money he needs, or better budget the money he has. Do you know what I do when I don't have money to pay for an expensive girlfriend? I stay single!!

Answer 4

Dear Momma,
Not "loaning" him money is absolutely the right thing to do! He will never stand on his own two feet if the Bank of Momma is always ready with a line of credit.
Whether his girlfriend costs a lot isn't the issue. The issue is that up until this point, whenever he wanted some spare cash, you sent it. He needs to learn that you budget what you make and if you don't have the money, don't have your own credit cards or whatever.. too bad. You go without. It isn't like he's been incapacitated through no fault of his own. You're just too darned convenient. Stop it momma! Or you'll be spending your old age on welfare because he'll gradually suck you dry. He has no consideration for your circumstances and doesn't even attempt to pay you back. You're being USED!
Sorry to be so harsh but you definitely need someone to shore up what you obviously already know you need to do. :-)

Answer 5

Tell him you are not going to give him any more money until he pays back what he owes you. Also if it is a real crisis like his lights or gas being cut off, don't send the money to your son (he sounds irresponsible), send the money directly to the bill collector. If the money is to buy his girl friend something, you should tell him to get a new girl friend (A hooker would be cheaper). He's going to take advantage of you as long as you let him.

Answer 6

At the age of 23, your son should be self-supporting. He is an adult now and as long as you keep sending him the money he will keep asking. He is taking advantage of you and you are allowing it to happen..What do you think will happen if you just say "No"? That he won't be your son anymore? He will always be your son. Why should you support his girl friend? If she is such high maintenance then he may need to get rid of her and support himself. He will only take advantage of you for as long as you will let him. I definitely think the right and best thing for you to do is to let him know you love him and tell him "No, I can't lend you anymore money." He will be upset for awhile but he will get over it and maybe this will wake him up to the real world. Anyway why should you work--just to give your money away???

Answer 7

If you continue to give him money and not expect him to pay you back, he will continue to use you for the rest of your life. He is 23 years old and needs to become self sufficient. If he can run to you every time he needs something, he will never truly be on his own. You should absolutely decline his request and any future requests.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

You are teaching your son how to be irresponsible. He is using you and you are such a fool. Tell him to get another job, or better yet, go to the bank and ask for a loan.
You will be teaching him a valuable life lesson. Dont give him any more money. He needs to make it on his own. He is 23 yrs old for crying out loud.

Answer 10

I think you're in the right. Don't give him anymore money. For all you know he and his gf could be on drugs. When he can pay you back a little of what he already owes, I would open the bank of mom again but only for emergency situations. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 11

Take it from a mother who 'helped out' her son, then her son and his family for 30 years. Stop now and don't give in to his requests for any more money. Tell him NO in a way he will get the clue you're not backing down. I suspect drugs and/or alcohol might be involved.