My hb wants this surgery. If you look at the low end of his ideal weight, he's about 95 lbs overweight, however considering his body type, I'd say he's more likely about 75-80 lbs overweight. He has given up on correcting his eating habits & sedentary lifestyle and decided that his only recourse is surgery. He also has backaches, high blood pressure & a family history of cancer. He has badgerred his physician so much that he has referred him to a specialist for consideration for the surgery. He doesn't even want to lose weight now for fear he won't be a good candidate.
I am so upset and concerned about this major surgery. I think he can accomplish his weight loss through modifiying his diet and getting some excercise. I have told him that I can and will help him in both areas. I'm not overweight at all, so maybe I'm not as understanding as I could be, but I believe he could do this himself...without surgery.
Having a hard time supporting him on his solution. Any suggestions?
2006-12-28 09:59:58 · 10 answers · asked by Apple21 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he won't be a good candidate if he doesn't want to modify his eating and keep his sedentary lifestyle. I know people that have had the surgery and the doctors put them on the diet they need to live by following the surgery and liquid diet phase. You are understanding not to mention realistic. There are so many complications, and not to mention having to introduce foods to yourself, vomiting up food that never in a million years would make anyone sick.
I would suggest you go the library, bookstore get books on or print every bit of information for him you can find, good and bad. get him to read it with you to make an informed decision. Talk to as many people as you can and get their feelings and thougts on it before the decision is made. Be honest with him, that you are having a very hard time to accept and support his solution that you need him to go through all of this in order to give him the best support that you can and you are only looking out for him.
Good luck!
2006-12-28 10:26:05 · answer #1 · answered by Pandora 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband will not change his lifestyle then forget about it! I know people who have had it but only managed to lose just about fifty lbs. Some even gained it all back. Plus it depends on which procedure the doctor will do. There is on that put bands on the top of the stomach close to the esophagus and it helps to keep the person from overeating if the patient follows the eating rules for the first month or so to allow the bands to harden. The others I'm not that familiar with but I have heard of people having more than one procedure done. Your husband's most non-regretable solution will be to get a gym membership and use it, walk weekly, eating less carbs, having more sex, and doing without tv more. I truly wish the both of you success with whatever is decided.
2006-12-28 10:15:21 · answer #2 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he won't correct his eating habits and start exercising then the surgery will only be a quick fix. After a short time he will go back to where he is now. Surgery is not just an automatic fix you have to have a lifestyle change in order for it to be long term.
2006-12-28 10:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by vancie121 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is this bound and determined I would suggest the lap band procedure. Its not as evasive as gastric bypass. I know cause i had gastric bypass..thought i was gonna die. Lost 100 lbs. but was so sick. The pain was absolutely unbearable.I had this done in 1983 and there are so many other things he could as the lap band. But you have to do exactly what they so do (doctors). I hope he will go this route instead of the other one. I know a man who had this and he doesnt look the same. Wish i could do it all over again.. as in this would be the way I would of gone. Good luck to you both in your decision.
2006-12-28 10:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife had it and it is not the end all cure. If he can't control himself now, he wont be able to later either. 75-80 pounds can be lost. It wont be easy, but it will be a hell of alot easier then what you have to go thru with this surgery. I can't say my wife regreats it, but it is not all she thought it would be. I made her go to the seminar 3 times and ask every question she could think of. She still decided to do it. But I was confident she knew what the downside would be. I suggest you make him learn all the facts first. Besides they usually wont do it unless he is well over 100 lbs over weight.
When at the seminar ask about "dumpage", it sucks! Make sure they explain it to him WELL!
2006-12-28 10:07:06 · answer #5 · answered by Michael H 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't candidates for this surgery have to undergo psychological evaluation? My doctor told me I would need to talk to a shrink in order to get this surgery.Even if he doesn't were you are.You should check your local clinics for the obese and see if they can help hook you up with someone whom has gone through this surgery.So he can get a first hand account of what it is like.It may scare him out of it.
2006-12-28 10:12:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the band put in it is worth it there are too many complications with the by pass. I went from 340 pounds to 250 i don't regret doing it. the first month is hell your on a liquid diet.
2006-12-28 10:03:03 · answer #7 · answered by darthdread13 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
MY SIS DID THIS 18 YRS AG OAND 2 YRS AGO HAD TO GO HAVE IT REVERSED SHE WAS CLOSE TO DEATH SHE WAS DOWN TO 93LBS AND 5FT 7IN TALL AND DIDNT HAVE THE ENERGY TO HOLD HER OWN COFFEE CUP SHE IS BETTER NOW AFTER I SEEN WHAT ITDID T O HER I DECIDE TO LEARN TO CHANGE MY LIFE STYLE AND I HAVE LOST 107LBS IN 4 YRS ITS TAKEN A WHIME AND I HAVE ABOUT 50 MORE TO GO BUT I EXERCISES AT HTE CLUB AND WALK AND WE CUT OUT FATS SUCH AS OIL BUTTER AND MAYO ITS NOT EASY BUT I AM HEATHER FOR IT GOOOD LUCK I WOULDNT WANT ANYONE I LOVE TO DO THIS A FRIEND OF MINE DIED 6YRS AGO IN SURGERY SHE HATED BEING FAT AND DIED THAT WAY THASTS SAD
2006-12-28 14:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
is he not an adult male....you are not his parent..you are his wife...you don't have to agree with him but you should support him...the hospitals and doctors have very strict guidelines for this surgery...he may not qualify because he will have to change his eating habits and go through counselling....but at least he wants to do something.....good luck
2006-12-28 10:03:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
HE'LL STILL HAVE TO BE ON A DIET AFTER AND CLOSE TO THE BATHROOM. IT DOES WORK FOR SOME AND FOR OTHERS THEY NEVER MAKE IT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL. WISHING YOU BOTH THE BEST.
2006-12-28 10:02:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋