For you women that have been married for a long time you know your husband has your heart and you have his and there isnt any other woman that could ever split up your marriage no matter how good she looks. Does it ever bother you that your husband checks out younger women or any women? I am in my late 20's and my husband is in his early 30's I know he loves me and wouldnt do anything to jeapardize our marriage well at least not cheat on me. Anyway it has always bothered me that he checks out other women even looking at any material that has women in it. I always thought when you got married that the man you married quits looking because they have you. But I was wrong my husband says its a man thing I know there are other hot women out there and I kbnow they couldnt have my man because he lets me know I look but dont touch but it still bothers me some i want his eyes on me not drooling over some other woman. So I just wandered if any of you are dealing with this if it is a problem?
2006-12-28 08:48:23 · 13 answers · asked by 2wild4u 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And how you have dealt with it. Things are better for me in my marriage this use to be a problem because he did it knowing it bothered me. Just want to know what I have to look forward to years to come so I dont let this get to me and ruin our marriage so far its under control.
2006-12-28 08:50:22 · update #1
I never really had a problem with him looking it was him looking every chance he got even when with me. I notice other men but I dont make it a habbit to look I am married. Everyone has their own opinion about this but i just dont feel like I need to look. But I also feel like there is a boundry to looking if it is done to much then it becomes a problem which it did in my marriage and we almost divorced 2 times over it. Now that I finally got my point across he finally gets that to much looking bothers me and he will stop if it means being married to me. So dont think I am a crappy wife or something I dont want my husband to be blind just want respect from him.
2006-12-28 09:48:27 · update #2
OK. I know you asked for women's responses, but here's one from the other side of the fence. I've been married twice now for a total of 12 years. I'm happily married, and yes, I look at other women (younger, older, doesn't matter). My philosophy / reasoning is simply this. There is beauty all around us in this world. Sunsets, flowers, puppies and people. Just because I got married doesn't mean that I can't appreciate a beautiful woman!
In the same vein, I certainly try to be discrete and keep my "drooling" (as you put it) to a minimum. Often if I'm "caught" looking, I'll say something to the effect of "yes she's pretty, but she'll never be able to light the fire in my heart that you have."
If he is just looking, there shouldn't be a problem. You should both be able to just look. It's when you start looking to find that there is a problem.
Good luck to you both!!
2006-12-28 09:09:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am 34 and have been with my husband since I was 17 and he was 20.And I noticed him doing it to girls when we were friends.And I knew he did it.So I can't complain about him doing it now.Besides I have 6 older brothers so I have a lot of experience with male behavior.They all do it.Some are better at hiding the fact that they are looking than others but they all look.I don't think there is anything wrong with it.So it really doesn't bother me.I know my hubby loves me and that's all I care about.
2006-12-28 18:21:57 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are all human. It's human to admire beautiful people, or, simply look at people in general. It's if there is action taken that makes it into a problem. I wouldn't let it bother you that your hubby is checking out other women, because it probably just makes him want you even more. Be confident in yourself and your marriage- he had his choice and of all the women in the world, he chose you. :) That's got to say something!!
2006-12-28 17:23:05 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband had an affair with someone he worked with when we were having problems at home. It was a surprise because he never would nor does he now look at other women. But then again she wasn't much of a looker at all. I would be a little bothered if he did look.
2006-12-28 17:04:23 · answer #4 · answered by pinniethewooh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't find anything wrong with a man looking at another women.
It is human nature. My husband looks at other women. I've even told him did you see her man she's beautiful. If he doesn't look than there is something wrong with him. I wouldn't worry about it. You need to have enough trust in your relationship and not worry about it. Don't you look at other men? It's just natural.
2006-12-28 17:06:19 · answer #5 · answered by chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women should be concerned when their husband look upon other women, especially when in their presence. When a man noticeably looks at other women in your presence, he is being disrespectful. However, he could be doing it to let you know that he wants you to be more sexual and alluring to him. I look at other women, but not when I'm with my wife. I don't buy the look but don't touch thing. Cause when I look upon a woman, I want to touch. So usually, I try not to look even if I am not with my wife. If you don't want to touch, why look? I'm not afraid to admit to myself that I want to sleep with other women than my wife. I don't, but I'm not going to be in denial. Neither should women that say its alright for men to look but don't touch. Do people go out and look at new cars when they just bought one?
2006-12-28 17:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
BEEN MARRIED FOR 29YRS AND YES MEN LOOK MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE ALWAYS TALKED OPENLY ABOUT THIS LOOKING THING I FIND THEY THINK WOMEN SHOULD EXCEPT THEM LOOKING AS LONG AS THEY ARE NICE ENOUGHT NOT TO TOUCH SO I TURNED THE TABLES ON HIM EVER NOW AND THEM AND MAE COMMITS ON THE YUNG GUYS REAR OR HOW HIS JEANS FIT !!LOL AND MY HUBBY HAD THE BALLS TO SAY WHY ARE U LOOKING SO HARD? OR HE WILL SAY IR I LOOKED THAT HARD YOU WOULD BE MAD ITS FUNNY AND I DONT TAKE IT TO FAR BUT WHEN HE LOOKS I WILL SAY SHE ANT GOT NOTHING ON ME SHES JUST A BABY IM A REAL WOMEN
2006-12-28 22:25:39 · answer #7 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married for 27 years it drove me crazy! I am now in a relationship with another man and it still dives me crazy. I would love some insight form men on this myself.
2006-12-28 16:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by blueblossom33 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you don't know what he would do women have to stop being so naive or just plain being stupid. If he looks all the time he would cheat on you wise up young lady, wise up.
2006-12-28 16:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
my husband does it all the time....sometimes I give him a whack and sometimes I just laugh....he would never cheat...he catches me looking at attractive young men now and then too....it's all in fun...he says I should worry when he stops looking.....if your relationship is good and you trust one another then there is no harm in reading the menu....good luck
2006-12-28 16:55:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋