How many years?

Question

would you spend molding someone, teaching them how to be perfect for you?

Whoa! Look at the judgment flying around this room!!!

I suppose I've made my POINT.

Answer 1

38 seconds

Answer 2

I don't believe you can "mold" people.

Actually I'm pretty sure that it is impossible for adults, while it may be possible for children (but at the risk of doing some psychological damage to them).

Even the maddest and most dictatorial regimes, using the most cruel brain-washing techniques, never managed to really change people for good - if and when people escaped, after some time they would eventually go back to "their old self".


Bottom-line: accept that you cannot change a person in anything big / significant. If you're asking this in the perspective of a relationship, say you can't take the significant other's issues, then my advice would be to give up and move on.

As a side comment, I don't believe that relationships are based on each person being "perfect" for the other. They start with each person being "pretty good" for the other, and then with love and time they may develop in something even better. But "perfect" - no.

Answer 3

You should not "mold" someone into being perfect for you. That's not the right idea. People only change when they want to change. No matter what kind of progress you think you've made with this person, in the end, they will be the way they've always been. People can change together...grow together. That's the way to go about it. If you feel like you have to be a teacher to this person then you are being more like his mother rather then his girlfriend. Not good when you are trying to establish a relationship.

Answer 4

None.

You can't change people to be perfect for you. They either are or they aren't. It doesn't really seem fair to change them, does it?

If someone were trying to mold you into the perfect female for them, would you like that?

Plus, after you've molded him into the perfect partner for you... you'll hate him. You fall in love with those little things the other person does... and changing who someone is to make you happy, that doesn't really make them happy. Maybe for the time being, until they wake up one day and say, "wow, this isn't me."

Don't mold, don't conform... Just let be. Love will find a way on it's own.

Answer 5

It took me nearly 10 years of marriage to figure out that wasn't going to happen. The next 10 years, we figured out (with a little professional help) how to live with each other's quirks and "differences". For the past 6 years, things have been pretty good. Not perfect, but good.

So to answer your question - it ain't gonna happen. The best you can do is try to avoid pushing each other's buttons deliberately - it's going to happen accidentally, no matter how hard you try.

Now....if you have drugs, a dungeon, and a whip, it might happen a little sooner. Why don't you let me know how that works for you?

Answer 6

None. The perfect person for you wont need to be molded at all. The question should be...are you the perfect person for that person...

Answer 7

None, perfection is a myth dear. If we were perfect we wouldn't be on this planet. I suggest you stop trying to do this immediately. Should you continue, you are just setting yourself for a life time full of let downs.

Answer 8

None, no one is perfect in this world and you cannot make any person to be one. If you cannot accept that person, then you might as well move on with your life.

Answer 9

how many years would YOU allow someone to mold you and expecting you to be perfect for them. I think it's best not to attempt. You appreciate someone for her they are, not for what you want them to be.

Answer 10

If you have to mold them to be something they aren't, they weren't meant to be perfect for you. Unless you are talking about a pet. :P