My friend is 24, she met this guy and married him after a few months of dating and has regretted it ever since. They have been married a little over a year and are more like roommates than lovers, but they remain married due to their vows before God.
I recently became pregnant with my 1st baby and my friend confided in me that she knows their marriage isn’t the best, but she would like a child out of it anyways. She said her husband is a good man and would be an excellent father, so she intends on having a baby with him soon. She said she could see them divorcing one day or remaining married out of convenience too, she says she is not sure of their future together.
I told her I thought she needed to really think this through, but she always does what she wants anyway.
What do you think about this? Do you think a lot of women do what my friend plans to do?
2006-12-28 09:16:57 · 10 answers · asked by PrettyWifey 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Yes. A lot of women think it will fix things or make them better. I think if she isn't happy then why bring a baby into that? How sad for her baby. It wont know what a real marriage should be and will probably repeat what its parents are doing.
2006-12-28 09:20:06 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ultimately it's their decision. I don't think she should do it unless she is doing it for the right reasons. There is nothing worse than having a child to mend a broken relationship the children can sense the tension. I think if it's a mutual decision between them it should be fine as long as they both realize that they would need to strengthen their relationship a little more in order to be able to deal with the stress a child will bring. It could go 3 ways. They could have this child and everything will end up being perfect they realize they love each other and everyone's happy, or they could have the child and then be driven to divorce because it's too much stress, or they can have the child and everything remains the same, I think she should really think hard about which way she think it will turn out (realistically) not how she hopes it turns out. Then they should both sit down together and decide if this is the best decision or if they should wait. She should not go behind his back and try to get pregnant ... He will be angry if he finds out this was the case, and it won't help things he could love the child and loathe her, or decide to skip out on both of them because he wasn't ready.
2006-12-28 17:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by LoveLeighe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well at least they have commitment toward each other. So few people understand the meaning these days and that is why divorce is so high these days. All I can say is children do not make a marriage because they grow up and become adults. So if they stay together to raise a child and than one day when that child moves out they are going to have empty nest syndrome b/c their marriage was revolved around that child. And if they do have a baby and get a divorce it is going to complicate everything. You never know maybe their relationship will turn around and they will grow closer together.
2006-12-28 17:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by cliffhanger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds as though your friend really wants to have a baby and this is a convenient way to get pregnant, alot of people stay in a marriage or relationship because its the "easy" thing to do, for convenience or because they are used to the routine they are in, and a break up or divorce could cause upset in their lives, many people are scared of change, its a shame for the child that may come out of this situation,
2006-12-28 17:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by kimberley123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forget the vows...if you aren't happy, why waste your time...and don't make matters worse by bringing a child into the situation...that is where so many women go wrong; thinking a baby will fix a marriage when truth be told it will only make matters worse...don't you think that a child deserves to be brought into this world when his parents love each other and are in love....leave him, its okay to become friends....
or maybe what you need is to separate for awhile...just to see where you all stand.
2006-12-28 17:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by worried wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If a woman is considering divorce, or having problems in her marriage, then she should definately not bring children into the marriage. The children suffer greatly from divorce and this would be very selfish on her part.
2006-12-28 17:28:37 · answer #6 · answered by ceegt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby could hurt or help the marriage. Ask her if she feels she could raise this child on her own. Reason: if he decides this isn't something he wants, he will leave. Think about ALL the pros and cons.
2006-12-28 17:27:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No . nothing will make it better. Get out and find someone who you really love and then have a child. makes it more special and you will love the child even more.Been there done that for 26 years ,divorced first , found my old high school sweetheart married her verrrry happy.
2006-12-28 17:30:35 · answer #8 · answered by charles d 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that is fair to the marriage, her, the husband, or the baby!
2006-12-28 17:33:54 · answer #9 · answered by kista_1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2006-12-28 17:21:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋