Being pressured for oral sex.?

Question

I have been happily married for 7 years. My husband is always pressuring me for oral sex. I won't do it because I find it disgusting. I don't want him doing it to me either. Is there a compromise?

Answer 1

I'm very glad the two of you have been happily married for seven years.

With this next part I'm trying to chose my words rather carefully. I am not the least bit chauvinist, nor am I the type to look upon relationships as traditional roles.

However, I gotta tell you...

Statistically speaking, when it comes to physical intimacies, oral sex is really mainstream stuff. There really isn't anything wierd, perverted, "alternative," or fetish about it. It's pretty vanilla stuff in the realm of activities that two people can do.

I only mention that because I sort'a winced when you used the word "pressuring" in your question. I suspect that's more your interpretation since you don't like it.

I do like the fact that you did ask if there is a compromise available.

I'm laughing here, because unless you can find another woman to do it, I can't think of one...

(Grin)

However, the way I approach problems, I believe there are always different strategies and solutions. I also like your attitude toward this dilemma, and I think you would like to find different strategies also.

The key here (as with everything else) is to put it into a different frame of reference, and see where it goes.

Forget about "oral sex" for a moment, but look at what it is.

Without turning this into an X-rated romance story, as an act, it's an alternative. It's an alternative to the old stand by "tab A into slot B," so to speak.

Are there other alternatives to this one alternative?

I'm fishing here, but by chance, does he find other parts of your anatomy more intriguing than others? Maybe it's your breasts, your feet, or maybe your butt?

Now wait a moment here... Before you become equally disgusted at the thought of your butt, don't assume I'm automatically leading toward anal sex, because I'm not.

Let me explain this in order...

My wife won't let me watch as she always smiles evily when she tells me it's her secret, but she can do this thing with her fingers, that I swear feels like I'm inside her. She will do this when we start and I require assistance becoming erect.

Now for you, how do you think Mr. Hubby would react if you spent time using your hands, replete with olive oil or massage oil?

Could that be an alternative strategy?

Especially if you make little squishy noises with your hands?

How about if you allowed him to do something similar between your breasts? Now I dont know the extent of your level of sensibilities, but if you were to lay on your back, hold your breasts together (which for Mr. Hubby is a hell of a visual) and allowed him to thrust up and down between your oiled breasts, I don't think he'd complain much. And who knows, you might really like the sensations too!

And on a personal note, I love lingerie and hosiery. The visual is stunning, and the tactile expression can be exhilerating. Maybe Mr. Hubby might find the sensation of your stocking-clad thigh or foot upon his organ very enticing. And for you, the sexiness, and the sense of control might float your boat, so to speak.

And lastly, especially nice while in the shower together. Do you think you could let him sort of tuck himself in the middle back there and slide his organ up and down the length of your backside?

I'm really not trying to be gross here, but strangely enough, you might find the sensation of his organ sliding up and down against your opening back there, somewhat pleasureable.

And not I'm not talking about his organ entering you back there. That's a different subject entirely...

But my point with all of this is that yes there are alternative "activities" to the activity that you do not wish to participate in. I've touched upon four different posssibiities that might work, or might not work.

But with this you have a way to approach the dilemma, and between the two of you, I'm sure you can come up with all sort of fun stuff!

Answer 2

You're sexually incompatible and you got married anyway? Communication? My husband would be very unhappy with a woman who did not give oral. It's not entirely about the sexual aspect of it either - it's about being willing to do things you may not find particularly enjoyable to please your spouse. This is something the two of you should have worked out before getting married. If he really loves you, and knows that you feel this strongly, he would leave you alone about it and deal with it.

Example, some women don't like anal, some guys have to do it and some guys could care less. A woman who doesn't like it needs to NOT be with a man who absolutely has to have it.

It's all about compatibility. Although, I'm not in any way suggesting you should do something that makes you extremely uncomfortable, chances are he wouldn't enjoy it anyway.

Answer 3

Do you find kissing his mouth disgusting ? If not, what is the difference ?
If you don't enjoy giving pleasure to your husband why did you marry him ? Do you love him ? I'm sure you like it when he does things to pleasure you.

Answer 4

If you don't want to perform oral sex than don't do it. I think you should allow him to do it to you tho'. Have you tried doing it to him? Actually it is a very pleasurable and sensual sexual act if you can become comfortable with it. Good Luck but don't let him pressure you. The compromise would be that you have at least tried it with your best effort and if you still don't like it then he should understand. Don't be surprised if he gets it elsewhere!!

Answer 5

you said- happily married for 7 years. if he is pressuring then it was not possible. in right words he request you.

as a woman wants to be suck her boobs as foreplay, this is just like that.

although you can ask him to clean his organ, shave it , use some perfume near by and if you like tell him to apply some honey, chocolate, ketchup, jam or any other thing which you like to be apply on his p***** . you also please do same.

do it in 69 positions and tell him to perform first on you. after some time you perform it.

please remove any kind of hate from your mind. before thousands of year
in KAMASUTRA book in INDIA , there is complete detail about this. in old Indian temples you can see statues of god and god es doing this act. the makers were not fullish, they wanted to give massage to us.

you should respect his wishes for a good married life. hope you will please consider. it is very important for your husbands sexual life and mental peace.

Answer 6

No there is no compromise.... what in the world could be a compromise....

How ever in the world did you come to have such a negative attitude about oral s e x?

Answer 7

There is no compromise. And I do not understand why you would find something so pleasurable so disgusting. You should dig deep within yourself and come up with the answer as to why you find it to be so disgusting. God bless****

Answer 8

Maybe you can give him a handjob.

Or have you thought about giving him oral with a condom on?

If all fails, ask him to close his eyes and use a warm apple pie. I'm sure he won't know the difference. haha

;)

Answer 9

The only compromise is for you to do it. It can be enjoyable I used to hate it. But knowing it gives him so much pleasure it in turn turns me on. Have you ever tried it? It is a must to be clean and smelling good too!!

Answer 10

Well some men really love that!!! Have him take a shower and have fun with him. You are missing out as well because that could be so much fun. I would want to satisfy my husband so he will not try to get it elsewhere.