My sister in law is higly jealous of me. It oooozzzzessss outta her the jealousy. She has a difficult time seeing her brother and I happy together. I feel like she doesn't want us to be happy.She constantly nags at us about the way we spend money, or the way we live. She trys to brain wash my husband into believing the way she does...but it doesn't work. I am so sick of it. She goes crying to her mom and dad about how "my husband (her brother) and I don't talk to her" She doesn't like the fact we have friends, and she hates it when my parents come to see me...it like really bothers her that I and my family and his family get along. I feel she has no good intentions...any way to keep her in check...and to make sure my husband listens to me over her and understands me how do I do this?
2006-12-28 08:32:53 · 8 answers · asked by Confused4life 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Sit your hubby down, and tell him your feelings. Talk to his parents too, and tell her to BACK OFF! Remind her that she's not a child, and that you both are living your lives as YOU see fit, not her.
2006-12-28 08:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by Nyki Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do not need to "keep her in check". Treat her with civility and kindness. When she butts in or gives advice simply say, "Thank you for the insight (or suggestion or whatever). We'll consider that." Then you and your husband can figure out what you want to do from there. Don't let it be a power struggle. Just because she gives advice doesn't mean you have to take it.
As far as your statements that she has a difficult time seeing you guys happy, or doesn't like it that you have friends... Those are YOUR peceptions of her mind and motives. You have no way of knowing if she really hates it when her parents visit. Actually you are not a mind reader and don't really know how she feels about anything. Half the time, WE don't even know how we feel about things our own selves, how can someone else say they KNOW our thoughts and motives. No one can do that but God and I'm sure you are not claiming omnipotence.
Just try to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she has good motives. If you continually look for malice on her part you'll see it, even if it isn't really there.
2006-12-28 08:43:15 · answer #2 · answered by katme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and your husband have a good, solid relationship. Being open and honest with him about how she makes you feel is probably your best bet. Then maybe he'll realize his sister's acts of jealousy the next time it arises... if he hasn't already. I wouldn't be too concerned, yet if it continues you might want to ask him to remind his sister that he is married to YOU, and not her. If that doesn't work, (and hopefully it will) you might have to take action yourself.
It also sounds like his sister needs a man which is why she is so involved in your relationship? Misery loves company. Don't let her steal your joy.
2006-12-28 08:47:06 · answer #3 · answered by Queryous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband to make it clear to both you and your sister-in-law that has chosen you fully and completely over his sister, hiss mother and his family. You should be his "first" family now.
You deserve to be first in his life.
If he doesn't do this, express your anger to him in greater and greater volume until he hears it. When a woman is angry, she is really feeling unloved. You just want to trust that he's putting your first, right?
2006-12-28 08:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by michaelmantas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i bet she not going change no matter what, so you and your husband need to stay away from her, and don;t feel sorry if she's crying over it, ignore her otherwise maybe she will brain wash your husband people like are dangerous
2006-12-28 08:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get her own life. Suggest to your husband that he tell her and set some boundaries.
2006-12-28 08:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by nancy e 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she is insicure about herself but she needs to get a life and leave you both alone maybe you have someone for her to meet
2006-12-28 08:53:00 · answer #7 · answered by hallowsevenight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just always be yourself and always be honest with your husband.
2006-12-28 08:36:14 · answer #8 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋