it seems so counter-intuitive as well as counter-productive to pursue someone who is not available... so really, what is the draw? why do people waste so much time and energy chasing that which is unattainable?
2006-12-28 08:29:13 · 19 answers · asked by brielleinfo 2 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Because most people are superficial. They only see what's on the outside. So the "good looking" people are approached more then any other. Which makes them no more beautiful inside then any other "average" person. I was asked a question on a survey. The question was, "Looks or personality"? My answer was "Personality, it lasts alot longer, and doesn't ake an hour to put on.
2006-12-28 08:34:45 · answer #1 · answered by niceguy_thats_me2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's that way with humans all over in many other matters as well.
People want what they can't have. I don't know if it's the chase that they want or what.
2006-12-28 09:54:52 · answer #2 · answered by TobiasLuciaStarr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's probably because they've been pre-approved.
If someone else eats something, you know it ain't poison. If a book is popular, more people buy it. If someone has a nice job, other employers want to hire them. If housing prices go up in a neighbourhood, more people want to move there.
If someone is in a relationship, it seems they're an alright person. They've been vetted and pre-approved by someone else. Not many people want to be first taking a risk on a turkey.
However, sadly, people who are meant to be unavailable are not always unobtainable. Look at divorce rates, adultery, and all that, and you see that sometimes these counter-productive urges produce real problems.
I think there may be a bit of competitive nature in it as well.
But, I've never been attracted to anyone who is unavailable. This is my theory based on observation of failed relationships.
2006-12-28 08:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by dude 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Those people who go after taken guys seem selfish because they only focus on what they want and not for the happiness of others. They don't care if they are breaking other people's relationships just as long as they get what they want. Unless, of course, if the love story is some kinda like some twisted drama that involves either amnesia, parents meddling on their kids' love life, amnesia, an illness that can't be cured and you're about to die, amnesia, etc. If that's the case, then go fight for your man.
2006-12-28 17:30:58 · answer #4 · answered by agelikewine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main reason for attraction to somone who is already married or in a relationship is fear of commitment. If it does work out you have a relationship with them you know it's not going to last because they are emotionally attached to someone else. It prevents yourself from getting heavily emotionally attached to them. There are automatic brakes on the relationship.
It's more about the person who is going through the motions of seeking something better but afraid to try for something real so they go after something "safe" to protect their own feelings from a repetitive harm.
2006-12-28 08:40:04 · answer #5 · answered by Bob 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
because the idea that something is unattainable is so hard for the human mind to percieve. nobody wants to not be able to have something. so when something seems like it's unattainable selfish human nature kicks in tellings us we can have anything we want. if we beleive there is something that is unattainable we automatically can't stand the fact that there's a possibility we can't reach it. we want to be able to always reach everything.
2006-12-28 08:52:24 · answer #6 · answered by Rebekah 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you probably know the answer to your question -- it's precisely because that person is unavailable that they are more desireable. Once you know you can have something it becomes that much less interesting - we can't escape the thrill of the chase and the slight disappointment that comes when it's over.
2006-12-28 08:33:03 · answer #7 · answered by Ryan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe they do for one or two reasons: First, you always want what you can't have; it's human nature. What's unattainable is ofthen more desirable. Second, some people are fearful so they often will desire or go after people they can't have becasue it's "safe".
2006-12-28 08:40:40 · answer #8 · answered by toolgirl_75023 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thought of having something you know you can never have is one of the main traits of a stalker
2006-12-28 08:37:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its the challenge......they say I can have this person If I want to...so they set out to get them.....sometimes their successful and after that they don't want them anymore
2006-12-28 08:33:29 · answer #10 · answered by Lolitta 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋