We have not seen my 8 year old stepson in 4 months due to issues with his mom. He is coming for the weekend and going back home Monday. My husband is planning to go out with friends on Saturday and will be leaving around 9pm. The kids usually go to bed around twelve on weekends. We stay up late watching movies and then sleep in the next morning. I think he should put his family first and stay home with us. He sees nothing wrong with going out and normally I wouldn't care it's just that I think he should spend as much time as he can with his son. My husband is trying to twist things around saying I am mad because I have to be responsible for one more child-which is not true! The kids get along great! It's actually easier when my stepson is here because the boys entertain each other. I think my husband is being selfish. Am I wrong for getting mad?
2006-12-28 07:43:02 · 16 answers · asked by Kristy M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's incredibly immature of him to plan to go out while his son's there - what sort of message is that sending? He's telling his child that, although they haven't seen each other in way too long, "quality time" with his buddies is more important than time spent together - whether it's watching movies or what. Unless this is a super-important, once-in-a-lifetime event with his friends (in which case he could explain to his son that he needs to make an appearance but won't stay long), he shoud be more of a man and skip it.
His son will remember that his dad wasn't there a lot longer than the friends will.
2006-12-28 07:52:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely not wrong for getting mad. He has not seen his own son in 4 months and needs to spend time with him because he never knows when the next time will be that he will be able to see him. He needs to take advantage of the time that he is getting with him especially since you guys are having problems with his mom! Tell him to quit being selfish and to stay home, and tell him that he knows darn well that you wouldn't mind any other time if he went out, he just shouldn't go out this weekend and he should spend time with his son!
2006-12-28 07:49:35 · answer #2 · answered by Lori J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. His first priority should be to his son. I have been in your situation. It will get to the point, if this continues to happen, as your stepson gets older, he will not want to come for his visits. He will start planning other things that will interfere with his visits so that he doesn't have to visit. Then, his father will be going around saying "I never get to see him". If he can't put off going out with friends until a more convenient time, is he really being a father to his son?
2006-12-28 07:49:04 · answer #3 · answered by MelissaJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband has not seen his son in 4 months and is still planning on going out with his friends, he is a jerk. What kind of caring father would do this? I would be mad at him too. He is turning it around to safe face. He knows hes wrong and his son will thinks so too.
2006-12-28 07:54:27 · answer #4 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is that dead air spcae between his ears.
If he has not had the son in a long time,
This should be more important to him than going out with friends.
he can always do that another time. WHile he cant make up the time he does not give his son. The son just may see what his father is like when he does this.
He needs to set priorities, Son first friends last.
2006-12-28 07:48:22 · answer #5 · answered by apostle1938 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are completely right on this. Your husband can go out anytime. He should spend this time with his son. It doesn't matter how well the kids get along. What matters is that a father should spend quality time with his child for entire weekend.
2006-12-28 07:53:56 · answer #6 · answered by DL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce this loser!! He hasnt see his own child in 4 months, and the same weekend the kid is coming down, your husband is leaving with friends? His priorities are ALL WRONG. This is exactly how he will act with your children in the event that you divorce. Sounds like a dead beat dad.
2006-12-28 08:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by Donna K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong. Your husband could go out next weekend. He hasn't seen his son in 4 months. I don't get why a lot of men don't have the bond or affection that we women have with our kids. Kids are half of their dads too. You can't force your husband not to go out, but I would definitely talk to him again. MEN JUST DON'T GET IT!!!!
2006-12-28 07:50:12 · answer #8 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your husband really should stay for the weekend and spend quality time with his son. Surely he can go out on other weekends?
2006-12-28 07:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by sins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not wrong. Yes, he is being selfish. He should not be going out with his friends the weekend his son is visiting..PERIOD. Even though he is leaving at 9pm, he's not going to be 100% on Sunday. Priorities, priorities, priorities....
2006-12-28 07:51:05 · answer #10 · answered by julesl68 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋