I have been with my girlfriend for 7 months now and I love her very much. I am 23 and I am a successful Real Estate Officer. She is 22 and works as a hairdresser. Her LMP was 10/07. We had two positive tests on 11/13. When we first found out, I said I would support any decision that she makes. She decided to keep it and even made me tell my family. Now since she has gone home for christmas she is distraught and assertively tells me that she does not want to have the baby. I reassure her all the time that I will be there throughout the pregnancy and I will support our family for the rest of my life. She went to my office christmas party before going home and she told people she was pregnant, held her belly, didn't drink, and has been doing the necessary things to ensure a healthy pregnancy. I do not support abortion at this point in the pregnancy and I have no idea what to do. Please help!!!! I am being torn apart. What is going on in her head?
2006-12-28 08:02:38 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Because you haven't married her yet, foo!!
That's what's going on in her head "Oh he says he loves me and will support our little family yet....he HASNT MARRIED ME!!!!"
marry the girl!
2006-12-28 08:04:38 · answer #1 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
She is confused and needs you more than ever. Encourage her, and tell her how you feel, let her know you are also scared but feel that abortion is not something you can handle either. Be honest with her. Sounds like her family have put the pressure in her to not have it, or have given her a hard time and she is not emotionally able to deal with it as pregnancy messes up your feelings.
Take her out on a date and hold her close, she really needs you to continue to show you are committed to her.
Tell her you want to help her and it is a decsion you should both make together, after all you are the father.
However also talk about what you guys will do after the baby is born in terms of jobs, where you live, she is probably scared of all the descions to make not just the descion of the baby.
Good luck... hope things work out for the best
2006-12-28 08:11:20 · answer #2 · answered by Marmitemonster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's my thoughts...
I think she is wrestling with the idea of becoming a parent which is absolutely normal. The big part of this is obviously the commitment of the other parent. Since you two are not married and you've only been dating 7 months then obviously ya'll don't know enough about each other to be certain of the commitment either will make.
You both should realize that if she decides to keep the child you both will be financially responsible until the child is 18. My suggestion to her is.. if she's has the child before you guys are married (if you plan on it) then she should immediate get an attorney and draw up the child support papers. If you are truly willing to 'be there' for them both then you should have not problems either marrying her or signing the child support papers.
So.. propose marriage.. or propose a legal agreement for child support. In either case she may be more willing to consider you opinion. With out either of these being proposed... then the decision is totally hers.
Good luck.
2006-12-28 08:09:18 · answer #3 · answered by wrkey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a tricky one. I believe the father has just as much right as the mother to make decisions but life has no guarantees. If she really doesn't want this baby then trying or forcing her to have it is going to be hard on her and this child. If she wants to have and give it up for adoption,well then the choice is your's you can take your child and live happily ever after. Im sure she's feeling like she doesn't want to be stuck raising this child alone and you two have only been together for 7 months. Personally if I had a quarter for every time man in my life said he would be there for me I'd be a rich woman. You may be genuine in your words but in the end the decision is her's and you should respect it either way.Oh and don't get married just because she's pregnant that never works.
2006-12-28 08:13:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I am 11 weeks pregnant, about the same as your girlfriend, my LMP was 10/09/06. I had an abortion earlier this year in Feb, due to some things that my family was saying, and I made the wrong decision, only because my boyfriend would not tell me how he felt. He only told me that he supports my decision, and afterwards I was so angry that we almost ended our relationship. The best thing to do is let her know that you are there to support her, but that you play a part too and it is between you and her what decisions needs to made, not her family. Tell her to think hard about the decision, and be sure to include you, because it is life changing. And to me it sounds like she was excited and her family said something to crash her excitment, same thing that happend to me. She is most likely aiming to please them, not wanting to disappoint anybody and making her life and yours tough in the process. Make sure she bases her decision on what she feels is best for her, you, and the baby, not her family. And tell her that life after abortion is difficult, from my perspective.
2006-12-28 08:23:55 · answer #5 · answered by Ladee_N_Texas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is most likely scared to have to change her life around for her baby so quickly. There are also a lot of men who leave their girlfriends for that and that is probably on the back of her mind. I do not believe in abortion. Its a hard thing to go through when you know your boyfriend does not have a permanent commitment with you like marriage. You have to ensure her that you will always be by her side no matter what. Even if the baby ends up having problems you ill be there for her. Go to church and ask God to help you and your girlfriend go through this.
Show her you really love her, get married if you know she is the one and if you would risk anything for her even your life
2006-12-28 08:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by vovorute 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either shes half scared to death, she is just using the baby to show off until the abortion, or she wants to keep the baby, but keeps telling herself she doesn't want the baby, i think the 3rd one. You should sit down and have a talk. And if you don't support the abortion, then don't tell her that you'll support any decision she make. Be honest. Good Luck.
2006-12-28 08:12:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this situation 6 years ago. My boyfriend at the time (now my husband) said he would be there no matter what, but I was still nervous about ending up taking care of my baby alone.
I would find out if her parents/ family is supporting her decision to keep the baby or not. It may help if you talk to them personally. My husband did with mine and it helped out a lot. I am not sure of your situation but I would see if your girlfriend is okay with you talking with her parents or if she would like you to do it together.
2006-12-28 08:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Keiko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down and reassure her that you love her with all your heart and theres nothing you wouldnt do for her. Tell her that god gave you guys a baby for a special reason. And make her think... ask her" what if your parents aborted you?" and then answer right away "You wouldnt be here today and I wouldnt have such a wonderful person in my life like you " and ask her " why abortion? what did the baby do to you thats so wrong?" people dont realize things until they actually start thinking deep in thought . say all positive things about a baby in your life..... like how fun he/she would be, and how wonderful parents you two WILL be use present words, not past tense like "would" say it like ur having the baby. the one way i will not say no is if someone cries to me. CRY TO UR WOMAN!!!!!!! good luck to you and ur girl, best wishes!!!
2006-12-28 09:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by *Alicia* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
alot is going through her head. a baby is a big responsibility maybe going home and to that party made her realize what she is loosing. i love being a mother but i miss alot of the things i use to beable to do like go out when ever and stay up when ever and drink and just act stupid how old is she email me at cutie_2258@hotmail.com i can give you some advice i am 20 with a 6 month old baby
2006-12-28 08:06:17 · answer #10 · answered by miraclebaby_2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing that you can do, it is her decision. It sounds like she might be scared and doesn't know what to do. Just tell her whatever she decides you will support her, if you keep stressing the fact that you want her to have the baby she might resent you and have an abortion, you have time just be patient, sounds like she may want to have it not drinking and telling people.
2006-12-28 08:07:30 · answer #11 · answered by *sexy mocha* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋