not sure if i will cope being a single teen mum?

Question

ive only got 2 and a half weeks till my baby is due, me and the babies dad split a while ago, i know i will have the support from my family and a few close friends but i dont know how im going to cope without him, i love the babies father so much and i never wanted us to split up but he felt like the responsibility was too much and if im being honest as well i could not see us lasting very long as all we did then was argue a lot and i didnt need the stress then and i certainly dont need it now, he says he wants to be at the birth to support me as i have a rare blood disirder and things could go bad but im not really sure if i even wanthim there now after everyhting that has gone on and been said between us, all this aside i still love him very much and am really unsure of how ill be able to cope being 19 single with a baby.
has anyone please got ANY help or advice?

also i think i should add that i was told i could not have children due to my blood disorder, so this pregnancy was very much unplanned, the fact i have not had an abortion says alot, and i no all this probably is first time mum nerves but i am only asking for a little advice, also anotherreason for not knowing if i want the babies father at the birth is since we found out i was pregnant he has been off and on, one minute he doesnt want it then he does then he dont know well see how things go, i cant be doing with that i want stability for my son, not a part time parent, i understand its hard for him also but i dont think he realises how im feeling.

Answer 1

you will be suprised with yourself, you'll cope just fine
you can contact gingerbread 0800 018 4318 for more support they specilise in lone parenting and will give you all the advise, help and support you need
good luck and a happy new year!

Answer 2

For the next few weeks at least, put aside if possible, any feelings you have for your baby's father and consentrate on you and your unborn baby, if you dont want him there when you give birth then just tell the midwife, they are never short in coming forward...your midwife is only out for what id the best for you and your baby so he will be told to go!
Whatever age there is always that same doubt when your starting off as a single parent, i was 23, started my divorce when i found out i was pregnant! What a time to find out..just when im trying to get rid of my babys dad-he was violent and i decided not to tell him till he had signed a few things 2 get the divorce going otherwise he wouldnt have signed anything! But even then the idea of being a single mum was horrid! My son was 10years old yesterday (29th dec) and im so glad i got on with it myself! I wouldnt change him for the world, so i think the way your feeling is completely natural so stop panicking!! Im sure you will be fine, with or without the father about so good luck!!
xxx

Answer 3

It is good that you have the support of your family and friends. The most important thing you have to remember is that you always leave the door open for him to see his baby. No matter how much you argue try to act like his best friend in front of the baby. If he wants to be at the birth allow him to. When the baby grows up if she/he asks why was dad not there at the birth. What would you say? I did not want him there. Always leave the door open because it will just come back on you,

Remember realising that your going to be a dad is not easy and it takes some getting use to, I am sure that you to will make it up.

Good luck, and congratulations on your blessing your baby.

Answer 4

I am sure you will cope really well. Having a baby can put stresses and strains on the most stable and mature of relationships. If you don't want the father at the birth, you don't have to have him there. You need to think about what will make the experience most comfortable for you. If you have the support of a loving family that is the most important thing. All a baby really needs is love, milk and to be kept clean and warm!

I really hope things go well for you, let us know how things go.

Answer 5

I think you will be fine. Stop worrying. As you have a blood disorder you will get more help than most, try not to stress, just get through the pregnancy and I'm sure everything will go well. Don't dwell too much on whether the father of the baby will be there or not just make sure he doesn't intend to be in and out the child's life as this can be confusing for all of you.
I will pray for you.
Congratulations and have a happy New Year.

Answer 6

First of all that first comment was harsh and unnessecary! i know that you will cope! my friend was 16 when she had her baby and the father of the baby was out sleeping with another girl while my friend was in labour at just 29 weeks! She has her family and is doing well! Im the opposit to u.. 18 years old, i have my boyfriend but all of my family have moved away and i do not have there support. i dont really have any advice other than forget about the baby's dad! i know its hard but u dont need him if he doesnt want to be there for you OR WORSE his child!! U will be just fine as u have ur family there! I hope you and your baby are ok in labour, good luck!x

Answer 7

Hey don't feel bad my boyfriend got sent to prison while I was 5 months with our first child and I thought it was going to be hard. I am now about 2 weeks and 1/2 left till my due date and he's not going to be around at all. I think that your going to do fine there are millions of single mothers out there. Just forget about a man who doesnt want to support a child and be there for your baby cause the baby needs you more than ever. Just get help from grandparents and family.

Answer 8

Well its gonna be hard. I know how you feel. You feel lonely and confused and you worry that yo'll be a bad mother. You worry that you'll be alone forever. That no one will want a single mother as a girlfriend. You worry that your whole life is over now that you got pregnant. I feel the exact same way. I've been single my whole pregnancy. My babys father can't handle the responsiblity either. But the difference between me and you is...is that I straight up told him this is how its gonna be. He is gonna be the best fatherhe can be or I'll break his scranny legs. He's to terrified of wht I might do to him he doesn't argue much. Yeah I wish I loved him and we could be that happy family. But its not gonna happen. I have my family for support. But its not the same. You can do this. Everyone gets scared when the time is getting closer. But most parenting skills come naturally. Or so I'm told. If you ever need to talk pm me this is my yahoo name. I figure I'll call my BD after the birth. I dunno if I want him there either.

Answer 9

You will be fine. Just put the focus on your baby.
I will tell you that the first 3 monts are the hardest, but after that it gets way easier, my son had colic and I dealt with it, hopefully your child doesnt!!!
Just be patet, there will be times where you will want to shake the kid to death, but when that feeling arises, you have got to put the kid in the crib shut the door and take a 5 minute break to yourself!
Hey at least you didnt have an abortion, I commend you on that, you did the right thing.
At 19, at least you will get to be a young mom, and still be able to do what you want in life.
You dont NEED a man to raise a baby, it help, but women do it alone all the time and there kids turn out fine.
I think you should forget about your ex and just put your energy into you, your baby and your life.
Your baby needs you way more than that loser of an ex.
Congrats on the baby though!

Answer 10

Oh, darling girl, what a terrible situation to be in.

First of all, you've got to concentrate on the baby, not your ex. The baby is going to take up ALL of your time for the next year.

Try to focus on that, and how you're going to cope.

It sounds as if you have good family support - I do hope so. Having a baby when you're in your teens is a real shock. I know - I did it (she's 33 now).

Are you sure you want to keep the baby? Adoption is always an option. It would be very difficult, but if you can't cope on your own you might want to think about it.

But whatever else you do, get your loser ex out of your life. If he offers to help with the baby, fine. Otherwise just ditch him.

Answer 11

It will be hard, theres no mistaking it but the love that your baby will give you and vice versa will make it all worth while.
My friends boyfriend split with her when their daughter was 2 and it took her about a year until she felt able to move on.
You have your family and friends to help and support you which is excellent.
Babies are wonderful things, wait to you see yours for the first time and all your worries will melt away. its amazing how you will adapt to having your baby without your boyfriend around. Just make sure he pays maintanace money to you, after all he helped create this child and has run away from the responsibility. Technically if he was that worried then he should have used a condom, i have heard of too many stories when docs say you cant have kids and then 2 months later they are in the docs office with a positive pregnancy test.
good luck.