either he gets fixed or i should get my tubes tied.
we fight about it all the time about it, its making me sad
2006-12-28 08:24:27 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is a quick and easy day procedure for guys. It is a lot more complicated for girls. In most cases the guy gets it done.
2006-12-28 08:26:32 · answer #1 · answered by Constant_Traveler 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Girl, it's a trip to the doctor's office for a guy. For a girl, you have to go under anesthesia and under the knife, much more dangerous for you. He'll recover fairly well in a day or so. You will have a recovery similar to a real surgery. You will probably have it done laparoscopically. They cut 2 or 3 holes in your stomach, blow you up with gas, stick a scope down in your gut, move your guts around until they find your tubes, cut, tie and burn your tubes. Then, they sew you up, and you have several days of horrible pains from the gas that was left inside of you as it is trying to escape your body. Yeah, I know, someone else may say it's a little exaggerated, but come on, a guy gets a little valium, takes a nice sleep(not near the danger of the poison anesthesia, with the tube down your throat) He gets a little slit, cut and tied, and he's fine. Tell him he's a jerk for even thinking of fighting over it. You're the one who went through the pain of childbirth. Getting his tubes tied is like getting a splinter compared to that.
2006-12-28 08:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi, have him get a vasectomy. It is a quick procedure with few complications. He will not have to have anesthesia, and recovery time is fairly quick. If he wants a back up in case you all do decide to have children later, you can always leave a deposit at a sperm bank.
For women, it is very different. Anesthesia, complications due to the procedure including adhesions, which can be very painful.
There is also post tubal syndrome which needs to be considered..
Women are NOT usually informed of post tubal ligation syndrome or that tubal ligation can cause andomyosis that manifests as dysfunctional uterine bleeding (DUB) requiring surgical remedies such as dilation and curettage (D&C) or complete hysterectomies for excessive bleeding... or that the tubal ligation procedure can affect the blood supply to the ovaries causing anovulation (ovaries failing to normally function or to ovulate), premature ovarian failure (POF), and sudden premature menopause.
My friend had problems for years and years with this! It is more simple, less expensive, less dangerous, less recovery time, less everything for a man to have a vasectomy. If you all really feel that sterilization is necessary, then the obvious rational choice would be for him to get a vas.- dd
2006-12-28 08:38:19 · answer #3 · answered by dedum 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Neither procedure is without risks or pain. I can't tell you which should do what but you may want to go for something temporary until you can work this out such as the pill or the Depo shot.
My husband and I both are fixed and we love the fact that if mine fails we got a back up :).
2006-12-28 08:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by The Steele's 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know you don't want anymore children then maybe you should be the one. Heaven forbid something happen to your husband and you remarry then the new husband and you have to decide again who goes in.
That is how I decided to get my tubal. It may be a little twisted to think that way. I think if you are the one to have to carry them to nurture them threw the pregnancy it would be less stress to know that you had taken care of it.
My brother said he would be the one for him and his wife......it's been 6years and he still hasn't done it. Take matters in to your control if you are sure this is what you want. They go threw the bellybutton and it is a cinch. The worst it got after felt more like a strong menstrual cramp.
Good luck.
2006-12-28 08:33:28 · answer #5 · answered by jen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that to say that you don't want to get your tubes tied, and he doesn't want to have a vasectomy? Someone needs to take responsibility if neither of you want more children. I was with someone and had my tubes tied after our last child, I didn't care if he wanted to populate the universe, I knew that three children was enough for me. I was a fast breeder, and I'm glad I made that decision for myself.
2006-12-28 08:29:29 · answer #6 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should get fixed. the procedure is much easier for a man then a woman, but a lot of guys think less of themselves as men once the have this done. In the mean time use condoms. or go on the pill. there are other methods of birth control, talk with your doctor.
2006-12-28 08:29:08 · answer #7 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, he can either spend two days (if that) getting over his outpatient surgery where he doesn't even have to go to the hospital, or he can spend 6 weeks taking care of YOU after you have major abdominal surgery. Tell him to stop being so damn selfish, and go get snipped. If he's really putting up a fight about it, you might ask him if he DOES want more kids, and might leave you for his mistress who CAN have kids. Men have this idiotic idea that their women should be barefoot and pregnant or he doesn't FEEL like a MAN. GOD! They should really give it up and realize it's not all about THEM. Good luck, you're going to need it..
2006-12-28 08:37:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you fighting about who should get it done?
It's easier if a man goes through the procedure because it is a simpler operation.
However, I wouldn't force him to do it. Men seem to value their sperm a LOT. And I think they feel it would make them less manly if they are not fertile.
I would give him all the facts about the pros and cons of each procedure highlighting all the things that can go wrong with tubal ligation. Ask him frankly if it is more important for him to keep his little buddies or if it is more important that you not be put through the risks. ^_^
2006-12-28 08:28:40 · answer #9 · answered by joycedomingo 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
The easiest thing to do is for him to get snipped. Many of my coworkers have had it done, and aside from missing a few days and being tender for about a week, they all say they don't feel any different (yes, sex included).
If he's a dedicated husband and wants the quickest way out of more kids, a vasectomy is the ticket.
2006-12-28 09:08:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's a lot less physically taxing on him to have a vasectomy.
It's my experience that guys just don't take responsibility when it comes to reproductive matters (as well as other things lol). You may have to be the one who steps forward and takes care of the dilema. Afterall, you will be the one pregnant again, not him.
I am having the same struggle with my husband and it looks like he's not willing to do anything so I will. Don't let it get you down.
2006-12-28 08:34:15 · answer #11 · answered by scorpio1913 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋