He is my boss and we have been intimate with each other for almost a year. He said he felt like we were going to far so maybe we should stop. We are good friends too but recently he told me he is leaving the company and relocating to accomodate his promotion. I don't know ow to get pass this. Do I really love him or was it the excitment of having this type of relationship at work? To be behind closed doors and having sex on a desk where others are working right outside is such a rush. Maybe I am not in love, but I don't know. I guess it doesn't matter as we are both married. How do I just forget him?
2006-12-28 09:02:17 · 41 answers · asked by dazed_n_confuzed999 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't believe you are in love. I believe you are in love with the adrenaline rush you get from doing something you are not supposed to be doing. How can you say you love someone when you are still married to someone else? By not having the strength to end your current marriage (as well as he) you have already placed him in second place. If your love was strong for him, then you would never have placed him behind your husband- you would have ended your marriage (as would have he) before it ever went physical. You and he have also, by both cheating on your spouses, prooven to each other that you don't respect marriage or relationships. What makes either of you think that either of you would honor or respect a union between the two of you? How do you forget him? Get into counselling. Get honest with your husband. Commit to your marriage! Your husband can be everything you ever want him to be if you just start communicating with him. Are you in reality afraid of truly giving yourself to your husband and the intimacy that comes with that? (which is the absolute biggest rush you can ever feel in your life- your "behind the closed doors sex with your boss" is nothing compared to that feeling.) I think you could really benefit from a good counsellor that could help you get to the bottom of why you needed to have an affair in the first place. Good luck!
2006-12-28 09:15:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Time to WAKE UP! The orgasm is over and the credits have rolled. You cheated and got used by your superior and now he's moving on. Get divorced because clearly the marriage is not right. Don't have anymore comunication w/ the boss no matter what. Get into therapy because it sounds like you have some compulsion/voyerism issues since you get such a rush over the possibility of getting caught. Move on and get help before other innocent people get hurt.
2006-12-28 09:41:44 · answer #2 · answered by RoadRunner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you need to divorce your husband. Or atleast come clean and pray that he'll take you back. You should have asked yourself whether or not you wanted to stay married to your husband before messing aroung, and if the answer was no, you should have divorced him before trying other options. Now that you've skipped that part you should remember where you are now and never do it in the future. It doesn't sound like you really love this guy, but that really doesn't matter at this point. Fantasies never work out according to plan. Once you've come clean maybe you can find more peace of mind and clarity of thought.
2006-12-28 09:31:35 · answer #3 · answered by Kristi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
From the way you describe this, it sounds like you loved the excitement more than the man. I doubt that you were ever really in love with him.
What are your plans now that he is leaving? Did he ask you to come along? Do you plan to follow him? If neither one of you is planning to divorce your spouse, then let him go and forget all about it.
Spice up your marriage by having sex in different places. Maybe you will enjoy the excitement with your husband, too.
You are lucky he did not find out. Treat him like a king and make the rest of his life worth living married to you.
2006-12-28 09:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's not love...it's the excitement you're enticed by. Affairs are fantasies...you can be this uber sexy femme fatale and never have to argue about kids or bills with him. It's a facade, not real life. You need to tell your husband about this other man. Isn't that the way you'd want to be treated? You forget him by realizing that HE'S STILL MARRIED. He didn't leave his wife, you obviously weren't worth that. He considered you mistress material, nothing more. Why obsess over someone who doesn't value you? Love yourself a little more or you'll never have a healthy relationship.
2006-12-28 09:16:00 · answer #5 · answered by Scorpio11 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Karma will b*tch slap your *ss hard. Get ready. He didn't love you enough to leave his wife. He never will. Don't believe his disgusting lies about how bad his marriage is-if it's so bad and if he was totally in love with you-he would have left her-even if their were children involved. He's probably going to move elsewhere and find him a new company p.o.a. to screw. How much you wanna bet that your husband will end up cheating on you now? HAHA-you deserve it-that's the least that should happen to your whore *ss.
2006-12-28 09:29:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like my problem its better for you to stop at once before a child will come to both of you its very hard. You will overcome it Because he is your boss you can't say no to him and having a high influence on your side maybe you will not get terminated at once.Think about your children. Involve yourself to any civic work and try to be a good wife and mother.God Bless
2006-12-28 09:19:13 · answer #7 · answered by Paxxiegrett 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but if you were messing around with my husband I would hunt you down this divorce him and clean him out. I dont have much respect for home wreckers. i understand that in some marriages there is something missing and one spouse seeks what they are missing in their marriage but they should really be at home fixing it or go seperate ways. I think this was probably just a fling for the 2 of you. You are both married what were you both thinking? You need to end this and save your marriage before its to late and if it is then you deserve what is coming sorry.
2006-12-28 09:10:18 · answer #8 · answered by 2wild4u 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
"Just forgetting him" will be hard to do. In time, all things will heal. You will likely find that once he is gone that you will discover that it wasn't really love, but that rush of excitement you discribed.
I can sympathize with you as I've been there. My advice, don't fish from the company pier. At least you didn't have a bad breakup that could make your work place a nightmare.
Feel free to email me if you want to chat.
2006-12-28 09:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can hardly believe the answers you are getting. Although having your fling with your boss was probably ill-advised, to have both a husband and lover is not unusual. You do not say if you still enjoy your husband [as well]. If you do you should tell your lover that you would like to continue your bliss after he leaves the firm, as might be possible.
2006-12-28 10:10:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋