how can i change my friends attitude?

Question

ok my friends attitude is prob the biggest problem hes 19 but he can act half that age sometimes, he is impatient sometimes and moans a lot, i know that this change has to come from within him and telling him to change his attitude wont work but is there any advice you can give me, thanks

Answer 1

You cannot change your friends attitude but the way you react to his behaviour will have an impact on his behaviour in the future.

If he is acting immaturely then tell him how you feel when he acts that way. eg. 'When you do that, I feel this'.

Appreciate him when he is acting appropriately eg. I really enjoy your company when you are ..........' 'It's great when you ......'

Listen to him when he moans ....... don't say anything, just listen ..... when he seems to have finished say 'Is there anything else you want to say about that' ...... let him continue until he stops ...... then say 'is there anything else you want to say about that' continue until he runs out of steam..

At the end of the day, if he doesn't change then you may have to give him an ultimatum.

Good Luck,

Sparky x

Answer 2

Rather than change your friend's attitude I think you should change friends. It sounds rather as though your friend is an unhappy chappie deep down - no-one likes being constantly wound up which is making him impatient and if he is alway moaning, he must has a reason for this

If you can't accept a person as they and you feel you want them to change then it's time to move on. Perhaps you have 'outgrown him' - I presume he has always been like this, but yet you made friends with him in the first place, but as we get older and meet new people and perhaps have new interests, things and people that we thought were funny and interesting don't seem that way any more.

You don't need to fall out with your friend, but look for others and don't spend so much time with him, if he asks you why be honest and tell him. Given time he too may become more mature and kick the gremlins which are making him such a misery at the moment

Answer 3

Wow bud you have your work cut out for you. Changing someones attitude is extremely difficult. Try talking to your friend. Explain what the problem is and let your friend know you're not happy about how he/she is acting.

When your friend acts up again stop him right on the spot and remind your friend of the conversation you two had about the “ ttude he/she is displaying”.

A interpersonal change doesn’t happen over night and may never happen if the person doesn’t recognize the issue and is not willing to make the necessary changes to improve themselves.. 19 is young an a Personality can be changed easier at that age then someone who is 50.
Best of luck

Answer 4

There is absolutely no way to change a person's attitude but you can motivate him to change but and if he is willing then that's the way to get started. Try doing incentives like giving him rewards for keeping up his good works.

Answer 5

I have a friend that is constantly moaning and blaming everything on me and my other mates. so what im going to do is tell her that its bugging me and that shes still our mate but that she needs to change her attitude towards us and some other people. If there your mate they should understand that your only suggesting it for the best. Hope i helped :-)

Answer 6

Ones attitude can't be change in a twinkle of an eye but with time, constant reminding and good advices.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

talk to him
I bet he is not like that around girls
It is very hard to change people's attitude and I think you should give him time. Everyone is mature when he/she is alone. I have notices that on my classmates and people I have known. There's some maturity in a person somewhere.

Answer 9

Just tell him that if he don't sort himself out, he's to look for another mate, see what happens, if he wont buck up, then walk, he's still a teen, they all have attitudes...right?

Answer 10

You cannot change another person. Nor should you expect to. If hes your friend, then you should be able to communicate with him in a reasonable manner regarding your issues.